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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think Think 25 is ridiculous and sexist?!

253 replies

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 19:51

Look, this is obviously an emotional post, just a rant really.

Just wanted to get some booze at Tesco at NYE. Got ID'd, didn't have ID (ID on my phone only). So went to off licence instead.

I'm 33 soon and consistently get ID'd. People think it's a compliment and friends even congratulate me for looking young.

A full-grown woman needing permission to spend her own money is absolutely not flattering.

I'd be interested to see if women get ID'd way more than men--I bet they do. I bet it's about 75-25 women-men (who are over 18) who get ID'd.

It's women themselves who like to look young/succumb to the pressure of needing to look young. So we've created this environment where people can't tell your age. And so when they do look young they are restricted from spending their own money. Do you see what I mean? The society punishes women either way: you either choose to look your age, or give up your independence. I've never tried to look young; it's probably a genetic thing.

It's not just alcohol obviously, I got ID'd for paracetamol at Waitrose when I had a cold.

Yeah yeah, I get it, 'Why don't you just bring your ID all the time?' Look, that's not the point. The point is women already cannot live as carefree as men in so many areas of life. Dealing with period, dealing with pain, dealing with having less physical force. This is just one more thing.

It's a covertly sexist policy.

That's all, have a wonderful new year.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 31/12/2025 19:54

It's not.

Sorry you've had a rough day. I hope your night is turning out much better.

Ponderingwindow · 31/12/2025 19:57

Just carry your ID like an adult.

The retail clerk is the one who gets in trouble for making a sale to someone underage. If they want to ask for identification on absolutely every purchase it should be their prerogative. Customers should not complain about a simple step that protects hard working, low wage workers.

MyThreeWords · 31/12/2025 20:00

Seems unlikely that it discriminates against women in the way that you say. There is no social pressure for women to look less than 25.

Also, it isn't that you need to get permission to buy the alcohol. It's that shops are forbidden to sell without making appropriate age checks. You don't have any particular right for there to be a retailer that will unconditionally sell you booze, so you aren't being wronged if society decides to protect children by creating certain obligations that shops must follow..

YourMotherSortsSocksInHell · 31/12/2025 20:01

YABU

My 31 YO DS gets it all the time - if - he's clean shaven. With a beard he tends not to so much, but it still happens.

So, in that respect maybe, because men can grow a beard and instantly look older which is a bit tough but not much you can do about it unless you put a sticky on fake beard in the style of Carry on up the Khyber.

ETA: Even then it's not really a problem for DS because he generally has ID on him.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 20:01

I'd say it's the other way round if anything.

Young women can make themselves look older with makeup.

Young men, not so much.

But it's not ridiculous or sexist anyway.

Btowngirl · 31/12/2025 20:02

I always thought blokes got ID’d more from what I’ve seen!

TY78910 · 31/12/2025 20:02

YABU

I recently got ID’d in my local coop (one I’ve been going to almost every day for 4 years and the staff knew me). I didn’t bring my ID, after all I’ve been in and out of that shop plenty of times to think I’d need it but when I asked why, they said they’re now being recorded. Fair enough. I’m not making someone lose their job because… they’re doing their job.

Original poster
enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:09

You know what, without knowing the stats on men vs women, we can't tell for sure. I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man. I've tried more makeup and no luck. Also it really is a bit subjective, you can go through self-checkout and no one cares. If they are to ID why not ID everyone, why leave it at the discretion of the worker? It's infantilising really, to stand there and wait for them to scan your face and make a judgment on whether or not you look like a full-grown adult. Then the poor worker who's not 25 looks embarrassed after seeing my age.

OP posts:
Mildorado · 31/12/2025 20:12

My son used to work in Tesco when he was a student. He was instructed to check ID for alcohol and paracetamol.
Often, women would get flattered and ask him if he thought they looked young, but he didn't want to say "no, it's just policy" and upset them!
So don't worry, OP.
It's nothing to do with how you look, just try to forget about it and have a nice evening!

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 20:12

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:09

You know what, without knowing the stats on men vs women, we can't tell for sure. I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man. I've tried more makeup and no luck. Also it really is a bit subjective, you can go through self-checkout and no one cares. If they are to ID why not ID everyone, why leave it at the discretion of the worker? It's infantilising really, to stand there and wait for them to scan your face and make a judgment on whether or not you look like a full-grown adult. Then the poor worker who's not 25 looks embarrassed after seeing my age.

I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man.

Why though?

Honestly, as a mother of 3 teenage/young adult sons I think you're completely wrong.

They can't even take my weekly shopping in without digging for their ID if I've bought a bottle of wine.

RedAndGreenShouldAlwaysBeSeen · 31/12/2025 20:13

A lot of the current beauty trends pushed on women make younger women look older, if anything.

ErrolTheDragon · 31/12/2025 20:14

While I can understand why you think as you do, young men do get ID’d too. I’ve seen it happen to my DDs BF and back in the day a work colleague who found it mortifying.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 31/12/2025 20:14

When I was younger, all my male friends would be IDed going into clubs and us girls would get in because we had low cut tops on 🤭

You would rather the shop and employee risk fines (because the person themselves risks a fine) than offend someone by asking for their ID?

Self checkouts do care BTW, they flash up when ID is required and need a manual override...

