Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Think 25 is ridiculous and sexist?!

253 replies

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 19:51

Look, this is obviously an emotional post, just a rant really.

Just wanted to get some booze at Tesco at NYE. Got ID'd, didn't have ID (ID on my phone only). So went to off licence instead.

I'm 33 soon and consistently get ID'd. People think it's a compliment and friends even congratulate me for looking young.

A full-grown woman needing permission to spend her own money is absolutely not flattering.

I'd be interested to see if women get ID'd way more than men--I bet they do. I bet it's about 75-25 women-men (who are over 18) who get ID'd.

It's women themselves who like to look young/succumb to the pressure of needing to look young. So we've created this environment where people can't tell your age. And so when they do look young they are restricted from spending their own money. Do you see what I mean? The society punishes women either way: you either choose to look your age, or give up your independence. I've never tried to look young; it's probably a genetic thing.

It's not just alcohol obviously, I got ID'd for paracetamol at Waitrose when I had a cold.

Yeah yeah, I get it, 'Why don't you just bring your ID all the time?' Look, that's not the point. The point is women already cannot live as carefree as men in so many areas of life. Dealing with period, dealing with pain, dealing with having less physical force. This is just one more thing.

It's a covertly sexist policy.

That's all, have a wonderful new year.

OP posts:
slashlover · 31/12/2025 20:20

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I have nothing against people doing their job, but am not happy about the policy and how it's executed. Just ID everyone, 25 or 85. Don't force the worker to make a judgment on the spot. Spare us the awkward silence.

Edited

So what's your solution?

I'd be happy if the American way of ID everyone, no matter their age was introduced. It would save so much hassle and people kicking off.

Lonelycrab · 31/12/2025 20:22

I wish I looked young enough for this to be a problem

Original poster
enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:22

slashlover · 31/12/2025 20:20

So what's your solution?

I'd be happy if the American way of ID everyone, no matter their age was introduced. It would save so much hassle and people kicking off.

Show quote history

My solution too, just ID everyone. Gives the worker one less job as well.

OP posts:
youalright · 31/12/2025 20:22

If someone posted a picture of themselves could you guess there exact age would you be willing to risk your job on your answer and a large fine and the risk of a criminal record how sure would you be and you have about 5 seconds to make your decision

TheCurious0range · 31/12/2025 20:22

Is anything I think young lads are more likely to get ID'd than young women. Women can wear make up etc and it can be easy for a teenage girl to make herself look older. Less simple for a 17 year old boy.

sillylittlerabbit · 31/12/2025 20:23

This is not the hot take you think it is.

And if they ID’d you when you were in your 60s, and refusing the sale if you didn’t have ID, you’d be on here ranting at how stupid that is, too.

You have a personal hang-up about looking young for your age. That does not mean it’s an anti-feminist conspiracy.

JDM625 · 31/12/2025 20:23

It's a covertly sexist policy I disagree!

DH has been asked for ID 3x at our local Tescos when I've been with him. He is 52, balding, grey and I'm a few years younger! I've haven't been asked for years, so clearly must look much older than him😬

We both carry our drivers license in our wallet/phone/purse so its never been an issue. I don't leave the house without it, because my credit cards/cash are also in there.

MannersAreAll · 31/12/2025 20:23

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:09

You know what, without knowing the stats on men vs women, we can't tell for sure. I just suspect the worker would be more comfortable asking a borderline-case woman than a man. I've tried more makeup and no luck. Also it really is a bit subjective, you can go through self-checkout and no one cares. If they are to ID why not ID everyone, why leave it at the discretion of the worker? It's infantilising really, to stand there and wait for them to scan your face and make a judgment on whether or not you look like a full-grown adult. Then the poor worker who's not 25 looks embarrassed after seeing my age.

It's at the discretion of the worker to ask because they are the one facing the fine if they sell to someone underage.

If you regularly get ID'd then you carry Id. It's not difficult. I did it until I was 30. My DS is 28 and still gets ID'd regularly so carries ID with him.

BohoGarden · 31/12/2025 20:23

The rule was put in to uphold the law and stop youngsters buying alcohol.

Small inconveniences for other people seem worthwhile in this case and men get asked too.

