Cafes should have 2 lines...

[Mysterian]

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

M&s should have 2 queues…one for those who know how to use their phone and one for people to use cash. I’ll die on this hill!

Two lines, or queues, in an ideal world but they wouldn’t have the staff, sadly. If there was a capacity, queue one for food with drink, queue two for drinks (plain) and queue three for drinks (complicated).

Can I add an AIBU please! AIBU to expect my Americano to be filled to the top please! An Americano, by its very definition, is a black coffee. The number of times I’m asked if I want milk and even when I say no there is usually still an inch or more left from coffee to rim! Cue, going back to get it topped up.

What about people using a card? Do we choose which queue based on whether it's a quick beep with card, or whether we're going to fumble around looking for said card?

Omg 😂😂 I thought I was BU recently, stuck in a long queue at a motorway services Costa, getting a coffee for my tired DH (the one driving), baby asleep in the car and we wanted him to stay that way. Stuck behind a family ordering all the Terry's orange faffacinos and adding cakes to their order while I had a face on 😂

Not their problem! But if I could make the world revolve around me...

I thought this when I lived in an area near Wimbledon! Was saying excuse me to people to get through a crowd waiting to cross the road to the tube stop. Road cordoned off by a bouncer. Meanwhile I was just trying to walk around the corner without crossing, to get home from the supermarket. Some tourist made a comment about why I was allowed to push through, I said "because I actually live here!"

The complicated coffees only take an extra 30 seconds tbh

By I actually lived this yesterday. Coffee shop at the station. Only one person ahead of me so I thought “I’ll have time to get my tea before the next train”. Oh no, the woman in front wanted some convoluted coffee with 15 different modifications. I could feel my blood pressure rising and thought of this thread.

Fortunately the woman at the counter was switched on, took my order over the top of the woman’s head while she negotiated with her toddler which cookie he wanted, and I made my train with seconds to spare.

Cash is king….another hill I’ll die on!

Haha! Unless it’s my lovely old late dad, who liked using up his coins “because they’ll appreciate it in their tills for change” and would tip out a pile and carefully count out the right amount for the tea and cake!

That is so sweet! Bless him

Oh yes, all that barista-faffing….

On a first trip to Majorca over 10 years ago now with a friend, it was brilliant to find plenty of cafes, where you could just sit down and a waiter/waitress would bring you a cup of very good filter coffee. Quickly!

I didn’t see one Starbucks etc. - I dare say it’s awash with them now, and all their caramel spiced lattes and other abominations.

Petrol stations. You come out from paying and buying sweets, I am waiting to use the pump you're car is parked at. You proceed to take off your jacket put it in the back, put the sweets somewhere in the car that seems to take hours get in, then get out to get your keys out of the jacket get back in start car put on seat belt