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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cafes should have 2 lines...

337 replies

Mysterian · 31/12/2025 12:13

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
StopThePigeonNow · 31/12/2025 14:43

Diamondsbutnoknickers · 31/12/2025 13:31

Forget coffee shops, we need hot chocolate shops. Where you can choose the country of origin. Want something with hints of berry try this one or how about a pure chocolate shot? Do you want hand whipped double cream on that or a shot of hazelnut?

Forget hot chocolates being classed as "luxury" because they have a bit of squirty cream and a few slightly stale marshmallows or got forbid it's made from melted Cadbury buttons.

There is a specialist coffee shop by me that sells every coffee you can imagine. I dont drink coffee but it looks amazing. They sell a few different teas. The "luxury" hot chocolate? Galaxy instant.

Show quote history

https://www.chocolate-bar.co.uk/

This one is nice near me. 😋

Chocolate Bar | All Day Cafe Bar | Leah's Yard | Sheffield

Chocolate Bar is an all day cafe bar specialising in craft chocolate and everything that pairs with it. Located in Leah's Yard, Sheffield.

https://www.chocolate-bar.co.uk

TheGrinchWasHere · 31/12/2025 14:43

And a line for people who know what they want to order and another line for those people who bizzarely only make up their mind when it’s their turn to be served and ask a million questions…

janeandmarysmum · 31/12/2025 14:45

I want a separate car park for people who can actually reverse park reasonably swiftly, and who don't go in and out of the space multiple times and who seem to pause directly across the road for a rest and a fag.

IMBananas666 · 31/12/2025 14:47

I stopped at a Starbucks at a casino in Las Vegas that didn't have two lines, but they did have two separate pick up areas. I was there for a convention, and the crowds were huge, line was long. I only ever order drip coffee with a splash of cream. I don't do the cold drinks with whipped cream, etc. The line moved quickly because the baristas were awesome and worked at top speed. I had just finished paying when my coffee was set at a separate pickup area, not even a minute later. I got some sour looks from people waiting for their drinks. I wish there were two separate lines, but it seems that the more elaborate drinks are more popular.

Flowerlovinglady · 31/12/2025 14:48

Let me know when you find somewhere that does a really good cup of tea. I am a tea drinker by choice but when I'm out I am often disappointed by the dirty bathwater that is usually served up so opt for a coffee.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 31/12/2025 14:49

Mysterian · 31/12/2025 12:13

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

I agree. In fact I agree so much..

Cafes should have 2 lines...
justpassmethemouse · 31/12/2025 14:49

Clefable · 31/12/2025 12:17

Ordering a standard cup of tea in a cafe is weird and this is a hill I will die on. I can lob a teabag in a cup at home but I can’t make a fancy shmancy coffee so I’m ordering one of those! Going to the effort of going to a cafe just to have a plain cup of tea is crazy behaviour. Shouldn’t be allowed. Or only for people over the age of 80.

Grin

Ah so one time I was trying to get home and had a 40 minute wait at the station (think big city nightmare, too many people). I had been on the go all day, had a headache and just wanted the day to be over! So to pass the time, I found the Costa in the station, ordered a crap cafe tea and curled up like a frazzled mouse. It was probably the cosiest thing I could do given the circumstances. And it was bloody lovely.

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 31/12/2025 14:52

Clefable · 31/12/2025 12:17

Ordering a standard cup of tea in a cafe is weird and this is a hill I will die on. I can lob a teabag in a cup at home but I can’t make a fancy shmancy coffee so I’m ordering one of those! Going to the effort of going to a cafe just to have a plain cup of tea is crazy behaviour. Shouldn’t be allowed. Or only for people over the age of 80.

Grin

THIS! Yabu, OP

ifIwerenotanandroid · 31/12/2025 14:53

Portakalkedi · 31/12/2025 12:25

Agree, I'd like this everywhere. Especially in supermarkets where some shoppers seem surprised that they have to pay at the end, and spend 5 minutes looking for their purse, then another 5 minutes putting it away in the right compartment BEFORE moving away from the fecking checkout, while the cashier and I (and the whole queue behind me) look daggers at them. Twats.

This used to be even worse in the old days, when someone would pack all their shopping away carefully, then reach into theiir handbag & get out... a chequebook and pen - and a guarantee card to go with it. You can imagine the delay with that.

Recently I was stuck at the supermarket, next in line behind a couple who'd finished their shop but were arguing with the cashier about using a money-off voucher which wasn't working for some reason. This supermarket sometimes gives amazing vouchers, so I assumed it was for a lot of money, but after 5-10 minutes of back & forth, it turned out to be worth... 25p. If I'd known that at the beginning, I would've given them the 25p in coins just to get rid of them. They were completely oblivious to the queue behind them, in their pursuit of 25p.

WhatASmashingBlouseYouHaveOn · 31/12/2025 14:58

I wish counters serving ice creams (I mean real ice cream, not soft serves) at popular places would employ more than just one person to serve the ice creams. I stood in a queue once and there were about 15 people waiting, the queue literally didn't move one bit. I gave up in the end.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 31/12/2025 14:59

Flowerlovinglady · 31/12/2025 14:48

Let me know when you find somewhere that does a really good cup of tea. I am a tea drinker by choice but when I'm out I am often disappointed by the dirty bathwater that is usually served up so opt for a coffee.

