New puppy...

[Doggynono]

I am not a dog person never have been...DP loves dogs all four kids love dogs. I am allergic to dogs some I can tolerate. Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog. We got a 'hypoallergenic' breed I went and visited without taking antihistamine twice and all was fine. Anyway we're a week into having the new puppy and my allergies are flaring up. I just feel crap with them sore eyes, sneezing, a little bit wheezing thankfully no rashes. I'm trying not to be round her too much as I feel miserable have been taking 2 antihistamines a day but they aren't doing much. DP is raging at me he keeps throwing me dirty looks when I sneeze so there is no way I can say about Rehoming. He's also huffing about having to sleep downstairs with the dog while we crate train but again he was the one who wanted the dog not me. Plus I don't want to do that on the kids and dog.

any tips on what I can do here? Do hepa air purifiers work? I hoover, mop and damp wipe every day and she isn't allowed upstairs

Hey, just wanted to share our experience, as it was very similar to yours.

My husband is allergic to some dogs. Like you, we visited our dog a few times with no issues, but once we brought her home his allergies flared badly and it was pretty miserable for him. We actually took her back to the rescue centre with the intention of rehoming her, but my husband just couldn’t go through with it.

What followed was a really tough few months for us - lots of discomfort and stress - but over time things did improve. These days he doesn’t get symptoms from her at all, unless he’s been away from her for a long time or it’s peak hay fever season (the doctors explained it like an “allergy threshold”, where other triggers can tip things over).

We saw doctors and allergy specialists and put a lot of measures in place: HEPA air filters and a good vacuum, keeping her mostly in non-carpeted areas, restricting her to certain parts of the house (not in the bedroom or upstairs, so he always had a refuge), plus regular baths and grooming, and washing all her bedding at least once a week. All of that really helped.

I’m not sure if this will make you feel better or worse. But for us, there was an adjustment over time. I do think people can adapt, but it’s also important to be realistic: it took A LOT of effort, consistency and money, and it was pretty intense for a while. That’s definitely something to weigh up too.

Also… your husband sounds like a massive dick. Absolutely nuts that he is treating you like that.

Agree. Most asthma deaths are because of poor management and not taking meds properly and regularly. Allergies really do suck, but it’s manageable in a lot of cases even with pets. My reactions to friends cats definitely damped down over time. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

Unless it is a really dodgy set up, which it possibly is, won't the breeder take her back? Any reputable breeder will be putting the welfare of the puppies first. This is just not a workable scenario. There is no way you can be on medication/ suffering with allergies for the next decade.

What a prince! 🙄

I'd re-home the dog. Then the partner.

Allergy is no joke. It's astonishing to me how many people treat it as such.

My partner was allergic to cats. I have three. He took antihistamines to start with, but over time stopped needing them. He must have developed an immunity or something? Wasn’t something we expected, but he doesn’t have a problem at all now. I hope it works out op, your dog sounds lovely.

It's him you need to re-home!

The dog is affecting your health. Money should be his last concern. He’s a dick and showing you who he is. Dump him, because this is just the first of many similar situations where you will be the bad guy if he can’t get his own way.

Have you tried a steroid nasal spray as well as the pills? You can get beconase or just the boots own, it’s far more effective than pills alone.

You went from “I am not a dog person” to “I would love to keep her” pretty quickly Op!

It looks like it was always going to be your dog, kids never really want to put the work in that is required, your husband works shifts so isn’t around so it was always going to be all up to you.

I would add a word of caution on the allergy front. I grew up always having cats, no issues. As an adult I lived in cat free houses and when I encountered cats I experienced mild allergic symptoms (itchy eyes). We had a neighbour cat that used to hang around & I had the same mild symptoms. I love cats so we got a cat.

After a few months I ended up in A&E being treated as if I had a heart attack. I hadn’t had one, it was just the allergies had got so much worse and really impacted my lungs. I had to take medication every day and use an asthma inhaler and 10 years later still have severe asthma.

There is no guarantee you & your allergies will get used to the dog.

Crates aren’t cruel as long as it’s not constant. They’re useful to keep the dog safe/restricted if recovering from an issue (in 20 years, I’ve had snapped cruciates and a broken leg, crate/playpen was invaluable). My lot choose to go in as their main bed, door is never shut unless they’re coming back from an operation)

Have you contacted the breeder re taking back the puppy? I’m going to imagine they don’t do refunds because no decent breeder would do that cross.

You don't have to pay him back. Ask him how he intends to enforce this so-called debt. He could take it to the small claims court. I bet the judge could do with a laugh.

I have asthma, and I'm allergic to both dogs and cats but have lived with both all my life. It can be managed. I use inhalers twice daily. I have a long haired heavily moulting dog breed. I react less to my breed, which sheds a woolly undercoat in clumps, than I do to short haired dogs that shed very fine single hairs everywhere. Labs, beagles, boxers all make me wheeze.

