Another short-term relationship ended...why? :(

[buzzheath]

I'm almost 34. Have a good life, job, hobbies, my own flat etc. Don't want kids but would love a long-term partner.

Another relationship where I was in love has ended. He ended it. We were in a small argument and he got up to try to leave and I was really emotional, crying a lot etc. Next day he said I blocked him from leaving and stood in front of the door and this crossed boundaries and made him feel unsafe.

Im about 5 foot. He's a lot bigger and stronger than me..ofc I apologised and I don't have form for this, it was just an emotionally heightened situation. Feeling so bereft and sad. Is this fair?

Im about 5 foot. He's a lot bigger and stronger than me

What does this have to do with anything?

Are you saying he would have a right to physically move you just because you're smaller than him?

I think when a relationship turns sour for whatever reason, it's best to end it.

Well did you stand in front of the door?

He’s describing his perception. Only the two of you know exactly what happened.

If it was a small argument, why were you so emotional? Why did you try to stop him leaving? Have you ever physically struck him? It’s true that women are in more physical danger from men overall but it is certainly possible for women to hurt men physically. Has that happened before?

Try writing another post from his point of view. You don’t have to post it.

I was really emotional, crying a lot etc. Next day he said I blocked him from leaving and stood in front of the door

being objective, this sounds like you were trying to emotionally manipulate him, is this how things usually go when you have a disagreement with partners?

It’s not unusual for people to want space if there’s an argument, maybe if he’d left and cooled down it could have been calmly discussed the next day?

He may have viewed you using emotion as a manipulative factor to prevent him leaving.

Perhaps you need to manage your emotions better so you cant be perceived as being manipulative?

He probably felt unsafe as you were blocking the way and he couldnt leave unless he physically touched/moved you. Don’t blame him. Huge over reaction to a small argument and if the roles were reversed I’d run a mile, sorry

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, unfortunately fair or not we don't control how others feel, your size is irrelevant.
Perhaps time to understand why you had such a reaction to a "small argument" that can be unsettling to some.
Youre absolutely right to be disappointed and hurt, life can be hard. Focus on you and doing things for you that you can build a fulfilled life. A partner should be the cherry...not the cake. Good luck x

Did you block him from leaving?

If so, what was he supposed to do - manhandle you? It sounds very manipulative, like you wanted the situation to escalate.

Do/did you get this emotional often with him, or with other boyfriends?

I don't have form for this, it was just an emotionally heightened situation.

But you've done it now. So you now have form for it. I'm guessing that he was imagining every other argument you two would have, and didn't want the drama. Also, smaller women do abuse men.

OP, I think you could take this opportunity to get some counselling and look into why you react like you do.

Another relationship where I was in love has ended.

This rings massive alarm bells for me, I'm afraid, along with the crying a lot over a minor argument.

From the sounds of it he most likely wanted to break up with you anyway for other reasons, possibility due to your heightened emotions. Did he orchestrate the argument?

A lot of men are cowardly when it comes to breaking up with women they are dating, a lot of them will act poorly in attempt for women to break up with them, so they are not the bad guy. However this one wins the prize for being the biggest wet blanket. You shouldn’t have blocked him from leaving but to say he feels unsafe around a much smaller 5ft woman is rather pathetic of him. I guess it granted him the perfect excuse though.

Dating isn’t about fairness, no one is entitled to a relationship and anyone can break up with a person for any reason. He isn’t interested and you’re unlikely to get to the bottom of what exactly is going through him mind, so for your own sanity I’ll accept his decision and do your best to move on. It’s a new year tomorrow, think of it as a new start.

I think you need to dig into why a small argument made you really emotional and cry a lot. That's hard work that not many people will want to deal with.

You're also in the wrong headspace if you think dating comes down to 'fairness'.

I'd take some time out from dating, work on yourself, go back in six months when you're in a better place.

If it was a small argument, why were you very emotional and crying? If it was a short term relationship, maybe you were overinvested too quickly and this has put him off? Is this a pattern of behaviour that you perhaps need to address?

It sounds like maybe he used the sitiation as his way out. How was your relationship overall, is there a chance he might have found you a bit too needy or wanting things he isn’t able to give?

Op as pointed out above lots of contradictions here. Also if it’s always happening, then a good an honest look at yourself might need to happen.

I also think that him ‘feeling unsafe’ around you is a bit pathetic tbh. More of an excuse.

Exactly. He needs to just admit he’s just not that into her, doesn’t fancy her, not compatible for X, Y, Z… Whatever his true reasons.

Feeling unsafe. Christ.

How long had you being seeing him @buzzheath ?And why did you get emotional and crying over a small argument.
It's difficult to give advice with so little detail.

Some of you are being very unfair to this man. Are you not aware that men can be emotionally and physically abused by women?

And why are you calling a man who didn't want to resort to physically moving a woman, and doesn't want that to happen again, a "wet blanket"?

https://www.tcd.ie/news_events/articles/2025/male-vulnerability-still-ridiculed-in-contemporary-societies-making-it-difficult-for-abused-men-to-seek-support/

What an unpleasant post. This man hasn’t ghosted this woman - he’s been upfront following an argument and said he wants to end the relationship. There’s nothing cowardly about that.

I don’t suppose he felt at risk of being physically assaulted but it is possible to feel unsafe in a situation where someone has lost control of their emotions.

Why were you so emotional and trying to stop him from leaving if the argument was small? The fact you are short doesn’t mean it’s ok to behave unreasonably like that. I’m not sure why you are wondering ‘why’ when he’s already told you

With all due respect you sound like someone with a very sheltered life.

Someone going absolutely batshit over a small argument might be an indicator that they have some issues, it isnt wildly outlandish to feel unsafe (you dont know his history).

If OP is acting emotionally unstable, blocking his exit, not allowing him to leave - these are not the actions of a self aware rational person.

So, a woman has physically blocked a man from leaving her flat. She is crying hysterically. Maybe there was some screaming/shouting? Begging?

What is he supposed to do - physically move her? And what's she going to do then - accuse him of physically abusing her?

I'd want well out of that, as well. Doesn't matter about the size of the women, I would be feeling very unsafe going forward.

He can end the relationship for any reason. It doesn't matter if you find the reasons fair or not.

If you did block his exit from the situation, you can't claim it's fine because you're five foot. That's not fair and I can see how he'd be uneasy around you.

You don’t no OP at all or how reasonable or unhinged her behaviour is, you have zero clue whether or not he was right to feel unsafe. And his feelings don’t make him a wet blanket, he was up front with her - he didn’t like how she behaved in that argument and he doesn’t want to deal with it again, which is fair enough wether you are a man or a woman.