Cafes should have 2 lines...

[Mysterian]

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

As a tea expert... can you recommend a brand of nettle tea? DD got a free sample with her Christmas present (of tea) but would prefer it in bags rather than loose leaf

Why are you buying tea in a coffee shop and then complaining about people quite rightly buying coffee? Its seems like you are wasting everyone elses time. Go to a tearoom. Problem solved.

Because tea is on offer presumably. Maybe you think there should be special hot chocolate shops.

I'm not a massive herbal drinker but Pukka or Yogi are the ones I tend to go for when I do. I don't know do either brand do nettle on its own but they both definitely do mixes with nettle in them. Yogi Happy Belly has nettle and Pukka Radiance also has nettle. I haven't tried to happy belly but the Pukka one is lovely. It has peppermint and fennel in it as well as the nettle.

You sound really boring and dull. Spice up your life abit

That's a really weird perspective on life where you define people's personality based on their drink of choice.

Not sure about tea vs designer personalised coffee, but there should definitely be a separate queue for people who are just grabbing some food or drink from the shelves, do not want any hot drinks, and just hope to quickly pay and go.

Can we have two escalators going in each direction?

One for people who are able to keep moving when they get to the top and the other for people who get to the top then immediately stop and stand there a while wondering where/what to do next while people are piling up behind them.

Ditto for shop exits.

Ta.

There's a place reserved in hell for those kind of people alongside all the people who use the "pay at pum" and go into the kiosk to pay!

There is. It's called using the app

I used to work in a cafe and hated making the teas!
Coffee: super easy, 10 seconds through the machine and warm the milk up at the time. The emptying/filling/clunking the portafilter in was always really satisfying. Usually 3 jugs on the go for different milk types. Skoosh of syrup if wanted. One mug.
Tea: pot, teabags with fiddly tongs, hot water machine separate from coffee machine. Find mug and saucer. Decant milk into stupid tiny milk jug.

And then the cleaning up after was an arse as so much more crockery.

Give me a decaf caramel latte with oat milk to make any day!

Having 2 queues at bus stops wouldn’t make any difference to how quickly the bus sets off though. The bus wouldn’t leave until everyone in the queue was on no matter how quickly/slowly they took with the driver.

This used to piss me off in M&S cafes but now they have the order on the touch screen things and your order is bought to your table, it’s much better. The queues used to take ages because of people getting coffees.

How about one line for people who want to complain about the price of the very non-essential cups of coffee they are voluntarily choosing to buy and one for the rest of us who accept that the price of a cup of coffee/tea/meal is made up of more than just the cost of the ingredients

People who come out of petrol stations, get to their car then stand at their door putting their receipt and card back in their wallet, then get in the car, put wallet in bag on seat, put seatbelt on, turn car on, adjust their rear view mirror, change the radio station, adjust the AC, check blind spots for 2 minutes. Jesus just get in your car and go!!

Also people who walk out of shops that open on to a pavement and then stop dead. Don’t look either way, don’t do what they need to before stepping out just step right into your path totally oblivious to the world around them.

Your OP is brilliant! Have you thought about writing?

Even the tea shops seem to have the steam engine mocha/ chock/ espresso/ flat white machines as some people just can’t bring themselves to drink tea, maybe they should keep out of tea shops and does anyone ever think about the coffee drinkers who just want a straightforward cup of coffee.

But at least you'd be out of the cold/rain while waiting for the faffers.

I recently I happened to be in Tesco at a much earlier time than usual and realised I was in the twice-weekly quiet hour that they hold for people who suffer from sensory overload. 9 to 10 am on something like Wednesdays and Fridays - hopefully they still do this as it was genuinely quiet and just brilliant.

Sadly now in London, no such thing exists. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got to the bus stop first or not, the person who arrived last generally pushes on first.!!! Ho hum!

I agree. Touchscreens (and online apps) are a game changer in cafes and restaurants. I can't wait for more places to install them.

this is spot on

Really? That’s terrible. Thank goodness for Northern bus stop manners.

But surely you can go to a TEA shop or a tea house that does that for you? Problem is that tea drinkers go to coffee shops expecting a variety of teas and the knowledge to go with it. It's like going to a brewery bar asking for a wine list. They'll probably have wine, but that's not what they are there for.

Edited typos

That would be great if the staff in tea shops actually had the knowledge about how to prepare different types of tea. Unfortunately, they usually don't.