Moving house to sleep seperately

[SoTiredAllTheTimeHelp]

I'm a light sleeper, and my husband snores. I'm waking up nearly every night and can't get back to sleep. I'm exhausted and it's not getting better

We have a very small spare bedroom (would just about fit a single bed in) but he uses it as his office.

Would it be unreasonable to suggest moving house so we can have an extra bedroom?

Ah yes of course sorry I meant uncontrolled/unmonitored sleep apnea which is what his is.

OP could you get a garden office for your DH? Or a shepherds hut?

I’ve bought every ear plug on the market (I think) and none work 😢

Friends husband had the CPAP machine. Worked well. But then he had to lose a lot of weight to get the hip operation. The snoring diminished to nothing.

Maybe buy a Murphy bed with an integral desk? Would be cheaper than moving.

He doesn’t get to just refuse to fix the problem. If he won’t go to the doctor he can fix himself a futon in his office and he can be the one squeezed in there snoring away while you stretch out on the bed. This is his problem to fix. Moving house entirely because he won’t go to the doctor is absolutely insane.

Get yourself a backbone my girl.

I know this, as my FiL has continued to drive since he got his CPAP machine… but I think DH is hiding behind this as a reason not to have to consider that he may not be the prime specimen of manhood he’d like to think he is.

My ex used to say this. He soon went to the doctor about it when a new woman was involved.
i live by “if he wanted to, he would”
Buy a sofa bed and send him to sleep on that, the selfish prick.

This.

He doesn't get to keep the main bedroom if he childishly refuses to go to the doctor.

He moves into the small bedroom/ office and you move a single bed into the main bedroom.

Tell him the compromise is cheaper than divorce or moving house, and be prepared to do really put your foot down.

Going without sleep will ruin your health. Do not put up with the selfishness of this man.

If he’s not prepared to go to the dr then it smacks of him not caring very much about you at all. He should go and sleep in his study!

Or a doghouse.

Not at all, DH and I have slept apart for years, we have a very happy marriage and have only just had another baby recently!

We sleep separately. Im the snorer sadly!
We are both happy & both get a good night's sleep! In our 40s.

My husband snores, sometimes the kids in the other 2 bedrooms can hear him. They are 17 & 15 do no hope of them moving out soon so I can have their bedroom lol. So I bought a 'day bed' that looks like a sofa. I put it in dining room and we sit on it during day etc ... first night I used it i nearly cried ... cos the dog sleeps in the dining room too, shes crate trained but JESUS shes worse than my hubby pmsl. She snores, she sleep runs, she tries to dig, she lickks herself and the mattress that she sleeps on ... so its back to bedroom for me, earplugs and a swift lose my temper turn in the bed usually works. I feel ur pain, I wish I had a spare room ... kick him into his office, with a mattress and u sleep like a star lol

Had the same problem with DP. He eventually went to the GP after a night in a family room at a hotel had my DD in tears over his snoring. He got a monitor home to wear and it turned out he was stopping breathing 17 times a night! That was a wake up call for him and the CPAP has genuinely been a game changer. He needs to go, if not for your sanity then for his health.

Why should 'she' sleep in the office? He’s the problem. He’s the one snoring. He’s the one who can obviously 'sleep on the proverbial clothesline', so OP should get the comfortable bed, if only to recharge her rapidly depleting batteries!

Divorce him or buy a new house.

Even if he did a sleep study it’s likely he wouldn’t wear the sleep apnoea mask.

Snoring, especially the loud type you're describing could indicate a serious condition that definitely needs a doctor's visit.

Not visiting the doctor is being disrespectful to you, unless you and he prefer the insurance payout over being married a long time yet.

I used to snore and sleep in the spare bedroom, it seems to be a family trait. My sister (who also snores) tried reading up about it and found d a tip in one book which worked for her and does for me.

Buy some light micropore tape. Tear off about 8 cm and position it over the closed mouth, downwards, under the nose. Stick it down firmly and see if it works. Not very glamorous but cheap if it works and there are other benefits. !!! I dont need to sleep in the spare room any more.

Sent an advert to a friend recently as her BF's snoring is driving her insane too (he's currently having alot of tests)
They're Derila Ergos pillows, might be worth a look, but weight, alcohol & smoking are massive factors. However, it's ultimately his issue and it should be him in the spare room/office, especially as he is okay for you to be in there for something he needs and should get help with,very selfish attitude

Glad you had a chat. The key point for your husband to understand is that if he does have sleep apnoea, his quality of life can be vastly improved by getting a CPAP. It's made a huge difference to my husband.

And he definitely needs to be the one sleeping in the office.

Even with a CPAP it suits us to sleep separately. If you love the house it's well worth thinking about getting a wall moved or something to make your home work better for you. The cost would be so much smaller than moving. But studybeds look to me like a truly brilliant solution.

I know they don’t work for all, but just to say in case useful for anyone - my DH’s snoring was cut by 80-90 per cent by wearing the weird breathe-right nasal tape that sort of pulls the nostrils open. He says he can literally feel it is easier to breathe and now even wears them when I am not there.

as I say, obviously ymmv and I am sure doesn’t work for proper serious cases but was a v helpful solution for us (alongside a certain amount of kicking him onto his side rather than back!)

What about an extension for an additional bedroom? Possibly cheaper than a house move?

He's being very unfair on you. He really needs to get over whatever stops him going to the doc. He's severely disrupting your life, and his failure to engage with this reality is incredibly selfish of him.

He is selfish enough not to go the doctor to seek any treatment or ways to reduce snoring, so your solution is to move house? That is quite drastic! Why can't your husband at least try, given the impact it is having on you? Has he looked up any options to reduce snoring?