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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My son is yet to wish me a happy new year

160 replies

ClaxonRazon · 02/01/2026 03:54

First of all, I’d like to preface this with noting that my son and I generally have a very positive relationship, we spent Christmas with him and his girlfriend and had the most lovely time.

My son is 27, he is independent and I like to think I’m not particularly needy as a parent. He and his girlfriend have gone to Chamonix with some of her friends for New Year. We spoke last on Tuesday via text when he told me they were having a big meal in the chalet then going to some sort of public square for the count down, I told him to have a lovely time.
Last night just after we welcomed the new year here so about 12:30 our time, 1:30 his I messaged both him and wished him a happy new year. I didn’t by any means expect an instant reply, I figured he would be celebrating , but I was keen to go to sleep so didn’t want to wait up in case he called.
This morning I didn’t receive a reply, I wrote it off as probably hung over or out skiing early. Through the afternoon and evening still no reply. Eventually when I called my other son to speak to his family he offered to check and see if he had been active on social media. Apparently he had posted some things on instagram of the meal then of them popping champagne in the square area, his girlfriend had posted some things during the day out snowboarding, then at apres.
I went to bed assuming he would reply when he got a chance but I’ve woken up feeling quite upset, I’m worried that he is unwell or something has happened, and also just hurt he couldn’t take 30 seconds to send a quick happy new year mum message if nothing is wrong.
I don’t want to harass him while he is on holiday but AIBU to be worried and upset? Should I message again or just leave it until he replies?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 02/01/2026 03:57

YABU to be worried and upset that your 27yo independent son has not replied to a trivial text while on holiday with his girlfriend.

PollyBell · 02/01/2026 04:09

bridgetreilly · 02/01/2026 03:57

YABU to be worried and upset that your 27yo independent son has not replied to a trivial text while on holiday with his girlfriend.

This sums it up perfectly

ParallelLimes · 02/01/2026 04:15

Do you mean a text message delivered to his number by mobile service? He's very likely bought a temporary SIM to save on data roaming. It's what the cool kids do nowadays. Or (skiing in some mountains) he might not have phone coverage due to the mountains. He might not have even seen your message yet. YABU.

Gentlydoesit2 · 02/01/2026 04:20

Pathetic. You've got your other son to spy on him and found out he's fine, if anything has happened to him you'd know about it. The issue here is he hasn't responded to your trivial text in the time frame you've set as acceptable. It's only New Year 🙄

NansCheeseFlan · 02/01/2026 04:23

Good grief.

ClaxonRazon · 02/01/2026 04:29

ParallelLimes · 02/01/2026 04:15

Do you mean a text message delivered to his number by mobile service? He's very likely bought a temporary SIM to save on data roaming. It's what the cool kids do nowadays. Or (skiing in some mountains) he might not have phone coverage due to the mountains. He might not have even seen your message yet. YABU.

Edited

I messaged him on WhatsApp, his girlfriend has posted on her socials during the day and it has delivered so they have had service.

OP posts:
springintoaction2 · 02/01/2026 04:34

You are needy - maybe dwell on something more important.🙄

BoxOfCats · 02/01/2026 04:35

You need to get a grip.

McSpoot · 02/01/2026 04:36

ClaxonRazon · 02/01/2026 04:29

I messaged him on WhatsApp, his girlfriend has posted on her socials during the day and it has delivered so they have had service.

And you also know that he is fine. So, your comment about worrying is a red herring.

PollyBell · 02/01/2026 04:39

ClaxonRazon · 02/01/2026 04:29

I messaged him on WhatsApp, his girlfriend has posted on her socials during the day and it has delivered so they have had service.

So you know he has not an accident or something

Endofyear · 02/01/2026 05:43

You do sound needy and a bit ridiculous! Leave him alone to enjoy his holiday!

FieryA · 02/01/2026 05:44

I personally would find it a bit odd if my close family didn't reply to wish me too. Though you know he is ok, so you don't have to worry on that front. Perhaps he will come back and ring you?

nadine90 · 02/01/2026 05:50

He probably had tons of messages through at midnight and decided to ignore his phone to enjoy the moment and his holiday. That’s a good thing, I’d be glad he has the sense to focus on the experience and not a screen. New year texts are all the same anyway.

Lurkingandlearning · 02/01/2026 06:11

If something had happened that prevented him from texting you, his GF or a friend would let you know. He has probably got caught up with enjoying his holiday and being with his friends al day and all evening. If he received other messages after yours, he may not have even seen your text. Try not to take it personally.

labamba18 · 02/01/2026 06:12

I think there’s a generational difference in new years too. It’s just not a big deal for me (millennial) whereas for my parents and grandparents messaging at midnight was always the done thing! I remember when they’d text or call earlier in case you couldn’t get through at 12 😂

I wouldn’t worry OP. For him he maybe the same and just not see it as such a big deal.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 02/01/2026 08:00

Is that all you are expecting a reply to? ‘Happy new year’? Only because I wouldn’t necessarily expect that warranted a response. If I was busy and received it, I would think that’s nice. Maybe I would intend to reply later when available but if I forgot I would think no big deal. I’m sure if you followed up
with an actual question (how was your new year etc) you will get a response. I’d leave him be though to enjoy his holiday…

landlordhell · 02/01/2026 08:03

It’s just got lost in the frenzy of celebrations, insta posts etc. He probably thinks he has replied. I have adult DDs and yes they did WhatsApp after midnight but if you know they’ve been active online the next day you k ow he’s ok. RELAX and catch up when he’s back.

vanillalattes · 02/01/2026 08:04

I haven’t messaged anyone to wish them happy new year - I don’t think it’s something most people care all that much about anymore.

Also, you know he’s fine if he’s on social media so there’s absolutely zero need to be “worried and upset” about it.

Ketzele · 02/01/2026 08:30

I'm a boomer and I haven't replied to my mum's HNY text yet. I will share the naughty step with your son.

Miranda65 · 02/01/2026 08:52

FFS, is this for real? This adult man is having a holiday with his partner, and yet his parent is needily stalking him because he hasn't replied to a trivial text? Try having a real problem, OP, and maybe make 2026 the year that you give your children a break from all this overwhelming attention?

Byejune · 02/01/2026 08:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Summerbay23 · 02/01/2026 08:54

My Ds (23) hasn’t either. TBH I think he’s probably sleeping off a massive hangover, still preoccupied with friends and that’s fine. I’ll probably try and call him over the weekend. He’s rubbish at responding to messages but it’s not a big deal as I did see him over Christmas.

IwishIcouldconfess · 02/01/2026 09:08

You come across as quite needy and desperate.
Please don't be that MIL.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/01/2026 09:10

I don't think I ever texted my parents on new years eve while in my 20's celebrating with my friends.

CountFucula · 02/01/2026 09:13

Why do you need a text from him?

You sound (from this post) like you’re going to be a very difficult figure in their lives - dishonest, needy and transactional. It might be that you haven’t thought all this through and are just feeling a little hurt. If you continue with this awful behaviour you will be a sidelined and sad MIL and Grandma.

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