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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you know anyone over 60 who doesn't insist on their coffee being hotter than the sun

301 replies

Pavementworrier · 29/12/2025 09:24

I know this is a crass generalisation but I actually don't
.

OP posts:
RaraRachael · 29/12/2025 15:24

We were out for coffee this morning and both commented on how nice it was to have hot coffee for a change

RaraRachael · 29/12/2025 15:25

We were out for coffee this morning and both commented on how nice it was to have hot coffee for a change.

My parents always used to heat the dinner plates but I don't do that.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 29/12/2025 15:35

5128gap · 29/12/2025 14:59

I can see that causing much confusion. Imagine accidently patronising or sneering at a person and then finding out they were actually under 60, or worse still, inadvertently affording them respect, maybe even befriending them, then finding out they were over 60?
I'd not be able to live with myself.

I imagine now that we have such insanely advanced plastic surgery, two things will happen.

  1. Clear physical differences between the rich and the poor will become even more developed, as the rich will actually be able to look like they’ve stopped aging, whereas the poor will still visibly age. It was a different ballgame when the more aggressive work you had done at any age, the more you looked like a stretched canvas with a wrinkly neck and immobile eyebrows
  2. Eventually we will treat age as we do pregnancy, where you don’t mention it unless for some reason you’re ABSOLUTELY sure the person is pregnant (so would only mention age if the other person does first, or you’re at their milestone birthday, etc)
Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 29/12/2025 15:38

Unexpectedromantic · 29/12/2025 14:09

I have one you are welcome to. His arse is objectionable in its own right. He can clear a room in a single fart. We once got a call from an offensive weapons design company to come study him for inspiration into crowd dispersal/control measures.

He is also 13, grumpy and has perfected the judgmental side eye.

I will feed him Brussel sprouts and tie him to a lamppost in the opposite wind direction to his rear...... for you to come and collect him.

(JK of course. He is all mine, and I love the bones of him, and I will fight to the death if anyone even looks at him sideways.

I am on the slippery slope to 60, can't stand coffee, hot or otherwise. I am a fan of tea with THREE, yes THREE, sugars, which people always feel the need to comment on as if I was advocating stoning children in the street.

Edited

Maybe I can just foster the rear end of your objectionable dog . The front end sounds rather too cute , unless he also drinks coffee hot enough to strip the fur from a badger , in which case I will take the lot .

LongDarkTeatime · 29/12/2025 15:48

@FFSToEverythingSince2020 it certainly is ✈️🦅 Our household also observes Towel Day 😉

OrangeAxolotyl · 29/12/2025 15:55

LongDarkTeatime · 29/12/2025 13:18

Fortunately for me they have a sense of humour unlike many Mumsnet users
used to have an elderly relative who’d make (mildly) offensive comments, when called out they’d say ‘But I was just joking’ or ‘Can’t you take a joke?’
Is that you @Pavementworrier ?

😂😂

OrangeAxolotyl · 29/12/2025 16:00

5128gap · 29/12/2025 14:59

I can see that causing much confusion. Imagine accidently patronising or sneering at a person and then finding out they were actually under 60, or worse still, inadvertently affording them respect, maybe even befriending them, then finding out they were over 60?
I'd not be able to live with myself.

Oh my god, how stressful. Combined with the fact that more people of 60+ are in the workforce than ever before and could even be serving you coffee.
Perhaps everyone could wear their DOB on a badge, which turns bright red when you reach 60.

LongDarkTeatime · 29/12/2025 16:15

OrangeAxolotyl · 29/12/2025 16:00

Oh my god, how stressful. Combined with the fact that more people of 60+ are in the workforce than ever before and could even be serving you coffee.
Perhaps everyone could wear their DOB on a badge, which turns bright red when you reach 60.

Would this be in the style of Logan’s Run … or does asking that show my age 😂

OrangeAxolotyl · 29/12/2025 16:16

LongDarkTeatime · 29/12/2025 16:15

Would this be in the style of Logan’s Run … or does asking that show my age 😂

😂😂😂

dynamiccactus · 29/12/2025 17:03

Tell anyone who likes overly hot tea or coffee that it's a shortcut to oesophageal cancer. The risk of it has certainly stopped me drinking it too hot! In fact I tend to drink more coffee than tea because it's not as hot when it comes out of the machine (and unrelated, I don't need sugar in it but I do like sugar in tea so I drink less tea).

