Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

[Becc91]

So my DS (20) came home for christmas from bristol uni with a "special" christmas present. Had me open it in front of everyone... only to find a positive pregnancy test 😱!
Turns out his new GF of 6 months, who he met online (discard?) , is an international student from Korea, studying "innovation" 🙄. I want so badly to be happy for him, but just feel he's far too young to be having a child with someone who'll be leaving the country come september.

I've always wanted to be a grandma, but not at 38!!
This, plus the fact she's 26 and we haven't even met makes me SO worried for my DS... but I'm fuming that he thought it was appropriate to give this as a present and make me open it in front of everyone.

DS now isn't speaking to me after I told him in no uncertain terms that the three of them couldn't move in when their degrees are finished- which he had the nerve to suggest over Christmas Dinner?! AIBU?

None of which will matter if she manages to get a British baby born in this country and that baby establishes that it has a human right to be with both its mother and its father. And since it does then surely it's obvious where this is going unless she is forcibly deported before that child is born. Which she won't be because her visa will be valid for it to be born here, unless it can be revoked.

She still has to go through the process of the visa or she can't rent or work.

See my previous posts about the reality of this situation and how it's not that simple.

My daughter wants to leave the UK and move to Korea. She loves the country and their culture. I can't see her having a baby to try and stay in the country. I told her to start saving now.

Another nasty post.

You are aware, presumably, that there are other ways for a17 year old to get pregnant than through informed unprotected consensual sex?

the OP has left the thread so we can all CALM down

Rent is partly why the boyfriend is trying to get Granny to take them in.

Obviously it will take time, but if the baby is born in this country then the father immediately applies for British citizenship for it, which will obviously be granted because the baby is British born of a British and British born parent. The mother then takes a human rights case to stay for the right to a family life on the basis that she and the father and the baby are an establish family unit (which they will be by the time it reaches court) and the baby has a right to continue to live with both parents. Once they've won that (because quite obviously they should! ) she can apply for indefinite leave to remain and start work.

I'm not a big fan of uncontrolled immigration but it's bleeding obvious to me in this case that if that baby is born in this country that's how it should go, and my money will be on that being how it does go, though it might take years to get through the courts.

BBC News - 'I'm British but I can't live in my own country with my partner' - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czrynlevnpgo?app-referrer=deep-link there's plenty of people struggling with visa rules including those with kids to a British born partner.

There is no British born, British resident child involved in that case. In fact there is no child at all.

The child and the human rights of the child will change everything. As they should.

This will not be about applying for a family visa, this will be about it being the human rights of the mother and the child to continue to live in a family unit with the child's father (and grandmother!) and against section 8 of the human rights act for her to be deported as a visa overstayer.

Read the whole article, there's a British guy with a Tanzanian fiance who he has two kids with, the kids and their mother live in Tanzania and aren't allowed to come here because he can't meet the income threshold

It doesn't say that the children of the Tanzanian fiance were born in the UK. In this Guardian article the first child is not the son of the British guy and it strongly implies his own child was born in Tanzania:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/jun/26/visa-income-rules-discriminate-against-working-class-people-british-father-says

Irrelevant. The kids are not in the UK and weren't even born in the UK. He is able to live in Tanzania, he chose to leave her there and come home, hoping to get her into the UK. The equivalent in this case would be the Korean mother trying to bring her fiance and child to Korea. When the baby is born this will be a family who are all resident in the UK.

Is it lambasting her to point out that
she’s horrified at becoming a grandmother at 38 but that a major contributing factor to that is that she herself had her son at 18? You say leave out the age, but the OP specifically said she didn’t want to be a grandmother at 38.

Yes.

The was a reply of mine to the deleted post. It applies equally to yours.

"Another nasty post.
You are aware, presumably, that there are other ways for a17 year old to get pregnant than through informed unprotected consensual sex?"

If the OP has said that’s what happened that’s terrible. My comment didn’t pass any judgement on her having a child young though? It says that if she did have a child young then she can’t be horrified at becoming a grandmother young also. That’s just maths?

Agree. And I don’t think OP meant just the age, I think it was much more the circumstances and difficulties surrounding this pregnancy, plus what I really do think is DS’ manipulative behaviour in how it was announced, and how he brought up the subject of them all living with OP after the baby is born. It’s complicated and I don’t think the circumstances in which OP became pregnant herself have any relevance at all. But then this is mumsnet and some posters just can’t resist an opportunity to put the boot in. The lack of critical thinking from some is awesome !!

Being a young Mum yourself you'll know the struggles he'll face so why not help where you can. Ask him to bring his GF home so you can meet her & discuss things with them both. Why would she be leaving the country in Sept? Is she planning to return home & raise the baby there or return to the UK to raise the baby here in the UK with your Son? Do you have room for them to move in with you for a short period until they can get a place together if she is planning to return? It's a shock for you so try not to voice to much at the moment until you've had time to process it all.

I think that she has to leave the UK in September because she is here on the Chevening scheme, which allows recipients to be here while their course is running, but stipulates that they need to leave the UK promptly when it has finished.

She should leave when her visa expires but the estimate is between 10k and 20k people are in the UK having overstayed a student visa. The Home Office aren't going to knock the door the day after it runs out and deport a new mother with a British baby.

If she has baby here then does she get automatic remain because they are a family?

No.

A British baby and Korean mother what can the home office do?

She gets the right to take a Human Rights section 8 case, the right to a family life.

The baby can't be deported because it will be British as soon as the father applies for it, since he is both British and British born that's a given.

So they can't just deport her and leave the baby here because that's against the baby's human rights, quite obviously.

And by the time they get round to realising she's overstayed her visa, given that we don't routinely check whether students are leaving the country at the end of their studies, if she lives with the father with their baby then it's my belief she'll have a slam dunk case for indefinite leave to remain, with the right to a family life of both her and the baby.

I read this online "The mother would typically apply for leave to remain under the "parent of a British child" route, which usually puts her on a 5-year path to settlement (ILR)." The mother would need to make a new application.

Main Requirements: To be granted leave to remain, she must prove:

1. She is the parent of the British child.
2. The child lives in the UK.
3. She has sole parental responsibility or, if she shares responsibility with the British father, that the father is a British citizen or settled in the UK, and she has direct access to the child.
4. She is taking, or intends to continue taking, an active role in the child's upbringing.
5. She can adequately house and support herself and her family without recourse to public funds (benefits).
6. She meets the English language requirements.

I am sure she can meet all the above requirements.