What is the Mumsnet consensus on P&C spaces?

[JacquesHarlow]

As per many people, I’ve been out at supermarkets and retail parks around 8 times this Christmas. 5 of those in Surrey, one in Wythenshawe, the rest in the Newcastle area.

My DCs are not toddlers any more so I don’t have the same “will the door open wide enough to take out the car seat and plug it into the pram system” dilemna.

However I have huge empathy for the mothers (and on occasion dads) who I do see doing this. There’s a lovely convenience to parking in a bay where you can pull the pram alongside, open the door wide enough, then take out the seat and baby in one go.

So why is it that on all eight occasions, I’ve seen large SUVs with a solo occupant, the majority of them women, pull into a P&C bay, walk out, and then shoot that filthy “I dare you to challenge me” look?

it is honestly fascinating to me to see how often this happens now. These folk are not in any way visually disabled or physically showing any signs of disability, although if they were, there were numerous disabled spaces available in every car park I saw this happen in.

Nope, these were people who just wanted “premium” parking. They were blatant about it. There were no elderly passengers, hidden disabilities or anything else.

Am I going to get the usual Mumsnet gaslighting of “you don’t know what a person is going through” or are we going to accept that people are CFs who want to take anything that is available to someone else in case they feel like they’re the ones missing out?

I am curious to see if the overwhelming consensus on Mumsnet is that because we had to struggle without the spaces, then NO ONE deserves to have them. That we shouldn’t make life more comfortable for mums and dads with newborns and toddlers, because those spaces really should be for everyone.

so let’s see

YABU - Those spaces shouldn’t be for parents. They should be for everyone

YANBU - Those people who selfishly park there are wrong and this is why we can’t have nice things.

Exactly this, I was blocked in so many times because I couldnt get a space. I had to drive forwarsmd with my 6 week old in my arms in the spring because it happened.

Unlike other posters who think its a nothing issue, i never said i was guaranteed a spot, but yeah if you dont have a baby or a child, you've no business being there.

I think there should be a campaign to get supermarkets to have decent size spaces.

Then the marketing tool of P&C spaces (and a marketing tool is what they are) wouldn't be necessary

Not in a position to. Being heavilly pregnant right now with pelvic issues - 6 months. Plus dd was very sick. Screamimg and crying in my arms, she was settled in the seat on the buggy before doctor saw her.

I didn't have a buggy seat that would have been appropriate for a baby that couldn't sit up yet, and a sling is risky for premature babies. So that doesn't work for everyone. And not every place has trolleys that you can put a baby in (e.g. if you're going to a shopping centre or DIY shop rather than a supermarket)

Good point. The spaces where I am are so tight. If i dont a p&c space, I risk getting blocked in

I do think the majority leave the spaces to those who need them, whether parents or those with disabilities etc. I find them really useful as I've a three door car and whilst it is only small, it means I have to open the front door fairly wide to allow dd to get out. I wouldn't park in them if she wasn't with me.

Actually, I have to admit I did once park in one out of habit without her and was mortified when I got back home and registered what I'd done. Luckily it wasn't busy so plenty of other spaces available for those who actually took their child with them and I didn't get fined or anything.

Did you not have a carrycot attachment for the buggy? Never known anyone not have a buggy or pram of some sort suitable from birth especially as they aren't meant to be in car seats that long.

There was never a situation where lugging the heavy car seat out of its fixings onto the buggy frame was easier than just using the appropriate bit of the actual pram. Tried it once and couldn't understand the attraction.

Our car seat was a lie flat so suitable in the same way as a pram, it meant I had to use the car seat if I wanted her in the pram.

I agree with this.

i don’t care. I never have. It made very little difference to me when I had small children either (possibly because every other thing was so overwhelming).

I don’t think I ever had an issue getting the baby seat out. Or if I did, I resolved it and moved on with my day.

I never got the car seat out? I always took my baby out even when asleep. Not hard to do.

They are handy if available, but I never had a problem finding somewhere to park in a quieter part of a car park if not. A couple of times came back and it was difficult to get back in or needed help, but never impossible.

I have never monitored who was using the spaces to see if they were potentially being misused. What would the point be other than winding myself up.

Never understood all the angst over them.

I didn't have a buggy seat that would have been appropriate for a baby that couldn't sit up yet, and a sling is risky for premature babies. So that doesn't work for everyone. And not every place has trolleys that you can put a baby in (e.g. if you're going to a shopping centre or DIY shop rather than a supermarket)

Surely your pram had a carrycot then? You can't just use the car seat all the time for tinies given the time restrictions for them to be in them unless you're doing very short trips to shops very close to home.

That depends on the car seat.

I just don’t think they’re a big deal. They aren’t disabled bays. They’re just a marketing tool to sell to families.

I park in one with a 6 year old which is taking the piss as I don’t need to. I am a bad parker though and like the extra space

I really can’t get worked up about them.

That's very unusual. I've heard of lie flat car seats but never known anyone have one.

I think that if you are an able bodied person on their own who parks in a Parent and Child space intentionally, when there are other spaces available, that you are just the most enormous cock womble and should be embarrassed about how lazy and inconsiderate you are.

Of course p&c spaces should be left for those who that really need them. Same as disabled spaces should be left for those with a blue badge.
Anyone who says otherwise is justifying their selfishness.
But it's not worth getting worked up over. There are an increasing number of self centered people around these days. They don't lose sleep over others thinking they are unpleasant people so you'll only wind yourself up by getting frustrated.
Do the right thing yourself as much as you can and let them show themselves up.

How would they police me as a lone person parking on one as a result of my disability whilst I was waiting for my BB?

I had to park on one yesterday as there wasn’t a BB space.

Presumably if you parked in one with a blue badge you'd be exempt from the fine.
But if you parked in one without a blue badge you'd get a fine the same as if you parked in a disabled bay without a BB.
There isn't a 'I'm waiting for my blue badge' exemption from displaying a blue badge in a disabled bay so far as I'm aware (BB holder here) so why should it be any different for any other space?

People feel pretty vile and selfish in general at the moment and I feel like using P&C spots if you don’t need them is a good example of this. But people who clearly do it will come on here and kick off about ‘why shouldn’t they do what they want’. It always gets nasty you could probably read back over them for all the different views.

A marketing gimmick.

I used them when I broke my foot and needed the extra space.

Parking spaces have been the same size for years and were absolutely fine, in the last decade the average size of cars has increased massively, should car parks have to redraw their lines every 5 years because people keep buying cars that are too big for them to park?

I makes no odds to me either way on who parks where, disabled bays are a nessacity p&c are not so as long as people aren't using the disabled spots when they shouldn't im not fussed.

As someone whos kids are grown up I dont need to use them. When I was shopping over xmas there were only p&c spaces available and I did see people using them without kids but suppose they didn't have a choice as it was the only spaces available.

It’s more likely to be a “why are you staring at me you strange person” look.
Surely the thing with hidden disabilities is that they are hidden so no, you don’t know that someone is able to walk from further away.
its a parking space, get over it.

I have a BB NOW.

Can you understand that I said “whilst I was waiting for my BB”.

I have. One. Now.

but no one said there would be an exemption for BB holders.