My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

[Crispychillifriedbeef]

We live overseas and we have a full time nanny. She also does cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. This is normal for the culture here. Everyone has a housekeeper / nanny / driver. We pay her well and she’s part of the family, she’s been with us 18 months with no problems.

My husband works full time and I’m a writer and a part time student. We have a small child at school and a two year old who is at home but attends an educational setting part time. My husband and I go to lots of events so need evening cover.

Anyway, we have been in our home country for 3 weeks over Christmas and the nanny has had 3 weeks paid leave. She sends me a WhatsApp today saying “I’ve had cosmetic surgery done” with various photos. She is expecting to be off work for 3-4 weeks. We come back to the country tomorrow so we’re expecting to see her tomorrow.

AIBU to be annoyed? This was sprung on me at the last minute.

Is there an AMA from a diplomat's wife? I'd love to read what it's actually like to be one.

I would be happy to do one very anonymously.

Finding people's responses baffling. Of course the nanny took the piss. And I have a feeling if OP was an entitled monster, the nanny wouldn't have dared tried this.

She had elective cosmetic surgery for goodness sake, it wasn't an emergency medical issue which would warrant patience, understanding and paid sick leave, despite any inconvenience caused.

Please do @Crispychillifriedbeef . Which continent do you live in?

Can you imagine the replies if the thread was 'My childminder is supposed to reopen after the Christmas holidays tomorrow but she's just text me to say she's taking the next three weeks off and isn't planning to refund my fees' 😂
Everyone would be advising the mum to trash her on facebook and report her to Ofsted to get the bitch closed down.

This is unexaptable from her hope she don't expect you to pay for her sick leave

Try reading my original post again.

I have and am still none the wiser!

You could ask other parents who uses childminders to look after your children for 3 weeks. You can use that time to try and find another nanny. She is taking the piss having surgery without giving you time to find a temporary nanny. I think she done it on purpose so you don't replace her. I hope you do find someone else so her little plan backfires.

I have 3 children
Both my husband and I worked full time and never have we used childcare apart from when they went to school, yes it is possible, my husband worked 40 hours a week and I worked 36 hours!
So yes, it is possible

Is the point that:
if you have used childcare, the childminder or nursery staff is employed to do something you could do yourself (eg be a SAHP)
if your children are in school, the teacher is employed to do something you could do yourself (eg home educate)
If you've ever eaten in a restaurant, the staff have to cook the meal and serve it to you (as opposed to you cooking yourself and eating at home)
If you have takeaway delivery, staff are paid to cook the meal and deliver it to you (again, as opposed to you cooking it yourself)
If your rubbish is collected, the refuse collectors are paid to empty your bins (instead of you driving to the tip or landfill yourself)

ie, in all of the above, people are paid to provide a service, be it childcare, teaching, cooking, refuse collection; paying a nanny is the same principle as paying for any other service.

I'm guessing somewhat because the first post in the sub-thread was removed by MN.

Very uncommon though, something like 95% of children in England use their early years funding.

What did you both do for jobs and where did you do those jobs? And what happened to the children while you worked?

It wasn’t a thing when my adult children were young, in-fact apart from when they started preschool at 3, children stayed home with their parent

Thank you.

Children were cared for by either myself or my husband!
My husband was a builder and I was a carer

So once she knew she wouldn’t be paid :had to use her holiday allowance she decided she could actually work after a week

i think she had played you slightly but as you said better the devil you know and if usually good with kids and they love her , that’s a huge bonus

You haven't explained how. If you're shift workers working opposing shifts, fine, but most jobs are not shift work type jobs and even if they are, many can't pick and choose their shifts.

What do you think preschool is?

Education!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you sent your children to preschool or nursery then you did in fact use childcare, along with 95% of the rest of us.

They didn’t go there though because we were working, and we needed someone to look after them!

They also didn’t go until the term after their 3rd birthday,

you cannot seriously think prostitutes and child care workers are basically the same

so he presumably was the one working days and you were working evenings, so he got a good night's sleep each night and basically had the kids when they were asleep, and you had them all day on a few hours sleep? sounds like you got the rough end of the deal and honestly I'd question the safety of care on years of that level of poor sleep.