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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Think 25 is ridiculous and sexist?!

253 replies

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 19:51

Look, this is obviously an emotional post, just a rant really.

Just wanted to get some booze at Tesco at NYE. Got ID'd, didn't have ID (ID on my phone only). So went to off licence instead.

I'm 33 soon and consistently get ID'd. People think it's a compliment and friends even congratulate me for looking young.

A full-grown woman needing permission to spend her own money is absolutely not flattering.

I'd be interested to see if women get ID'd way more than men--I bet they do. I bet it's about 75-25 women-men (who are over 18) who get ID'd.

It's women themselves who like to look young/succumb to the pressure of needing to look young. So we've created this environment where people can't tell your age. And so when they do look young they are restricted from spending their own money. Do you see what I mean? The society punishes women either way: you either choose to look your age, or give up your independence. I've never tried to look young; it's probably a genetic thing.

It's not just alcohol obviously, I got ID'd for paracetamol at Waitrose when I had a cold.

Yeah yeah, I get it, 'Why don't you just bring your ID all the time?' Look, that's not the point. The point is women already cannot live as carefree as men in so many areas of life. Dealing with period, dealing with pain, dealing with having less physical force. This is just one more thing.

It's a covertly sexist policy.

That's all, have a wonderful new year.

OP posts:
TheCurious0range · 31/12/2025 20:31

I've worked in lots of bars and none would accept citizen card as they are too easily faked

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:31

Look, I get the makeup thing--but doesn't that prove my point really, that more women than men use makeup, for what? For beauty standards. For very sexist beauty standards.

Anecdotes of men vs. women, who gets ID'd more, don't really prove anything. If I were a worker I'd ID everyone to save myself the trouble of judging. But, I would definitely be more afraid of a man getting upset that they got ID'd than a woman.

Yes, bringing ID is a simple solution, but then again, it's either a physical copy of your passport or DL. Well, not everyone has these. Yes again you can argue for the simplicity of getting these, but they cost something, don't they? Why should a person who needs paracetemol or a kitchen knife be prepared to spare £100 for a passport or £34 for a DL? Again, yes, in practice, most people have these. But in principle? Why?

If you asked for my solution, well, maybe some optional, opt-in national ID. Not a fan of the potential abuse of this, of course.

Imma drink my wine now.

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 31/12/2025 20:33

I agree about the LD and pSSPORT Tthing, they do cost money and we're not required to carry them

I have my driving lecne with me because I just carry it but I dont have to or shouldnt have to

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:34

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:31

Look, I get the makeup thing--but doesn't that prove my point really, that more women than men use makeup, for what? For beauty standards. For very sexist beauty standards.

Anecdotes of men vs. women, who gets ID'd more, don't really prove anything. If I were a worker I'd ID everyone to save myself the trouble of judging. But, I would definitely be more afraid of a man getting upset that they got ID'd than a woman.

Yes, bringing ID is a simple solution, but then again, it's either a physical copy of your passport or DL. Well, not everyone has these. Yes again you can argue for the simplicity of getting these, but they cost something, don't they? Why should a person who needs paracetemol or a kitchen knife be prepared to spare £100 for a passport or £34 for a DL? Again, yes, in practice, most people have these. But in principle? Why?

If you asked for my solution, well, maybe some optional, opt-in national ID. Not a fan of the potential abuse of this, of course.

Imma drink my wine now.

Have you been around many women. Women's behaviour is often way worse then mens. Men will rape and stab you (not in this situation) but women will have tantrums

FOJN · 31/12/2025 20:34

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I have nothing against people doing their job, but am not happy about the policy and how it's executed. Just ID everyone, 25 or 85. Don't force the worker to make a judgment on the spot. Spare us the awkward silence.

Edited

You're the one making it awkward. The staff member is just doing their job and most people don't take it personally and start a thread about it as if their whole day has been ruined. The policy is to cover the retailer against prosecution not to make your life harder or infantilise you.

If you are consistently getting asked for ID then save yourself some hassle by taking your ID with you. Stop making a big deal out of nothing.

Cadogan66 · 31/12/2025 20:35

I am so tired of faux outrage re: sexism & women getting offended over absolutely nothing. The problem in this situation was solely you, OP. Carry your ID on you like an adult and you’ll never have a problem - if you drive your license should with you 24/7 anyway!

I got IDed whilst buying glue yesterday and I’m well into my 50s. Nothing to do with sexism, simply store policy. As my teen DD would say… ‘it’s really not that deep’

Arlanymor · 31/12/2025 20:35

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:31

Look, I get the makeup thing--but doesn't that prove my point really, that more women than men use makeup, for what? For beauty standards. For very sexist beauty standards.

Anecdotes of men vs. women, who gets ID'd more, don't really prove anything. If I were a worker I'd ID everyone to save myself the trouble of judging. But, I would definitely be more afraid of a man getting upset that they got ID'd than a woman.

Yes, bringing ID is a simple solution, but then again, it's either a physical copy of your passport or DL. Well, not everyone has these. Yes again you can argue for the simplicity of getting these, but they cost something, don't they? Why should a person who needs paracetemol or a kitchen knife be prepared to spare £100 for a passport or £34 for a DL? Again, yes, in practice, most people have these. But in principle? Why?

If you asked for my solution, well, maybe some optional, opt-in national ID. Not a fan of the potential abuse of this, of course.

Imma drink my wine now.

But you don't carry your ID anyway, so how would a free opt-in work?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 31/12/2025 20:35

I disagree, I ask far far far more young men than I do young women - why ? coz I am a woman and I can figure out their ages very well, and secondly i have a dd and I know what she looks like as an over 25.

