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Original poster

Sister is angry over a car

285 replies

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 00:35

Hi
My sister has cut me out of her life because my husband bought the same model car as her! (Different colour). My sister is ten years older than me (she’s 50). I don’t drive, I had no input into his choice of new car. We had a car accident and he needed a new one. We only seen her once a year, live totally different areas, I really didn’t see it being a problem. I heard through family she was furious so my husband contacted her to apologise and tell her it had nothing to do with me! Several weeks later I hadn’t heard anything from her so I sent her a scan picture of my 2nd ivf baby and she totally blanked me. Fast forward a year and she still hasn’t spoken to me. I met her 25 year old daughter for dinner last week and she clarified her mum is still raging and is demanding an apology off me! This is the thing I don’t understand, she is ignoring the fact I’m a non driver, it’s not like I bought the car for my use. She is trying to pin this whole thing on me. For me though this runs deeper on my part now. She has missed out on the birth of my son, ignored my 2 year old daughter, has not acknowledged the baby’s birth and she stopped her husband joining us for dinner last week, told him he’s not allowed to speak to us! I don’t even know what to think, I think the situation is as mad as a box of frogs! Advice would be appreciated thanks

OP posts:
tartyflette · 30/12/2025 14:07

Did she perhaps buy a 1956 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow?
And then you went out and bought one too?
if so, she may have a point.
But if, as I suspect, this was not the case then she is utterly stupid bonkers.

IridiumSky · 30/12/2025 14:08

Poodlelove · 30/12/2025 13:01

This is her issue and she is the one who needs to apologise.

She is in the wrong.

Nothing you can do except continue to be a good person and continue to speak to your adult niece but do not discuss your sister at all .

She will get bored.

Good luck , this is not on you or your husband .Plenty of people see on TV / newspaper advice on buying a good reliable car and that's all your husband did.

But the husband didn’t buy a ‘a good reliable car’. He bought a Range Rover. 😂

This is obviously in the UK. My analysis is that the story is all about relative status signalling. It’s part of our culture, despite how much we pretend to believe otherwise, which is also part of the culture. 🙄

Range Rovers (although we don’t in this case know which model) are mid-range to high-end cars, which whilst not usually attaining Veblen status, do have an air of ‘success in life’ about them. They are also widely known to be unreliable and expensive to maintain - it needs money not only to buy, but also to maintain and to repair these cars.

Assuming this is about status, the sister is aggrieved that she has been matched by the OP. It’s poker. The sister will probably raise next year by buying a more expensive model. I hope none of the players in this dangerous game are doing it on expensive credit: that way madness lies.

But here’s the cultural kicker: to be openly aggrieved by this plants the sister firmly in a working class category, someone who is (ridiculously) using possessions to pretend to be of a higher status than she really is. I believe the term for such people (in pre-decimalisation days 😉) was ‘two bob snobs’.

Genuinely rich people would find the perceived ‘copying’ funny, or more likely not even notice: Range Rovers? Pah! Everyone has one.

Aren’t anonymous forums fun? This could never be discussed in real life. 😄

Manxexile · 30/12/2025 14:40

Poodlelove · 30/12/2025 13:01

This is her issue and she is the one who needs to apologise.

She is in the wrong.

Nothing you can do except continue to be a good person and continue to speak to your adult niece but do not discuss your sister at all .

She will get bored.

Good luck , this is not on you or your husband .Plenty of people see on TV / newspaper advice on buying a good reliable car and that's all your husband did.

"... Plenty of people see on TV / newspaper advice on buying a good reliable car and that's all your husband did"

Sorry but are you saying there is some source out there that advises that Range Rovers are good and reliable cars?

Manxexile · 30/12/2025 14:42

BrickBiscuit · 30/12/2025 13:18

Oh dear! Is she in the know? Hopefully hers isn't one of their basket-case models that's prone to engine failure, suspension and brake problems, and electrical faults (among others). Especially if DH has done his homework and bought one of the more reliable models.

Show quote history

"... and bought one of the more reliable models."

Do JLR make any reliable cars?

SpinningaCompass · 30/12/2025 14:50

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 11:57

The car is a Range Rover! Hers is white, my husband’s is black!

How dare he buy an (overpriced) classic British vehicle! Such a copy cat.

Not.