Breadcat24 · 29/12/2025 17:05

over 60 here and

  1. do not drink coffee
  2. tend to forget I have made a hot drink so drink it somewhat delayed (not dementia just doing lots of stuff at the same time)
redfairy · 29/12/2025 17:06

I'm 58 and need my drinks hot. My daughter even keeps a kettle to make my drinks as I don't think her instant water machine is hot enough. I get a lot of eyerolling 😆

OrangeAxolotyl · 29/12/2025 17:07

dynamiccactus · 29/12/2025 17:03

Tell anyone who likes overly hot tea or coffee that it's a shortcut to oesophageal cancer. The risk of it has certainly stopped me drinking it too hot! In fact I tend to drink more coffee than tea because it's not as hot when it comes out of the machine (and unrelated, I don't need sugar in it but I do like sugar in tea so I drink less tea).

That study was based in Iran. Other factors not considered.

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 17:09

Pavementworrier · 29/12/2025 09:43

Yes, explaining how best to experience something is fairly normal.

Yeah, but you can't explain something when you are clearly wrong

NOT yet 60, but hot drinks/food need to be HOT. Kind if why they're called HOT drinks.

mustytrusty · 29/12/2025 17:10

I hear you OP. I work in a coffee shop and if anyone asks for a ‘very hot’ coffee it’s always an older person. I put it down to them being more likely to sit in and drink, and therefore take more time over their coffee, so giving it a chance to cool in the wife rimmed cups we use.

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 17:13

RampantIvy · 29/12/2025 09:45

Why did you write this?

Because it was funny?!

@5128gap I laughed!

Inthewrongtimezone · 29/12/2025 17:15

GarlicRound · 29/12/2025 12:14

Is there a particular reason why you don't just ask the server for some cold water?

That's honestly never occurred to me! 😂

I usually have water in my bag, so I just use that. I never thought to ask for some.

IainTorontoNSW · 29/12/2025 17:21

I'm nearly 70 and I grew up on instant coffee (with a splash of milk) and teapot tea (NEVER gad-awful tea-bags). Plus occasional hot cocoas.

All my drinks were/are as hot as possible. I like to sip while I do my morning cryptic or a couple of sudokus or brain-teasers. Sometimes just a drink that will last as I read the online newspapers or a book.

Even when my life switched to cafe-bought espressos and, later on, a home life with a premium home coffee machine, I continued ordering or making VERY, VERY hot cuppas.

Standard temp coffees to me are tepid and unenjoyable no matter what well-meaning baristas or so-called aficionados tell me is the right 'enjoyable' level of heat.

I know what I like and what pleases my palate.

Too set in my ways ... I know! (Another opinionated boomer!)

Funderthighs · 29/12/2025 17:24

saraclara · 29/12/2025 13:39

No they don't.

I've stood in many a queue at coffee shops and never heard anyone ahead of me ask for extra hot! Never mind 95% of them!

That’s hilarious. The coffee shop where I work is in a town centre and visited by all age groups. Trust me, there are very few people who don’t request an extra hot coffee. It’s a pain in the backside as no one wants to be accidentally scalding the milk when they’re steaming but we like to keep our customers happy.

MrsCarson · 29/12/2025 17:27

I think it comes from the many years parenting where we lived on luke warm coffee tea and meals. Finally we can have everything hot so we want it very hot.

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 17:30

Loopylalalou · 29/12/2025 10:39

What a moo you must be.

I think you lost your sense of humour along the way!

Bikergran · 29/12/2025 17:30

Yes, my SIL, eats and drinks everything tepid or cold, takes forever to finish her meals and is incapable of making a HOT drink. If she makes me one, I have to sneak it into the microwave.

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 17:32

5128gap · 29/12/2025 10:48

I expect its my age.

😂😂😂

MySilentLions · 29/12/2025 17:32

Denim4ever · 29/12/2025 11:51

What a mean spirited comment

It’s sarcasm, directed at the OP’s sweeping ageism.

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