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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you know anyone over 60 who doesn't insist on their coffee being hotter than the sun

301 replies

Pavementworrier · 29/12/2025 09:24

I know this is a crass generalisation but I actually don't
.

OP posts:
bumblingbovine49 · 30/12/2025 08:34

I don't like cold coffee but I don't need it boiling hot at all. Just warm. I don't need my food or plates hot either . I regularly eat cold leftovers . I am 61

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 30/12/2025 08:41

No this 63 doesn't and I think some confuse how instant is mixed with 'real' coffee. I don't drink instant as I don't like it and properly produced coffee should be served at 94 degrees or it loses taste, milk 60 - 65 degrees.

Puddypuds · 30/12/2025 09:12

My mother! Every single time we go out for coffee we get the not hot enough talk. Drives me insane!

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 10:12

All the oldies I know.

RaraRachael · 30/12/2025 10:41

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 10:12

All the oldies I know.

Oldies 🙄

What qualifies somebody as an oldie?

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 10:47

RaraRachael · 30/12/2025 10:41

Oldies 🙄

What qualifies somebody as an oldie?

Being old - 70+ I suppose. 'Old' is not an insulting word, you know!

Chemenger · 30/12/2025 10:49

I regularly go for coffee/tea with a group of 10 or more women between the ages of 60 and 90. None of them has ever, in my hearing at least, complained about a drink not being hot enough, or ordered anything extra hot. Since the choice is cafetière coffee or coffee out of a bean to cup machine that adds the milk automatically extra hot isn’t really an option, mind you.

5128gap · 30/12/2025 11:02

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 10:47

Being old - 70+ I suppose. 'Old' is not an insulting word, you know!

Its not a useful one, as your post illustrates, because only you knew which group of people you were referring to.
It's also disingenuous to pretend that it has no negative connections and isn't used as an insult, or as you did when adding the cutesy 'ies', to patronise, as we all know it is.

RaraRachael · 30/12/2025 11:09

I find oldie quite insulting. Older people is fine.

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 11:15

RaraRachael · 30/12/2025 10:41

Oldies 🙄

What qualifies somebody as an oldie?

I'm guessing anyone older than her. She'll never age of course, and will always command respect.

AyUpLass · 30/12/2025 11:17

Ex barista here. Nope most older people made a point in saying they wanted it extra hot!

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 11:23

AyUpLass · 30/12/2025 11:17

Ex barista here. Nope most older people made a point in saying they wanted it extra hot!

I've been served lukewarm coffee, in those glass tumblers, it's not pleasant.
Just make a hot drink in a proper cup. That can't be hard, surely?

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 11:32

5128gap · 30/12/2025 11:02

Its not a useful one, as your post illustrates, because only you knew which group of people you were referring to.
It's also disingenuous to pretend that it has no negative connections and isn't used as an insult, or as you did when adding the cutesy 'ies', to patronise, as we all know it is.

Everyone knows which group of people I was referring to; don't be silly - you certainly did. 'Old' is not inherently a pejorative word, though, and I'm rather fond of it. I am aware that it can be used as an insult; after all, euphemisms abound. But I am old, and I'm not afraid to say so. And should I ever reach my centenary, God help the fool who puts up a banner proclaiming me '100 years young'.

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 11:35

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 11:32

Everyone knows which group of people I was referring to; don't be silly - you certainly did. 'Old' is not inherently a pejorative word, though, and I'm rather fond of it. I am aware that it can be used as an insult; after all, euphemisms abound. But I am old, and I'm not afraid to say so. And should I ever reach my centenary, God help the fool who puts up a banner proclaiming me '100 years young'.

So all the "oldies" you know want very hot coffee. That doesn't necessarily mean it's typical of their age range, any more than it would be typical of any age range or hair colour or ethnicity.

FinallyHere · 30/12/2025 11:37
  1. This is not a thing for me.

who knew people can be different.

k1233 · 30/12/2025 11:45

Pavementworrier · 29/12/2025 09:31

I don't think it's about getting older and suddenly liking it I think it's a generation thing. I try to explain to my parents that it tastes better if it's not painful to drink and they just look blank.

Luke warm coffee makes me extremely queasy. It has to be hot. It doesn't taste better when it's luke warm. I'm not 60. Unless I'm getting a cappuccino (request extra hot / volcanic) I drink black coffee and tea as, when I was a kid, I could never get the milk right. Too much and drink was ruined, not enough and it looked like mud and tasted about the same. I can drink coffee if milk is added but absolutely no sugar in coffee or tea.

