To think we can’t take the children out of school just to spend Christmas with DHs family

[ansieone]

My DH is Serbian, he is Orthodox Christian and celebrates Christmas on January 7th. We have 2 DC our eldest is 4 and will start school in the summer. We are flying out tomorrow for his family Christmas and I was packing, I mentioned casually that it was a bit sad this would be our last year going for a while, he seemed totally shocked and asked why. I mentioned that most of the time school will be back by the 7th so we won’t have a choice. He said that he figured we’d just take the kids out of school for the first week back, we will likely go private so fines shouldn’t be an issue but he said even if we went state he’d rather pay the fines than miss Christmas with his family. He believes that it is really important they get time with his family and not just his parents who will visit but his siblings, cousins etc. and Christmas is the only time everyone is reliably together. I do understand this but I’m not sure I agree that we can just pull them out for the first week of term year after year, maybe I’d feel differently if it was one day, or the last day of term, but 5 whole days at the start of term where I expect they will be refreshing last terms learning and starting new topics feels damaging.

AIBU to say we can’t just take them out of school? DH seems really upset and annoyed at the prospect of missing Christmas with his family.

What a bizarre take on a once a year important occasion. family is the most important group to be part of too and these ones live in a different country so they are persevering that ‘group’ at a meaningful time

What a sad way to look at it. They adore their grandkids and having us there for Reyes is massively important to them, which is partly why we do it. Most grandparents like spending time with their grandchildren.
In fact, they invite us! Bizarre concept to some I guess.

What ?

wtf?

I work in a school and it’s rare that teachers are annoyed about kids being off. When it does happen, it’s mostly concern , rather than actual annoyance and it’s related to actual poor attendance rather than a week’s holiday once a year.

I should also add that they’re both retired teachers! FIL was a headmaster for 20 years, MIL a primary school teacher. They also pay for our flights every year as our Christmas present!

Maybe that's part of the problem.

I grew up abroad without this odd 100% attendance thing and I can quite confirm that missing week there and there dis not make us selfosh individuals and did not impact on us being part of the group.
I think this 100% attendance is absolutely ridicolous thing tbh.

I’d go. I’m anti my kids missing school in general, but if this it’s important to your family then a few days of school won’t affect them.

Just time it sensibly to minimise the days they miss. Chances are it’ll only be a couple of days anyway

No no no, this can’t be true. Everyone who grew up in countries where term time absences are permitted must ALL be deviants who can’t function in society!

Could you compromise and travel over to family every other year but always have the 7th off to celebrate the day together as a family?

What if they miss their reception introduction to quantum mechanics or string theory? As opposed to playing and building cardboard sculptures. Seriously take them out. the schools shut school for all sorts of
reasons. No harm will come of it. You are being ridiculous and your DH is right to be annoyed.

I would go. Bring with family at important times in the festive calendar important. How many days off school are we talking?

We are the chaos of the world.

Agree and then let DH take responsibility for the education missed. He can go through the missed lessons with the DC.

It’s the beginning primary school OP is talking about how much education seriously are they about to miss. There is a world of information on line. You can miss school due to illness more than this. Nothing will happen. I can’t believe how some people think about school.

No, but it makes you prone to creating terrible typos and not checking your writing properly. Perhaps you should have spent more time in the classroom.😂

Pretty low road to take, criticising spelling and grammar.

Following her petty jibe about us ‘forcing ourselves’ on our family, are you surprised? You know someone has lost an argument when they resort to personal insults.

Or those of us who went to English schools 20 years ago where this wasn’t a ‘thing’! It’s a very recent and random policy that has no scientific basis (the evidence is that absence is correlated with low attendance not that absence of otherwise typical kids going on a family holiday causes low attainment. It’s more to do with unmet SEN and other social ills). I just can’t see it still being in place in 10 years. It’s so unpopular it’s amazing no government hasn’t scrapped it for pure democratic reasons already. But Labour is rather determined to shoot itself in the foot by continuing all the most unpopular Tory policies…

Yes, because spelling and grammar aren't at all important, are they. We wouldn't want to do anything as crass as make ourselves understood on paper. God. Perish the thought.

Its funny how some people are obsessed that the odd day off will ruin chuldrens education

But the same concern isn't shown for children not in school as despite following the correct procedures their parents can't find a school place for them.

My eldest missed a whole half term waiting for a school place. (Before the appeal board found in our favour in less than 5 minutes for the school our younger DD has been allocated as it clearly said she should have been offered one as well).

Oh no. So ashamed. Back to my cave

Interestingly, despite draconian absence policies and a pervading culture of presenteeism England has some of the lowest productivity metrics in the developed world.
Thankfully my trilingual kids will have the option to work and bring up their families elsewhere!

Which part are you struggling with?