Cafes should have 2 lines...

[Mysterian]

...one for people like me who want sensible drinks like a cup of tea, and one for those who want freaky complicated things requiring bizarre steampunk looking machinery that take as much as 45 minutes to prepare. Take your order for a wombat milk frappy-mocha foam with cream and splash of smugness syrup and get out my way.
2 lines. One with a sign saying "Normal" above it and one saying "Can't Understand Normal Tea Stuff" overhead.
I sometimes have a hot chocolate, but without the la-di-da stuff like cream and chocolate powder. Like John Wayne or Jesus would have had.

Sounds like someone's been sniffing lines.

John Wayne or Jesus - 😂

Same for bars that serve cocktails. A line for drinks that takes 10 mins each to make and a line for everyone else.

There should be separate lines for people who have their money or debit card ready to pay, and those that have their wallet at the bottom of their bag and will take forever to locate it, open it, decide between cash and card etc...

Oh God I want 2 lines in Post Office, Bank and Airports - one for us and one for the people who literally hatched from an egg this morning and do not understand money, tickets or being fucking well ready when it is your goddamn turn Graham! 😡AARRGGGHHHH

And a line for Guinness too.

@Baital - I suppose this is a less aggressive way of saying the same thing 😂

Ordering a standard cup of tea in a cafe is weird and this is a hill I will die on. I can lob a teabag in a cup at home but I can’t make a fancy shmancy coffee so I’m ordering one of those! Going to the effort of going to a cafe just to have a plain cup of tea is crazy behaviour. Shouldn’t be allowed. Or only for people over the age of 80.

I want one for people who haven’t chosen their cake when there are only 8 choices and faff about deciding.

OMG, yes. I just want a cold drink and a piece of cake, I don’t want to be queuing behind all the crazy fuckers who want those weird and time-consuming concoctions.

And another for those who just want a glass of Coke and a panini?

Instead of going to a cafe as in Coffee shop, maybe you should go to a Tea shop...
https://www.etymonline.com/word/cafe

Oh a separate line at Subway for people who have never been or have come down from the Planet Zog.

’What type of bread do you have? Is there a list of toppings? Oh it’s up there. What size are the sandwiches? Oh they’re not sandwiches?’ And so on.

I'm generally going to a cafe for a yap with a friend rather than for the type of refreshment, and I don't drink coffee but do like tea, so.... 😄

I once found myself, at a motorway services Costa, behind a woman buying NINE different fartarsey beverages - all permutations of coffees with syrups, fake milks, hot chocolate with cream and stuff in addition - so each was made entirely separately. I seriously wanted to deck her.

I want a supermarket for people who have spatial awareness and are considerate of others, and one for everyone else.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone got hit on the head on their way to the post office.

Our old local post office had a machine where you could get stamps and post UK parcels self-service. It saved a lot of listening to idiots asking stupid questions while waiting in line.

Our new local has no machine and also acts as an amazon delivery point so every second person in the queue wants to pick up an Amazon parcel without their ID number.

I've just come back from a walk round a common that has a mini cafe/kiosk. I wanted a nice warm drink but heard the guy in front ask his wife (Or possibly mistress?) if she wanted a caramel latte, so I gave up and went for my walk. The day was just too short to wait for philanderers to have their drinks made.

I live in France where we have a similar problem in bakeries, particularly on Sundays or Bank Holidays or today, NYE, when some people just want bread, but others are choosing multiple fancy cakes which have to be packed into boxes. One queue for the quick mundane stuff, and another for those who want cakes ( or cakes and bread), PLEASE.

Not a bad idea but YABU to say line instead of queue.

Miaow.
Just forget the nice warm drink and have a saucer of milk instead.

Agree, I'd like this everywhere. Especially in supermarkets where some shoppers seem surprised that they have to pay at the end, and spend 5 minutes looking for their purse, then another 5 minutes putting it away in the right compartment BEFORE moving away from the fecking checkout, while the cashier and I (and the whole queue behind me) look daggers at them. Twats.

@Clefable having a cuppa and some lovely cake is my treat when I'm out 😊 and yes I will die on that hill Lol

No need for that in am Irish bar. Irish bar staff will pull the Guinness, leave it to settle and move on to the next customer, serve them, top up the first Guinness and finish serving the first customer.

I had a major culture shock when i first went to an English bar and discovered the bar staff would only serve one customer at a time!!

Can we also have two lanes on pavements, one for people going somewhere and one for people who want to dawdle, text while dawdling, stop and point out something random to their companion, search in the bottom of their bag for something while standing in the middle of the path, stop and have a long chat with someone going the other way, or let their yappy dog's lead get tangled up in a different yappy dog's lead? Thanks.