Again. She's batshit. And your family is enjoying enabling the drama.

zingally · 30/12/2025 15:18

What a strange thing to be upset about!!

All I can think of is that there must be either "more to it", or there's some deep-seated issues at play here.

If my sister announced she'd bought the same car as me, I'd complement her on her great choice!

PizzaForBreakfast · 30/12/2025 15:20

I once was working as an assistant for someone just as bonkers who had the similar theories about a neighbour who was always copying her. She said she has to now dry her underwear in the garden during the night time only because her neighbour copied her style of knickers and she won’t let her see any of hers anymore. She stopped saying hello to said neighbour because of it.

IridiumSky · 30/12/2025 15:57

PizzaForBreakfast · 30/12/2025 15:20

I once was working as an assistant for someone just as bonkers who had the similar theories about a neighbour who was always copying her. She said she has to now dry her underwear in the garden during the night time only because her neighbour copied her style of knickers and she won’t let her see any of hers anymore. She stopped saying hello to said neighbour because of it.

Ha ha! What an opportunity missed!

She could have instead hung out the most extreme and ridiculous knickers to see what happened next. 😀

NearlyMonday · 30/12/2025 16:35

The rest of my family are a bunch of fence sitters! Don’t like getting involved even if it means standing up for me and my pregnancy, daughter etc being ignored!

So by not challenging her, they are validating her behaviour

outdooryone · 30/12/2025 17:03

You can't argue with stupid and you can't reason with crazy.

Wetoldyousaurus · 30/12/2025 17:53

I really think she’s trying to avoid meeting your 2nd (?) child. Her own fertility issues having a second sound like they left a scar and now with you having babies while she’s firmly in menopause, she probably feels very sad and angry. She could probably handle it while you only had one child (like she did), but now with more children you are doing what she couldn’t. The pain is real though of course it’s not your fault. If you do try to regain contact, try by leaving your children out of it and don’t mention them. Your children are like a red poker to her soul right now. Once she has accepted this new stage in her life and her hormones have settled down, she will probably calm down. She is ‘raging against the dying of the light’ and it’s a scary time for many women. Her behaviour is shitty but try to approach it with this in mind. Or just leave her to it till she finds her way through.

Laura95167 · 30/12/2025 18:05

If shes this upset about a car its not about the car.. id ask her

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 30/12/2025 18:07

Mon85 · 30/12/2025 11:57

The car is a Range Rover! Hers is white, my husband’s is black!

Sorry, your sister hasn't spoken to you in a YEAR because your husband bought one of the most popular cars out there?

Does she not speak to anyone who happens to have literally anything she might also have!?

Atsocta · 30/12/2025 19:19

Seems to me she needs a dr …. I would give her a Wide berth, very wide .

MoodyMargaret11 · 30/12/2025 19:55

Hah the menopause excuses!
Same as "is she neurodivergent?", "pregnancy hormones" etc.. these life events affecting many of us are not a license for such nastiness. I'd just back off or do the PP idea of a HUGE social media apology - it's perfect 😂😂😂

Alpacajigsaw · 30/12/2025 19:59

RampantIvy · 30/12/2025 13:09

Thank you.

I'm not diminishing the struggles that some women go through and I have friends who have struggled with it, but none of them behaved irrationally badly like the sister.

Show quote history

Yes exactly. It’s not a walk in the park as I know only too well myself but it doesn’t explain or excuse someone acting like this. I hate women who use it as an excuse for all sorts of appalling behaviour, it makes it hard for those who are genuinely struggling to be taken seriously.

AcquadiP · 30/12/2025 20:05

Unless, they've money to fritter away, most people choose a car based on reliability, build quality, interior space, mpg etc. They don't buy one just because their sister or sister-in-law has one! She sounds bonkers.

Grampy60 · 31/12/2025 08:45

IridiumSky · 30/12/2025 14:08

But the husband didn’t buy a ‘a good reliable car’. He bought a Range Rover. 😂

This is obviously in the UK. My analysis is that the story is all about relative status signalling. It’s part of our culture, despite how much we pretend to believe otherwise, which is also part of the culture. 🙄

Range Rovers (although we don’t in this case know which model) are mid-range to high-end cars, which whilst not usually attaining Veblen status, do have an air of ‘success in life’ about them. They are also widely known to be unreliable and expensive to maintain - it needs money not only to buy, but also to maintain and to repair these cars.

