Who was being unreasonable?

[ForIcyGreyCat]

This made Christmas a little awkward and I was wondering who you thought was being unreasonable.

My family went to my grandparents’ house for Christmas.

My brother (26) taught our 2 year old niece to say “stinky granny” to our grandmother. Everyone thought it was funny and lightened, including her parents, so it became kind of a running joke while we were there, and all went well until the last day when my dad heard her say it.

He went on a rant and basically said that respect nowadays was lost, and that back in his days, anyone who would have taught a toddler to disrespect an elder would have gotten a smack in the face (talking about my brother), and that it is the result of mothers spoiling their sons and turning their into brats (dig at my mother).

Everyone went silent from there and it was all very awkward.

Am I unreasonable to think there was no need to start anything and that my dad was massively overreacting?

What did grandma think? How would you feel if someone kept calling you stinky all day.
Sounds like your brother needs to mature before he has any more children.

She laughed along
she didn’t seem offended
My brother doesn’t have children, that’s his niece, our other brother’s daughter x

Well he is right, it's not very respectful and I personally wouldn't be encouraging a child to name call anyone. That said I think your Dad could have handled/worded it better.

I think your Dad was overreacting but your brother was childish as fuck.

Your dad overreacted but I wouldn't have encouraged that kind of behaviour.

My brother (26) taught our 2 year old niece to say “stinky granny” to our grandmother.

If your brother actually did this and the rest of the family thought it was ok then words fail me.

Dad overreacted with his comments about snacking people, but I think he is right. I would find it very rude for a toddler to keep referring to another family member as stinky.

Lightened? What does that mean?

That is awful. Your poor grandmother - hosting Christmas and gets called names. Not just once but again and again.

Your brother is an immature twit.

Your father is cheeky blaming this on his wife?! He is an equal parent surely?

It all sounds a nightmare but the lesson should be, if a twat teaches a two year old to say rude and hurtful things, stop them.

Your brother is an idiot - how is that in anyway amusing?

Its horrible and disrespectful.

The way your dad dealt with it was awful. But it was a bloody stupid thing for your brother to do - your niece will now think it's funny to call people stinky and he shouldn't be surprised if she does this outside of your family unit - plus I don't really like 'jokes' that are at other people's expenses... even if they laugh along I am never entirely convinced that they find an insulting 'lighthearted' comment funny. Often they feel compelled to fall into line with everyone else thinking it's hilarious. I think it's rude and not funny, and I feel sorry for your grandmother.

I can’t believe all the adults in the house were ok with the 2 year old learning such disrespect. Your dad over reacted but I assume it’s his mother who’s spent however long being called stinky in her own home.

Your brother's an idiot. Your dh was reasonable to object but he probably went too far.

Why would you teach a child to say something rude? It’s not funny really.

Your brother is a knob for teaching someone else's child to insult their grandmother.

I don’t know why everyone found this funny because it’s not remotely amusing and it is rude. That said I think your dad over reacted and went overboard with the insults when addressing it.

She laughed along but she can’t have found that very funny tbh.

Brother sounds like an idiot. I’m with your dad.

It may be the case that your grandma didn’t mind (honestly I think she probably didn’t like it but went along with it because she didn’t want to spoil the day), but what about when the toddler (who now thinks that adults are amused by them calling people names) calls someone in the street or a teacher “stinky”. Or takes it a step further and calls them “ugly” or “fat.”

It’s teaching the toddler that name calling AND commenting on appearance is a valid way to get a laugh. IMO this is how bullies are made. I’d have nipped it in the bud if someone had tried this with my kids. If they’d carried on I’d have gone apeshit.

Your brother was incredibly rude. Perhaps the granny laughed along but I doubt she
enjo hearing it over and over again.

Your dad over reacted but your brother was disrespectful and rude, and so were the rest of you for going along with it. Was ‘granny’ hosting and cooking?

Sounds like the ‘joke’ wore thin after so many days and your dad had enough. Once at the beginning maybe got a laugh but continuing it grates.

As long as grandma was alright with it then he's being massively unreasonable

Wow - how could anyone possibly think that teaching a 2 year old to say stinky granny to their grandmother was acceptable. I would have left the "party" at that point. Poor granny - she may have accepted it, but I cannot believe she was happy about it. Weird family.