It must be a right PITA for retail staff who must get a mouthful because of it often from people who are too busy/important/touchy/impatient to just flash a card. It's them I feel sorry for.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/12/2025 20:23

I think I probably IDed more women than men in my time but only because girls wearing a lot of make up can be any age from 13-35 and it can be really hard to tell. Men tend to look older with facial hair but there are plenty of 25+ blokes who can't grow any!

Mmimmyokay · 31/12/2025 20:24

I do kinda agree.

My DD is 27 and gets ID'd constantly.
My DS is 20 and since growing in some facial hair never gets asked.

TheCurious0range · 31/12/2025 20:24

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:22

My solution too, just ID everyone. Gives the worker one less job as well.

Show quote history

That only works with a national ID card (which I'm not against but lots are), otherwise you end up with my 86 year old neighbour not being able to have a glass of wine with her pub roast because she doesn't drive and doesn't have a passport.

ChronicallyMum · 31/12/2025 20:24

It literally is as simple as carry ID with you.

MannersAreAll · 31/12/2025 20:25

A smaller shop locally adopted a policy of Id'ing everyone.

It caused so much hassle - people got very very arsey about it - they actually no longer have an alcohol license. Too much hassle.

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:25

Am I the only one who carries id all the time as I think if im in an accident the hospital will be able to identify me quicker or is that just me

Katemax82 · 31/12/2025 20:26

As a checkout girl I always ended up IDing people in their 30s. Unfortunately I'm so obviously old I always get self checkout staff immediately pushing the "clearly over 25" button. They would probably still do so if there was a "clearly over 40" button!

ManyPigeons · 31/12/2025 20:27

I’m 30 and also get IDd everywhere. Doesn’t bother me that much tbh. My husband is my age and definitely gets IDd less… but he does sometimes get asked still.

It’s also regional - in London I’m asked all the time. In Yorkshire nobody asks.

We’re not restricted from spending our money we are restricted from buying age-restricted items without proof of eligibility. Put your licence in the back of your phone case and issue is solved.

soupyspoon · 31/12/2025 20:27

The problem is it a) hasnt stopped youngsters getting alcohol for those that want it and b) its too expensive for them anyway, they're not interested, they're interested in much quicker substances like ket or weed (cue all the people denying weed is worse than alcohol on the developing teen brain)

LostittoBostik · 31/12/2025 20:27

It’s annoying. Then suddenly, one day, it stops happening.

BillieWiper · 31/12/2025 20:27

I never got id'd. I know plenty of men who have done though. The average fourteen year old girl could easily pass for 18, whereas many boys that age look like primary school kids.

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:28

Katemax82 · 31/12/2025 20:26

As a checkout girl I always ended up IDing people in their 30s. Unfortunately I'm so obviously old I always get self checkout staff immediately pushing the "clearly over 25" button. They would probably still do so if there was a "clearly over 40" button!

Ive worked in retail from 16 to now (nearly 40) and the older I get the younger everyone else looks so i definitely ask older people now then I use to

ManyPigeons · 31/12/2025 20:28

TheCurious0range · 31/12/2025 20:24

That only works with a national ID card (which I'm not against but lots are), otherwise you end up with my 86 year old neighbour not being able to have a glass of wine with her pub roast because she doesn't drive and doesn't have a passport.

Show quote history

She could do what I do - Citizen’s Card from the Post Office. £12 and valid photo ID.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/12/2025 20:28

Katemax82 · 31/12/2025 20:26

As a checkout girl I always ended up IDing people in their 30s. Unfortunately I'm so obviously old I always get self checkout staff immediately pushing the "clearly over 25" button. They would probably still do so if there was a "clearly over 40" button!

A surprising number of people thought the self serve tills didn't need age checking! They didn't realise I was there at the kiosk pressing the override button and genuinely thought you could go through the self serve without any form of age check.

I did sometimes apologise to people on the self serve, if I pressed the over ride button really quickly (if they were obviously way over 25) and tell them that I'd checked them over thoroughly, just for their own vanity.

slashlover · 31/12/2025 20:29

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:22

My solution too, just ID everyone. Gives the worker one less job as well.

Show quote history

Then you would still have been refused.

Garroty · 31/12/2025 20:29

These things are about balance. Serving underage teens alcohol is harmful to them. Policies like Think 25 reduce that harm. The harm caused to women who look younger than they are is proportionate because 1) it's minor, and 2) it can be completely mitigated by carrying ID.