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 11:48

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 11:15

I'm guessing anyone older than her. She'll never age of course, and will always command respect.

So, in your mind, someone aged cannot command respect? You have just said this! You are, I think, unaware that there is a magazine called 'The Oldie'; launched in 1992 by Richard Ingrams, who was previously editor of Private Eye. There are loads of people who aren't particularly bothered by being oldies. Strokes and folks, after all.

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 11:51

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 11:35

So all the "oldies" you know want very hot coffee. That doesn't necessarily mean it's typical of their age range, any more than it would be typical of any age range or hair colour or ethnicity.

Sweet Jesus. Reading comprehension today. I said 'none' of them.

k1233 · 30/12/2025 12:06

Lamentingalways · 29/12/2025 10:09

Haha I hit 40 and decided I would no longer drink hot drinks that weren’t actually hot. On Christmas Day I was served a coffee with hot milk, it stayed hot for 15 minutes and it made my day 🙈 the waiter got a big tip from me that day (he had also gone above and beyond for my son). Someone did tell me it scorches the coffee if it’s too hot so I don’t complain when I’m out paying a lot for a drink because I trust that they know best.

Is it a woman / mother thing? Maybe we’ve had enough of everything we eat being tepid and out drinks being warm etc because we serve everyone else 1st?

Firmly in the burn my mouth hot drink category 😂

The coffee goes through the machine. It doesn't get scorched. The milk is heated separate to the prepared coffee. The coffee won't turn bitter if the milk is actually hot, not tepid.

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 12:11

Sweet Jesus, @The13thFairy . Seriously.
You obviously didn't read your own post to which I replied! 🤣
Please check your own comprehension before insulting others'.

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 12:13

The13thFairy · 30/12/2025 11:48

So, in your mind, someone aged cannot command respect? You have just said this! You are, I think, unaware that there is a magazine called 'The Oldie'; launched in 1992 by Richard Ingrams, who was previously editor of Private Eye. There are loads of people who aren't particularly bothered by being oldies. Strokes and folks, after all.

No. I never claimed that at all.
Once again, your reading comprehension!
Sweet Jesus.

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 12:15

Goodness me, this is hard work this morning!
😂😂😂
Good luck with your coffee everyone, I'm off now, I may demand some hot coffee on my trip, who knows 😉
Happy New Year!

UnNiddeRides · 30/12/2025 12:33

OrangeAxolotyl · 30/12/2025 12:11

Sweet Jesus, @The13thFairy . Seriously.
You obviously didn't read your own post to which I replied! 🤣
Please check your own comprehension before insulting others'.

Edited

The OP’s question was does anyone know anyone over 60 who doesn’t want their coffee extremely hot? If the reply is ‘all the over 60s that I know’ or words to that effect then none of them want it v hot.

zingally · 30/12/2025 14:49

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 29/12/2025 13:42

I’m sorry you got that response. I think it’s just some leftover bitterness about the OP’s posts, including the start and title of this thread, feeling a bit ageist (as many have pointed out, yes, they like drinking lava, but they have always drunk lava - kind of like “We Have Always Lived in The Castle” but less gothic and with more coffee). I think it’s wonderful that you volunteer at Age UK, as more than others, people in care homes or who have children and spouses predeceasing them can get lonely and depressed (I mean, how would any of us feel if we could no longer live independently AND everyone we knew was dying or dead???). And in fact, untreated depression is believed to contribute to death in care homes, and up to 40% of residents have it. Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK260567/#:~:text=Untreated%20depression%20is%20a%20major,27

So, I actually do think it’s great you’re taking your 95-year-old friend for an outing; it sounds like a lovely time and I’m sure you gain just as much by being her friend as she gains by being yours ♥️

Thank you for this.

Yes, she's a really lovely lady, and we've always had a good laugh together. Age is just a number! She comes out with such lovely pearls of wisdom, things I'll remember forever, long after she's no longer with us.

I still can't see how referring to a lady who is older than me as "an older lady" is some great sin - but I guess @CurlewKate is just a miserable troll.

Oldraver · 30/12/2025 14:52

Ive never liked hot coffee or any drink for that matter (though realise tea needs to be made with boiling water)

At work I will put water from the dispenser in my cup before hot water from the urn