I'd recommend not sleeping with the dog in the room. I'd also advise that the allergic person does not groom the dog, particularly during allergy season or if the dog is moulting. It also has to be remembered that if you have pollen allergy, a dog can exacerbate that by bringing particles indoors on its coat. Daily grooming outside can help.

There is no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog. It is a complete con.
This mongrel in any case cannot be claimed as allergy friendly. And it is an expensive mongrel - not a crossbreed. A crossbreed is, by definition, a cross of two breeds. This one is a cross of a cross, so an expensive mongrel, with absolutely no guarantee of being a low allergy dog.

I've found that since having our cats, my day-to-day life with allergies is better. The tolerance I built up is mostly for my own cats. I am still allergic to strange cats, but not so allergic that I react around people who own cats like I used to be.

I can now sit in cars with cat owners without wanting to rip my own face off or dig my eyeballs out of my skull, and visiting small cafes or restaurants never ends with me sitting outside with streaming eyes and puffy, red skin anymore.

I used to be allergic to DD when she came home from her Dad's, where the cats originally lived, until she changed her clothes and showered, and I was always allergic to him.

The first few months of living with them were miserable for me, but due to the circumstances of how they came to be with us, rehoming them was simply not an option. If DD takes them with her when she eventually moves out, I will probably get another cat, just because of the difference they make to my life outside the house. I don't want to go back to having to ask for taxi drivers who do not own cats or avoiding taxis in case the previous passenger was a cat owner.

The HEPA air filters and twice daily vaccuuming made the biggest difference in those first few months.

Sorry no solutions, here is no such thing as hypoallergenic dog although I believe some people do adapt over time to their individual dogs/cats.
Unrelated to the dog - your partner is a prick and that is your real problem.

Ride it out. You'll become immune to a degree. I was ilke this with my parents dog. Just keep taking the antihistimines, always wash your hands after stroking, definitely do not let the dog upstairs at all, hoover twice a day> honestly, give it another 2 weeks and you'll be fine.

the only real hope for dog allergy is a pure poodle and even then it's not guaranteed. One week in please just ask the breeder to take him back and tell you husband to bugger off if he ask for the money - you are putting off the inevitable and the longer you leave it the worse for your poor pup. And if the allergy thing isn't bad enough, you already know you will be the one looking after it. Oh, and your DH sounds an arse who I'd be inclined to rehome at the same time or just tell hi you've made your choice and decided he AND the puppy need to go,

Sounds like your husband is the one that needs rehoming. 😫

Dog goes back to where it came from.

IF that's truly not an option, make it clear you're totally out of this, dog is not your responsibility and you didn't want a dog and you're clearly allergic: you will not be walking it, exercising it, grooming it, feeding it, and it will have to stay out of X room, Y room and Z room because you're entitled to breathe.

Suspect the dog will be going if you stick to that.

Your DP is a complete asshole.

How about you just tell him to fuck off?

Hopefully you will become a bit more resistant, especially as you want the pup.

More worrying is why you want a dp that treats you this way? Pressuring you into getting a puppy, getting the kids, then blaming and being unkind to you when you get ill. Pup sounds more of a keeper tbh.

Why would you think the dog has to live in a crate because they are crate training? My dog slept in a crate at night until they were out the puppy stage in case they chewed wires etc. During the day the crate door was left open so they could come and go as they pleased. Not used one for 6 years once I was confident they'd be ok.

😅😅😅🙄🙄🙄 point missed entirely.

Don't believe I mentioned the word hypoallergenic. I'm not one of the morons suggesting any dog was, I think it's all bollocks but those with brain cells should be able to work out that crossing Poodles with Spaniels is throwing the dice in the air when it comes to genetics including coat and hair type.

Having had Poodles and Cocker Spaniels if you're going to be allergic to one of them, it'll be the spaniels.

Has she been spayed? Spaying reduces an animal's allergen level. That's not to say you should feel obliged to keep the dog, but if it's only the allergy making you consider rehoming, that's worth bearing in mind.

Your DH has shown no consideration for you, and he should certainly be taking responsibility for the dog, whatever happens moving forward.

The poor dog will be traumatised if she is rehomed - if you are going to do this, do it sooner rather than later because the more she bonds with you, the worse it will be if you part with her.

The dog, no doubt, already sees herself as 'your' dog too. Even families where everyone is happily involved, usually the dog bonds primarily with the Mum (or sometimes the Dad). It's probably whomever is their primary source of food, walks, verbal praise and physical affection/presence. Dogs are very grateful, and just want to be with you!

Lots of good advice on allergies given already. Hope it all works out for you, your health and the furry addition. It is so very nice to have a dog to come home to. They're always thrilled to see you, and the feeling is mutual. They never say the wrong thing, betray any of your secrets or hold grudges.

Fingers crossed!