To think we can’t take the children out of school just to spend Christmas with DHs family

[ansieone]

My DH is Serbian, he is Orthodox Christian and celebrates Christmas on January 7th. We have 2 DC our eldest is 4 and will start school in the summer. We are flying out tomorrow for his family Christmas and I was packing, I mentioned casually that it was a bit sad this would be our last year going for a while, he seemed totally shocked and asked why. I mentioned that most of the time school will be back by the 7th so we won’t have a choice. He said that he figured we’d just take the kids out of school for the first week back, we will likely go private so fines shouldn’t be an issue but he said even if we went state he’d rather pay the fines than miss Christmas with his family. He believes that it is really important they get time with his family and not just his parents who will visit but his siblings, cousins etc. and Christmas is the only time everyone is reliably together. I do understand this but I’m not sure I agree that we can just pull them out for the first week of term year after year, maybe I’d feel differently if it was one day, or the last day of term, but 5 whole days at the start of term where I expect they will be refreshing last terms learning and starting new topics feels damaging.

AIBU to say we can’t just take them out of school? DH seems really upset and annoyed at the prospect of missing Christmas with his family.

Holiday can be scheduled at a different time of year, because those older children don’t benefit from
joining in religious and family events so they can stay at school for learning during those periods.

Then presumably you actually
missed out on some cultural customs and gatherings throughout the year, therefore you don’t know well cultured you are or aren’t, because you weren’t part of it growing up.

and judging by your rigid belief system school didn’t do your diversity and critical thinking skills much good either.

Quite the mental gymnastics you’ve gone through there to blame decrease in mental health on taking time off school to spend time with family, when in reality much anxiety in children is actually caused by the rigidity of school itself

It’s really not that big of a deal as long as the kids have good /perfect attendance otherwise.

Don't generalise like that. That's a ridiculous, provocative stretch, and you know it. Resorting to insults when your argument falls flat will get you nowhere . You don't even know me, so you have no idea whether I do or don't fulfil your cultural tick box.

They’ve already had two weeks for Christmas, why couldn’t it have been celebrated then?

Resorting to insults when your argument falls flat will get you nowhere

Says the poster telling others that they’re probably hastening their parents’ death by foisting their grandchildren on them every festive season, and criticising spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Because that’s not their Christmas.

That's creepy.

What is? It was me you told I was hastening my parent’s death! I remembered it, unsurprisingly 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only year groups I would choose not to take them out would be year 6, 9, 10 and 11

Where on earth has this comment come from? Is there some backstory or history here? Are you Ok @Daygloboo? Do you have close friends or family in your life?

Your child is allowed time for religious observance. I think it is 2 days. Someone I worked with was Polish and used it so her daughter could make her first communion.

If you go private then you may well have longer holidays.

I'd also say it is an educational opportunity.

What do you mean exactly? We do celebrate Christmas in the UK with my family then but it’s rather more about presents and seeing my family.
Why we don’t go to Serbia then is because Christmas in Serbia isn’t until January 7th so his relatives don’t get time off work, schools close on different dates etc. It’s hard to get an entire extended family to celebrate on a different date to suit the few who don’t live in the country. It’s also a religious celebration, heavily centred around church, you can’t just moved that to a different day.
This is also why we don’t host orthodox Christmas here, DHs family can’t afford the flights/Visas/hotels, and we couldn’t afford to fly his entire family out.

You don’t fulfill my cultural tick box, because you don’t want this posters child to experience her family’s culture for reasons that are untrue and ill justified.

it is an observation, not an insult. If you are offended that’s ok.