DH told me “there’s no point in crying” after seizure

[Likelysmike]

I’ve had repeated seizures over the last 2 weeks. I’ve never had them before and I’m frightened.

i was in hospital for 2 days just before Christmas but wanted to go and see my mum on Christmas Eve. When I got there I was crying and he said “what’s the point in crying?” In front of my family.

I had another seizure Christmas Day and he told me that I just needed fresh air and to eat something and that I needed to “want” to get well

Had a further seizure 29th December and was in A&E. I was sitting there sobbing whilst he was on his phone. When he saw me he said “what are you crying for?” When I said I didn’t feel well he said “there’s no point in crying” and “stay positive”

hes just said his “life has been on pause for 2 weeks because of your illness”. Then he was saying he’s not allowed to be tired or complain about his cold because my seizures “are the main talking point”. He said “the world doesn’t stop because you might have epilepsy”

aibu to reconsider my marriage? Am I being OTT or is this entirely heartless from DH?

Agree with this.

This isn't your fault. You haven't even had a diagnosis and are understandably upset and scared.

To be blunt. If he truly cared about you (or was a decent person) he'd have some compassion, not be getting angry and trying to compete with "a cold" or "rash" or whatever. That is before we get to his aggression which is inexcusable.

Takenpictires. Go back to your mum's. Report to police and contact Women's Aid. I'd seriously be looking at divorce as he has shown he isn't "safe" and his behaviour is sadly escalating.

Take pictures, leave, and report to police. He's verbally abusive and breaking stuff in your home. He's a danger to you.

What I said about the medical Power of Attorney or your equivalent, do that immediately. He is abusive and will not make decisions in your best interests if you are incapacitated.

He's upping the ante because you've stood up to him and voted with your feet. He is desperate to bring you back into line so you stop making him accountable for his behaviour.

Doesn't excuse him not supporting you or leaving the kids in your care when you were quite frankly (albeit unintentionally due to ill health) unfit to do so. Then he stormed off and left you....way to go big fella!

Yes, you should have been a bit more sympathetic re the rash but if we are playing Top Trumps, unexpected fits trump a rash unless he has other mega symptoms too?

He is just trying to justify his behaviour and deflect from the issue at hand, which is his behaviour and that kind of vandalising and threatening behaviour is way out of hand and is in no way warranted by the situation. I hope the kids weren't there? Walk away.

"I’m genuinely scared of him right now."

Which is exactly what he intended you to be. Leave. Go back to your mum's, where you and your children will be safe.

Oh lovey. I hope you are with your parents. He’s just not safe to be around. I hope your family will swing into action and hold you and the little’uns close.

Agree with above, take photos ans report to the police today.
Leave and go to family, or Change the locks, get a ring doorbell and store a overnight bad with all important paperwork and things yoh need at a family members house.

His behaviour will continue to escalate as you aren't doing what he wants. Please don't minimise this. Get out.

Text his mum and tell her what he did and go back to your parents and stay there.

Back at my mums with DC. This is end of the marriage for me

Well done for leaving.
Please log with the police that you have left the home with your child due to domestic abuse, violence and that you were fearful for your safety.
Tell them you called your parents and they came for you.
Having this report could be useful to you going forward.
This is a bad man.
He escalated to violence to get you back in line.
I am so sorry.
If you were my daughter I would be so proud that you called me.

Thank God. Well done 👏

Hi OP,
Im so sorry you are going through this. It must be very scary and destabilising. A very close family member of mine has epilepsy and I know how awful she feels after a seizure both physically and mentally. He is being extremely selfish and unkind.
To add, her partner is incredibly supportive and would never ever dream of saying the above to her- i dont say this to make you feel worse but just so you know that your husbands response is not at all normal.

Edit- have seen your updates- well done for leaving him. He has shown you who he truly is and that he will not be there for you in hard times. Xxx

I agree with this.

At some point you and your children are going to need to be back in your own home. And because you've done the right thing at this point, by getting out and staying safe, it might potentially make it more difficult to get him to leave the joint so that you and your DCs have a secure roof over your heads.

So yes, you must make a report to the police, and create a paper trail.

To add to my previous post about reporting to police they may then arrest him and bail him away from your home address. Police can issue their own order to prevent him returning home for a month. During that time you could apply for a non-molestation order to stop him contacting or approaching you. You could apply for an Occupation Order so you remain the the family home. Don't minimise anything when reporting to Police. They have teams dedicated to DA which is very serious since the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 if you are resident in UK. Good luck

Good for you OP! What a barsted!

He's ramping it up and now being violent (shouting and pushing the telly over) to get you to be the bad guy and end it. So he can say it was your choice.

He wants out; he doesn't want to look after you; this isn't unusual.

I'm so sorry. But I'm glad you're back at your mum's. Get a shit hot lawyer.

What kind of monster reacts like this when his wife gets unwell?? So much for his marriage vows. Well done OP for leaving. You are stronger than many would be and will be strong enough to get through this xx

I would still contact Women's Aid.
They can help you with a plan to get him out and you in the house x

So glad you’re safe and so sorry you’re going through this.

Are you still married or have you decided this is not what you deserve for the rest of your life? If you stayed, why?

Yeah we’re still married. There’s a lot of complexities to it. Sometimes I wish we weren’t but then other times we are happy. It’s complex.

let your mum look after you
this man is utterly abusive

I had psyxhosis from stress and my DH was a major cause of the stress

@LucyLoo1972 I’m sorry this has happened to you.

He is saying "I dont give a fuck" with his behaviour all the time!

Glad you are strong enough to get out of this marriage. Have as good time at your mums as you can in these circumstances.