Assuming this is about status, the sister is aggrieved that she has been matched by the OP. It’s poker. The sister will probably raise next year by buying a more expensive model. I hope none of the players in this dangerous game are doing it on expensive credit: that way madness lies.

But here’s the cultural kicker: to be openly aggrieved by this plants the sister firmly in a working class category, someone who is (ridiculously) using possessions to pretend to be of a higher status than she really is. I believe the term for such people (in pre-decimalisation days 😉) was ‘two bob snobs’.

Genuinely rich people would find the perceived ‘copying’ funny, or more likely not even notice: Range Rovers? Pah! Everyone has one.

Aren’t anonymous forums fun? This could never be discussed in real life. 😄

Show quote history

Said with due respect for your husband's choice, a Range Rover is really nothing exceptional these days, it's pretty accurate that "everyone's got one". I bet I'll see a black one and a white one within five minutes of leaving my house today.
Your sister's jealousy is absolutely astonishing (and sincerely rather sad).

IridiumSky · 31/12/2025 11:32

Grampy60 · 31/12/2025 08:45

Said with due respect for your husband's choice, a Range Rover is really nothing exceptional these days, it's pretty accurate that "everyone's got one". I bet I'll see a black one and a white one within five minutes of leaving my house today.
Your sister's jealousy is absolutely astonishing (and sincerely rather sad).

Show quote history

Yup. And of the two you see, one will be waiting for a breakdown service.

Hopefully the white one. 😂

IridiumSky · 31/12/2025 11:36

shuggles · 30/12/2025 12:52

Nice. So not only is she a looney, but she also has no consideration for other road users and has bought a massive car which will cause harm to other people.

Show quote history

Never mind: You may be able to afford one one day. 😂😂😂

shuggles · 31/12/2025 11:45

IridiumSky · 31/12/2025 11:36

Never mind: You may be able to afford one one day. 😂😂😂

Show quote history

I hope I can afford one one day. But even if I could afford 10 Range Rovers, I still would not buy one.

Badbadbunny · 31/12/2025 11:51

MoodyMargaret11 · 30/12/2025 19:55

Hah the menopause excuses!
Same as "is she neurodivergent?", "pregnancy hormones" etc.. these life events affecting many of us are not a license for such nastiness. I'd just back off or do the PP idea of a HUGE social media apology - it's perfect 😂😂😂

Edited

No one is saying it's an excuse for her behaviour, but it probably IS an explanation for it.

Badbadbunny · 31/12/2025 11:55

IridiumSky · 31/12/2025 11:36

Never mind: You may be able to afford one one day. 😂😂😂

Show quote history

I can afford one, my car costs more than a RR, but I still would never buy one. Around here, they're the car of choice of the Irish (Ex) Travelling community as some kind of demented badge of honour so no one else would dream of buying one as they're all over social media with arrogant parking (if you can call it that), completely blocking roads when there's a huge gypsy wedding or funeral, going down one way streets the wrong way, ignoring traffic lights, randomly parking in disabled and parent/child bays, etc! They're called "do as you likeys" for a reason!

IridiumSky · 31/12/2025 12:26

Badbadbunny · 31/12/2025 11:55

I can afford one, my car costs more than a RR, but I still would never buy one. Around here, they're the car of choice of the Irish (Ex) Travelling community as some kind of demented badge of honour so no one else would dream of buying one as they're all over social media with arrogant parking (if you can call it that), completely blocking roads when there's a huge gypsy wedding or funeral, going down one way streets the wrong way, ignoring traffic lights, randomly parking in disabled and parent/child bays, etc! They're called "do as you likeys" for a reason!

Show quote history

How is any of that the fault of the model of vehicle? The fact the OP bought a Range Rover does not automatically make her an ignorant sociopath. (I concede that it might, but it’s not absolutely automatic 😀). The original commenter’s post was unfair, hence my mickey-taking.

One of my sons has a Range Rover (but uses his Defender more), and I owned one for about a year but did not think much of it. I swapped it for something else.

What car do you drive then? I’m a car enthusiast/collector myself and am genuinely interested.

Jinglejells · 31/12/2025 13:17

OhcantthInkofaname · 30/12/2025 01:25

Has anyone mentioned menopause?

Why? Why give unhinged people an excuse?