To refuse to drive even though I MAY be under limit?

[Didntwenearlyhaveitall]

I’ve known ‘D’P for around 9 months. We don’t live together.
I’ve divided my time over Christmas driving between him and my friends and family,
Today we’d arranged that I would stay at his.
Things have been a bit tense lately due to a hopefully temporary restriction on his driving ( health related), but today has been great.
We have been happy staying in and chilling, cooking together, lots of laughter. For the first time this Christmas I’ve been able to have a couple of alcoholic drinks.
Around 10 minutes ago his adult son phoned him for a lift. Clearly he couldn’t do this but instead of saying no, or suggesting a taxi he seemed to expect that I would do it.
I said no, I had had alcohol and would not be driving.
He started off trying to persuade me, saying I probably wasn’t over the limit, he would have done it if it wasn’t for his medical problem, etc.
I have been driving for many years and I never drive after drinking alcohol. I could possibly have had a glass or two of wine over Christmas, but I didn’t as I feel that there is no safe limit.
Things progressed and he is getting more insistent and unreasonable.
I’ve shut myself in the bathroom to get away and gather my thoughts.

I’m so glad to read your update. Well done to you and your son.

Thank you for the updates, @Didntwenearlyhaveitall . Glad you're on your way home.

Please tell your son that an auld Scottish wumman reckons that he's a star.

Thank you for the update.
Glad to hear your son was able to pick you up so don't have to spend the night where you don't feel safe. A good idea of his to swap cars.

I’m so glad you got out of there and are safe OP. And you’ve obviously raised a lovely and resourceful (thinking about the car swap situation) son.

What a horrible man your ex sounds. I know he’s worried about his health problem but anyone who causes you to feel you have to lock yourself in the bathroom is not someone you should be around.

Stop derailing it then? I made a perfectly reasonable response, stating nothing but fact. If you don’t like it then move on. It’s that easy.

I’m really sorry you’ve had such a horrible experience with this arsehole

There are 2 huge pluses - 1) you don’t have to waste another second on this whinging little man child, and 2) it sounds like you have raised an absolute gentleman of a son 💐

It sounds like he had you down for the role of unpaid servant OP, and thought he could make decisions for you and intimidate you into obeying him.
Also look at the example he's showing his son, a woman is a slave to be ordered around and then pressurized and verbally abused if she doesn't comply.
Imagine the liberties he would take had if he got his feet under the table in any way!

Thank you.
We are nearly home. My son and daughter are going to collect his car tomorrow so that I don’t have to go anywhere near ex.

Hahaha this is brilliant.

Be happy you are no longer driving miss daisy around the place.

Are you home yet OP? Did you sneak out of the door without telling your ex? If so does your ex think you’re playing an elaborate game of hide and seek and he will wonder for the rest of his life why he can’t find you?

That's an excellent plan.

Well done on dumping the twat. Sorry he turned out to be such an idiot.

You've got great kids

We are home now. I didn’t sneak out. I told him it was over due to his behaviour this evening.

Ah well! There are worse things than being single.

I like my version better. You could have sent him messages every 15 minutes telling him you were in a different place ie the shed and then the loft. He’d still be looking for you. Swearing.

I don’t drive for 24 hours after a drink. No point risking myself, my car, and others. I’m always telling my boyfriend how sober I am when I’m absolutely shit faced. A drunk person often believes they’re sober.

Goodness me OP! Well done for holding your ground and for raising such amazing children. It was absolutely your decision whether to drive or not. It would have been reasonable to refuse even if you had not had any alcohol at all - as you are certainly not responsible to get a 25 year old out of a situation of his own making.
Think the outcome is probably just as well - am sure you are worthy of someone much more considerate.

Be a nice added bonus if you have hidden his keys somewhere really obscure so he takes weeks to find them.

Ha ha. I put them in the box that holds his outside chair cushions. He might not find them until summer. ( unless he’s on Mumsnet 🤣).
He knows I’ve moved them as he managed to message me via a new Facebook account ( now also blocked). He threatened to report the theft to the police 🤣🤣.
I was tempted to reply that it would be a very silly thing to do as he’s not allowed to drive, but thought it best to say nothing.

I'm so glad reading to the end to find you got out! You obviously did a fantastic job raising your kids, unlike your very recent ex, and at least he showed you who he really is.

Signed on, so now two auld Scottish wimmin think he’s a star. And so glad that you’re home safely, @Didntwenearlyhaveitall . Very smart to block DXP (dickhead ex-partner) on all devices and have your children pick up your car. Congrats on the weight loss - down 50-60kg in just a single day! Take A Break will definitely be covering that diet for the New Year 😂

Not really relevant to this thread, but do Ubers take unaccompanied 15-year-olds in the UK? Here in Australia, they have to be 18.

It would be dire for him if I lost my licence.

Your license isn't the issue, your safety, and the safety of others, is.

You gave him you answer - the only acceptable answer - that should have been the end of it. Well done for standing firm.

Now he's badgering you to the point that you've had to shut yourself away? Personally I'd be leaving his house in that situation.

This is so refreshing to read. Well done OP. Good riddance to the wee twerp. Showed his true colours and you immediately got shot of him, as it should be.