Arlanymor · 31/12/2025 20:15

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:09

You know what, without knowing the stats on men vs women, we can't tell for sure. I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man. I've tried more makeup and no luck. Also it really is a bit subjective, you can go through self-checkout and no one cares. If they are to ID why not ID everyone, why leave it at the discretion of the worker? It's infantilising really, to stand there and wait for them to scan your face and make a judgment on whether or not you look like a full-grown adult. Then the poor worker who's not 25 looks embarrassed after seeing my age.

If you find it infantilising to have someone look at your face then carry your ID!

You're right, there are no stats on men v women but you decided that it was anti-women without the benefit of those stats either.

They totally check at self-checkouts too as the machine won't let you pay without a visual check from a staff member.

People's jobs are on the line if they don't check - you're being really unreasonable.

I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man.

And that's just total bollocks isn't it?

Maybe go and work in a shop - see life from the other side rather than mithering about people who are doing their job and not offending you in any way.

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:15

I work in a shop that does think 25 i would say i ask more males then females. A lot of men grow facial hair for this exact reason

slashlover · 31/12/2025 20:15

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:09

You know what, without knowing the stats on men vs women, we can't tell for sure. I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man. I've tried more makeup and no luck. Also it really is a bit subjective, you can go through self-checkout and no one cares. If they are to ID why not ID everyone, why leave it at the discretion of the worker? It's infantilising really, to stand there and wait for them to scan your face and make a judgment on whether or not you look like a full-grown adult. Then the poor worker who's not 25 looks embarrassed after seeing my age.

I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man.

As someone who's worked in retail for over 20 years and IDed hundreds of people, that's nonsense. Do you really think I'm more willing to risk a big fine/getting written up/losing my job for a woman? Challenge 25 has been around for almost 15 years.

I've also been IDed in my 30s, what's your solution?

Mum4MrA · 31/12/2025 20:16

The daft thing is that the legal age to buy alcohol is 18, so even a 25 year old has been able to buy alcohol for 7 years. Does anyone know why 25 was chosen for the campaign?

PollyPlumPeach · 31/12/2025 20:17

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 20:01

I'd say it's the other way round if anything.

Young women can make themselves look older with makeup.

Young men, not so much.

But it's not ridiculous or sexist anyway.

Exactly

Muddlethroughmam · 31/12/2025 20:18

This is such a non issue.

I'm 32 and I get asked for ID for everything. And I mean everything. Scratch cards, Red bull, Cigarettes, Booze, I was even asked for ID at the cinema a few months ago 😂

I'm very short and have a young face... I expect to be asked for ID... So I carry my ID with me.

People are literally just doing their jobs, The repocussions for a retail staff not asking for ID and getting it wrong are tremendous, they're usually recorded and are pulled up if the till picks up that they're not regularly asking for ID.

CuteOrangeElephant · 31/12/2025 20:18

I never get ID'd anymore. Wish I was!

soupyspoon · 31/12/2025 20:18

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 19:51

Look, this is obviously an emotional post, just a rant really.

Just wanted to get some booze at Tesco at NYE. Got ID'd, didn't have ID (ID on my phone only). So went to off licence instead.

I'm 33 soon and consistently get ID'd. People think it's a compliment and friends even congratulate me for looking young.

A full-grown woman needing permission to spend her own money is absolutely not flattering.

I'd be interested to see if women get ID'd way more than men--I bet they do. I bet it's about 75-25 women-men (who are over 18) who get ID'd.

It's women themselves who like to look young/succumb to the pressure of needing to look young. So we've created this environment where people can't tell your age. And so when they do look young they are restricted from spending their own money. Do you see what I mean? The society punishes women either way: you either choose to look your age, or give up your independence. I've never tried to look young; it's probably a genetic thing.

It's not just alcohol obviously, I got ID'd for paracetamol at Waitrose when I had a cold.

Yeah yeah, I get it, 'Why don't you just bring your ID all the time?' Look, that's not the point. The point is women already cannot live as carefree as men in so many areas of life. Dealing with period, dealing with pain, dealing with having less physical force. This is just one more thing.

It's a covertly sexist policy.

That's all, have a wonderful new year.

Im drinking wine now, so Im sort of agreeing with things you're staying, sort of

Which means I am no reliable barometer. So therefore YABU

slashlover · 31/12/2025 20:18

Mum4MrA · 31/12/2025 20:16

The daft thing is that the legal age to buy alcohol is 18, so even a 25 year old has been able to buy alcohol for 7 years. Does anyone know why 25 was chosen for the campaign?

Because it's easy for a 16/17 year old to look 18, more difficult to look 25. It introduces a buffer for staff, that's why it was changed from Challenge 21.

If your ID shows that you're 18 then you can buy the alcohol.

Original poster
enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I have nothing against people doing their job, but am not happy about the policy and how it's executed. Just ID everyone, 25 or 85. Don't force the worker to make a judgment on the spot. Spare us the awkward silence.

OP posts:
Sahara123 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I was ID’d in Waitrose at the self checkout the other day, I’m a 65 year old woman !!
Oh no, wait, they were asking everyone who scanned paracetamol 🤣

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:19

Mum4MrA · 31/12/2025 20:16

The daft thing is that the legal age to buy alcohol is 18, so even a 25 year old has been able to buy alcohol for 7 years. Does anyone know why 25 was chosen for the campaign?

Because people under 18 are highly unlikely to look over 25. As there is no way of telling someones age within a few years it gives shop workers a 7 year gap. If I had my way everyone would be ID whether your 18 or 80 its the scariest part of the job.