I would normally agree with this.
However (and I could be wrong) I think the fact it’s Reddit makes it a bit less bad?
As far as I’m aware, Reddit is very anonymous. Nobody really knows each other. It’s all just anonymous people with randomly generated usernames which they change frequently.
Sending dick pics to randoms is just that. Used as a form of release, for a quick thill. This is what I have heard from male friends, it’s not something I understand or condone. To my mind, it’s like monkeys, showing off their butts. Exhibitionist. All very primal and a bit weird, but lots of people do it (women as well, from the looks of it.)
Anyway, I’m not condoning it, but it’s different to, for example, Instagram, if he was looking at girls profiles, interacting with them, getting to know them, chatting and exchanging intimate messages and pics.
However, and I guess this is the crux of it, I am in a similar position to you, but worse.
I found out that my DH had been exchanging naked photos with an ex girlfriend. This was when we were going through a rough patch and had not had sex in a number of years (due to a birth injury, redundancy and family bereavement which all affected me badly). I guess it would be classed as an emotional affair as she lives overseas and they hadn’t seen other for many years. She did, however, book flights to come over and spend a night in a hotel with him. He cancelled this as he couldn’t go through with it.
This has absolutely destroyed me.
The “affair” went on for around 6 months in 2022. I discovered it at the time but not the extent of it. Massive fight and it all stopped.
About 6 months ago I found out the full extent of it (the naked photos and planned meeting). It just about killed me. I threw him out and he left for 2 weeks, returning to see the kids, but it wasn’t possible for him to stay where he was staying without losing his job so he came back.
He is a great dad and we are still together.
But part of me despises him.
Will we stay together? I don’t know. I doubt I’ll ever get over it and very unlikely I’ll ever be able to trust him again. But for now, for financial, logistical and various other reasons it would be pretty much impossible to split.
What I am doing though, is focusing on myself in a way that I haven’t before. I put my kids first, always, but me second. We get on well but his needs and wants are no longer something I really take into consideration.
If it gets to a point where I think I could manage without him and be happy, I wouldn’t feel bad about ending it.
Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent. What I’m saying is, basically, most men are pretty disgusting (despite a lot of women not wanting to admit it about their husbands). Most men watch porn etc and I think that’s pretty much what these threads on Reddit are. Anonymous wank fodder. If he is otherwise a good husband, don’t end your marriage over it because most guys will be doing something similar. As an anonymous release I wouldn’t like it but wouldn’t end a marriage over it. When it’s not anonymous, that’s a different thing and really crosses a line.