School run and TOIL

[Mumguilt25]

I am 25, mum of 1 (DC is 8). Started a new job in August which is a step up — more money, more freedom and flexibility.

In my previous role I literally had to take my lunch break to cover the school run 🙄. New manager was really relaxed and said just do the school run and also take 30 mins lunch whenever (its an hour otherwise) which felt nice and relaxed.

She’s also agreed I can WFH 3 days a week and be in the office 2, so on WFH days it’s pretty chill.

Everything was going fine until I put in a TOIL request for 4 hours for extra work I did last week. She refused it, saying she appreciated the effort but that it’s “give and take”.

I’m feeling really annoyed by this. I didn’t choose to work extra hours for fun, it was work that needed doing. I also don’t see how flexibility around school runs = unpaid overtime?

AIBU to feel annoyed? We didnt discuss it beforehand.

So the school run is one hour and you also take half an hour lunch so you are working half an hour less a day than your contracted hours that's 2.5 hours less per week but you put in a claim for 4 hours toil? You are taking the piss.

@ELMhouse the op has stated

’The school run is 50mins -one hour.’

Definitely team boss here. It very much feels like you are taking the mick.

Some weeks I might do slightly less than my hours due to my DDs having hospital appts etc, and then I agree with my boss when I will make this up, I usually end up doing extra, but would never dream of asking for TOIL unless I have specifically been asked to work on a non working day. I'm grateful I have a boss who doesn't make me take leave when have appts, and in return I am flexible with doing extra bits when able.

Just to check - both school runs (start and end of day) take 1hr total, or 1 hour each?

If your lunch break is one hour & you use 30 mins for your actual lunch, that leaves you 30 mins for the school run, but if the schools run takes you 50 mins to 1 hour then (I’m assuming that’s once a day not twice) then you owe them 20 - 30 mins a day, no wonder she’s declined your TOIL.

You sound like you’ve got a great set up, I wouldn’t kick up a fuss.

I think you are pulling the duvet over your side a little too much op.

The school run is 50-60 mins then you take 30 mins for dinner so you owe them hours each day. YABU.

If the school run is 50 mins-1hr every day and you’re also getting a half hour lunch break then I don’t think it’s reasonable for you to claim toil for a few hours extra work.

So you get an hour and a half every day for lunch/breaks? Is that extra half an hour paid or unpaid?

Flexibility should be two ways, you can’t just takeand not give back. Sometimes overtime is needed, be a team player and do it. Sounds like you have it pretty good.

@Mumguilt25

People like you make life so difficult for other working mothers.

Read your own posts back. Your sense of entitlement is off the scale.

So you’re getting 30 min extra a day? Can you see why claiming four hours back is silly?

FWIW I do my school run in my lunch break and on those days don’t take a lunch. I consider that flexible of my boss to let me take such a late lunch.

Cheeky fucker behaviour. Your boss is right, and is being more than fair to you. Absolute brass neck to ask for TOIL. If I were her I’d be changing my mind about this flexible working setup and teaching you a lesson.

TOIL for the odd hour here and there isn’t really a thing you should expect at a more senior level, especially when you’re working from home. I would never ask for time back if I have to do a couple of hours overtime – but equally I know that if I need to pop out to collect my daughter, or go to the dentist etc, it’s fine. Flexibility goes both ways.

I actually think op you've fallen on your feet with this employer then gone and tripped yourself up.

If I were her I'd be regretting being so flexible with you. Big Time.

TOIL is normally agreed in advance as a block of time, both when accrued and taken.

Agree with this - it sounds like you are taking longer each day than you should. Also you are allowed to WFH for three days & presumably you drop off & pick up on those days. This means you can’t attend any meetings for various slots during the day & presumably your child is home for the last part of your working day. I think you should accept the goodwill gesture.

I think it might be generational tbh - those of us who are Gen X are probably more likely to do extra for no pay. However we’re probably the silly ones!

If the school run was 30 minutes and you took the other 30 minutes to eat lunch then the toil is correct for overtime. However the school run is 1 hour AND you take 30 minutes each day to eat lunch! I agree with your boss. You can’t claim over time. If anything you owe them time.

This is going to sound like I’m being really rude and judgmental, but I’m honestly not.
I see that you are 25 and your DD is 8. This means you had her young (again, no judgement), and therefore had little experience of the workplace before becoming a mother. I honestly don’t think you realise how good you’ve got it here. You are very lucky that your work have been so flexible.

This

And presumably you’re then “working “ with children at home ? Who are young enough to require a school run therefore unlikely to be 100% self sufficient

I think YABU TOIL should be agreed in advance and that IS a lot of flexibility already

Op are you starting early/finishing late to make up that extra half an hour you aren’t working on top of your lunch break for the school run? If (say) you’re being paid for a 35 hour week but are only working 32.5 hours then you are monumentally taking the piss to ask for TOIL!

Yeah, you can’t have it all ways. Would you like her to start keeping a note of your working hours and knocking off the bits you are missing? Thought not.

When you say WFH days are ‘pretty chill’…what do you mean? Do the minimum? Look after child from 330 onwards while half heartedly checking emails?

You have been in this job for 4 months. And you are gaining a lot of time per week through their flexibility. I would not be rocking the boat at all.

Also, after you have done the school run, where does the child go? I would be expecting you to use an after school club.

If the school run takes 50-60 minutes, she could very well be switched off from 2.30pm.