Edited

Sadly true. Nobody ever has the combination of decaff-plus-flavour tea I have at home - I've started to wonder if I could take my own teabag & just get some hot water but pay the price for tea.

Oh, & in the States they never seemed to use hot enough water for tea, though some places had a good selection of teabags.

nomas · 31/12/2025 14:59

I hear you. I had a free Coke bottle voucher from
Costa, it was a bit mad waiting so long for my transaction which took 10 seconds.

Youdontseehow · 31/12/2025 15:06

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 31/12/2025 12:14

Same for bars that serve cocktails. A line for drinks that takes 10 mins each to make and a line for everyone else.

Yeah this. A new bar opened up locally and was an independent so we really wanted to support them. Went in one night and there was only 1 staff member and she was making 4 cocktails. It took us exactly 22 minutes to get a beer and a red wine! It closed down in less than a year.

GrumpyButOk · 31/12/2025 15:06

AllPlayedOut · 31/12/2025 12:45

He performed a literal miracle in order to avoid being stuck with only plain water at a wedding so he’d definitely be Team Caramel Latte.

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😂😂

NeverHadHaveHas · 31/12/2025 15:06

I said this exact thing when I made the mistake of going into a Starbucks at Center Parcs. Absolutely filled with people who look like it’s their first day on earth waiting until they get to the front of the queue to decide what to drink then ordering a potion with 15 ingredients. There should be a ‘no more than two ingredients’ line and a ‘ridiculous concoction’ line.

JohnWayneorJesus · 31/12/2025 15:12

zanahoria · 31/12/2025 14:35

I want a slow queue in the supermarket for customers who want to chat with the checkout staff

Edited

We have one of these in our nearest Morrisons. It specifically encourages people to chat.

There is also a dedicated checkout that will let children scan the shopping.

Livpool · 31/12/2025 15:18

upstairsdownstairscardboardbox · 31/12/2025 12:16

Oh God I want 2 lines in Post Office, Bank and Airports - one for us and one for the people who literally hatched from an egg this morning and do not understand money, tickets or being fucking well ready when it is your goddamn turn Graham! 😡AARRGGGHHHH

Yes to this! Also a queue for people who want to chat and those who don’t. Everyone seems to talk to me. DH said I have a friendly face ha

myhaggisblewup · 31/12/2025 15:19

nothingcomestonothing · 31/12/2025 12:29

Can we also have two lanes on pavements, one for people going somewhere and one for people who want to dawdle, text while dawdling, stop and point out something random to their companion, search in the bottom of their bag for something while standing in the middle of the path, stop and have a long chat with someone going the other way, or let their yappy dog's lead get tangled up in a different yappy dog's lead? Thanks.

ALL of this makes me feel stabby, I'm not nice person as a result with idiots, esp the blasted yappy humans and their irritating dog leads. Just fuck right off, middle of an empty field would be great.

Carodebalo · 31/12/2025 15:21

You’re onto something OP, and look at all the other ‘two lanes’ suggestions :) I completely agree with you too, life is just too short!

janeandmarysmum · 31/12/2025 15:21

justpassmethemouse · 31/12/2025 14:49

Ah so one time I was trying to get home and had a 40 minute wait at the station (think big city nightmare, too many people). I had been on the go all day, had a headache and just wanted the day to be over! So to pass the time, I found the Costa in the station, ordered a crap cafe tea and curled up like a frazzled mouse. It was probably the cosiest thing I could do given the circumstances. And it was bloody lovely.

Show quote history

Costa tea is surprisingly nice.

zanahoria · 31/12/2025 15:24

Flowerlovinglady · 31/12/2025 14:48

Let me know when you find somewhere that does a really good cup of tea. I am a tea drinker by choice but when I'm out I am often disappointed by the dirty bathwater that is usually served up so opt for a coffee.

Edited

The only decent places are those that serve it in a pot as it is the best way to make tea.

Even they do not provide the essential tea cosy that I use at home.

GrumpyButOk · 31/12/2025 15:28

yorkshiretoffee · 31/12/2025 14:10

How about a 1 minute queue? If your order will take less than 1 minute (assuming staff engagement), you join that queue. If your order takes longer but you joined that queue, you pay double (or, better, you pay for the person behind).

Airports I would have a loyalty scheme. You get a stamp on your card for every time you are well organised, when you have 4 stamps you get to go to a special area for organised people.
Or as they have it some places, everyone is sidelined into a "get organised" area and when you are ready, you take your position in the queue rather than approaching the security area and then deciding you need to take off all your clothes. The organised could just bypass that area.

Subway, well, I'm a bit scared of Subway.

Would you consider standing as an MP? I have a vote currently going unused

Tulipsriver · 31/12/2025 15:32

I'm pretty sure they would just prioritise the line of people wanting more expensive drinks than the tea line anyway (why would you regularly bother paying for a cup of normal tea when you could so easily pop it in a flask).

If I'm out, I'm going to order something I don't have easy access to at home.

HarmoniousHumbug · 31/12/2025 15:47

Is there an actually any evidence that Jesus drank hot chocolate? 🤔