WhamBamThankU · 31/12/2025 20:35

I’m 37 and still get ID’d at least 4 times a year. It’s not a compliment when you don’t carry your ID! My partner however who is exactly the same age has a beard and so hasn’t been asked for id in over a decade.

BashfulClam · 31/12/2025 20:36

Ok,you sound batshit. when I worked in retail we were advised to always err on the side of caution and I asked just as many makrs as females. I didn’t care if they kicked off. I had a guy get angry when he wanted fireworks but he looked really young and I asked for ID. He kept saying ‘I’m 23 ffs!’ Eventually I said ‘well congratulations you don’t look it!’

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 31/12/2025 20:37

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I have nothing against people doing their job, but am not happy about the policy and how it's executed. Just ID everyone, 25 or 85. Don't force the worker to make a judgment on the spot. Spare us the awkward silence.

Edited

And then you'd have all the 80 year olds crowing on about it being ridiculous because they are clearly old enough...

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:38

BashfulClam · 31/12/2025 20:36

Ok,you sound batshit. when I worked in retail we were advised to always err on the side of caution and I asked just as many makrs as females. I didn’t care if they kicked off. I had a guy get angry when he wanted fireworks but he looked really young and I asked for ID. He kept saying ‘I’m 23 ffs!’ Eventually I said ‘well congratulations you don’t look it!’

This always makes me laugh when people kick off and its always im 19 ffs and your like so your not 25 so I was right to ask

CatsandOatcakes · 31/12/2025 20:38

I'm not sure how this would work but maybe we should all have to show ID, regardless of age. Level the playing field.
Nobody is offended and retail and hospitality workers are not punished because the have to play the difficult game of guess the age.

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:39

WhamBamThankU · 31/12/2025 20:35

I’m 37 and still get ID’d at least 4 times a year. It’s not a compliment when you don’t carry your ID! My partner however who is exactly the same age has a beard and so hasn’t been asked for id in over a decade.

Why wouldn't you carry Id if you know you get asked still thats on you.

herbalteabag · 31/12/2025 20:39

I id people for Think 25. Remember, it's not about looking old enough to buy the product, it's about the shop worker being confident that you are 25. As a woman over 50, the honest truth is that, to me, 25 year olds and 33 year olds don't look much different. I don't mind asking a man or a woman for id if I need to, it's the same to me, and I probably ask about the same for each. It is actually true, when I think about it, that the oldest people I have asked have been women, but it is only because those people looked exceptionally young to me.

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:40

CatsandOatcakes · 31/12/2025 20:38

I'm not sure how this would work but maybe we should all have to show ID, regardless of age. Level the playing field.
Nobody is offended and retail and hospitality workers are not punished because the have to play the difficult game of guess the age.

Oh yes, this is a much better solution. Yes.

OP posts:
Catladywithoutacat · 31/12/2025 20:40

Agre and also constantly get asked and refused alcohol it’s been like 10plus years since I been 18

TroysMammy · 31/12/2025 20:40

A few years ago at the Post Office I wanted to buy a stamp and a lottery ticket. The cashier asked my age and I truthfully said 36 years old. The man behind me let out a snort of amusement. She served me. At 5ft, slimmer than I am now, hair tied back wearing shorts and a t-shirt from a distance with crap eyesight maybe I looked 16 but as close as I was to her I doubt it.

Eyeshadow · 31/12/2025 20:40

I get I.D’d all of the time - so I make sure to take my ID if I’m buying alcohol etc.

It takes 2 seconds to flash your ID at them.

Yes it can be a pain if you don’t have it but it’s not the end of the world.

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:40

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 31/12/2025 20:37

And then you'd have all the 80 year olds crowing on about it being ridiculous because they are clearly old enough...

Exactly it will always be the fault of the minimum wage worker. People just don't take personal responsibility anymore and like to blame others for there mistakes

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/12/2025 20:41

Mildorado · 31/12/2025 20:12

My son used to work in Tesco when he was a student. He was instructed to check ID for alcohol and paracetamol.
Often, women would get flattered and ask him if he thought they looked young, but he didn't want to say "no, it's just policy" and upset them!
So don't worry, OP.
It's nothing to do with how you look, just try to forget about it and have a nice evening!

Indeed. I got id-ed to receive a bottle of champagne delivered by courier today.

I'm 67...

pinkperm · 31/12/2025 20:41

I hated having to ask for ID when I worked in a supermarket. You have to ID everyone who you think could be under 25, and there were times I ID’d people who turned out to be years older as I just wasn’t sure and it can be hard to guess someone’s age just from looking at them for 2 seconds. I would say it was harder to tell with men than women.

The women who turned out to be older than 25 were usually flattered and said I’d made their day. Sometimes men would get arsey about it.

Is it really a big deal? I’m sure it will stop soon and you’ll be wishing you looked 25 again.

Thejackrussellsrule · 31/12/2025 20:41

My son constantly gets ID'd, he's 25 next month, last year he had to get his ID from the car, to buy suncream of all things! We're still baffled as to why you would need UD for suncream. He's able to fill his car with fuel, but needs ID for an energy drink (age 16 ).

youalright · 31/12/2025 20:42

Catladywithoutacat · 31/12/2025 20:40

Agre and also constantly get asked and refused alcohol it’s been like 10plus years since I been 18

What a dilemma how could you possibly solve this issue that you're creating 🤔

justpassmethemouse · 31/12/2025 20:42

But the argument is that makeup makes people look older in the cases of 16-17 YO girls, how is that upholding a sexist beauty standard for women to look younger?