Moving house to sleep seperately

[SoTiredAllTheTimeHelp]

I'm a light sleeper, and my husband snores. I'm waking up nearly every night and can't get back to sleep. I'm exhausted and it's not getting better

We have a very small spare bedroom (would just about fit a single bed in) but he uses it as his office.

Would it be unreasonable to suggest moving house so we can have an extra bedroom?

Has he seen a doctor or been to a sleep clinic about the snoring? Moving house seems quite extreme if he’s not done that yet.

No, he won't go. He really doesn't like going to the doctor's

If you can afford it, then yes, definitely suggest it
Functioning on limited sleep is a joyless existence.

I’m sure you ‘really don’t like’ existing on no sleep. One of those is a choice though.

Well together you have to come to a solution, be that sorting the office out or moving. You can’t continue on no sleep.

He doesn’t get to refuse to go to the doctors when your health is suffering . He needs to tackle his snoring . Overweight? Smoking ? Alcohol ?
alternatively he loses his study or you move house . His choice

https://www.studybed.co.uk/home/

Less upheaval than moving.

I sleep in the tiny box room that used to be an office. We bought a foldaway desk that now lives by the front door. Alternatively yes move house. Sleep is insanely important. I don’t know how anyone shares a bed after 40; not only snoring and different bed times but throw In perimenopause night sweats and insomnia made me ready to murder people. (Well, person 😂).

Took me ages to persuade my DH to go about his snoring and he does go to the GP. He got a referral to the Sleep Clinic and has severe obstructive sleep apnoea.
The CPAP mask has been a game changer.
Do you hear him stop breathing and start again when he’s snoring?
He needs to get help for both your sakes. His health is at risk if he has apnoea. Certainly not doing you any good.

I bought sleep earbuds and they are really comfy to sleep in. I bought Soundcore that have an app and play white noise. You can also get noise cancelling ones. Might be easier and cheaper than buying a new house

No but getting treatment is far less dramatic and expensive. If he won't then you know where you stand in his order of priority sadly.

Then tell him he’s being extremely selfish given the impact it’s having on you.

Yes I would be sleeping separately in spare room or perhaps he could? You cannot continue with broken sleep on a daily basis.

Why should you have to move?
He needs to go sleep in his office!

Yes to two of these

Thank you, these look really good. I like how you can keep things on the desk as well.

This could be a good option, thank you

My DH wouldn’t do anything about his snoring either, but luckily we had a spare room when DD moved out.
I don’t think YABU, the Japanese used lack of sleep as a form of torture in WW2.

Thank you, I've just had a look at foldaway desks and didn't realise there were so many options (some look really nice!)

Thanks also for the bit about sharing a bed, I've felt so bad suggesting it, as I love him and don't want to upset him, but it's nice to know it's 'normal' to sleep seperately, if that makes sense!

Then he loses his office and you get to sleep in there.

His snoring is affecting your sleep badly snd he won't see a doctor? That's just selfish. Is he worried abour being told to lose weight?

Yes I've heard him stop and re-start. It's also much worse when he sleeps on his back, but that's where he gravitates to in his sleep.

It's worse if he falls asleep if he's reading/on his phone, but again, I don't know if it's positional?

Thank you, I'll have a look at these, that's a great idea

I'm not too sure, he brushes it off. I know he doesn't like the 'admin' of making the appointments, and how you can only say one problem at a time. I wish I could just make the appointment for him and make him go!

I love mine and he loves me and we have separate bedrooms. We are just not good sleepers together. He also snores, but it's not bad normally. But when he gets tiny bit of cold, allergies come up or eat more than usual, puts on some weight like over Christmas or eid... omg. I am also not perfect to sleep with to be fair.
One cannot function sleep deprived for a while. One risk is you get wuite used to the lone bed sleep. We have to make sure to have biggest bed available in hotels.
I am surprised how many women retrieve to other tiny rooms. I kept the main bedroom with the bigger bed.

We love each other much more when we both get sleep.

Wake him every time you are awake because of the snoring. He doesn't understand how much it affects you because e sleeps through it.

I can’t sleep with others as I’m a light sleeper for noise. I’d look at options around the spare room first but if you can afford to move a three bed would be sensible.