Page 2 | Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

Becc91 · 2025-12-27T17:57:29+00:00

So my DS (20) came home for christmas from bristol uni with a "special" christmas present. Had me open it in front of everyone... only to find a positive pregnancy test 😱! Turns out his new GF of 6 months, who he met online (discard?) , is an international student from Korea, studying "innovation" 🙄. I want so badly to be happy for him, but just feel he's far too young to be having a child with someone who'll be leaving the country come september. I've always wanted to be a grandma, but not at 38!! This, plus the fact she's 26 and we haven't even met makes me SO worried for my DS... but I'm fuming that he thought it was appropriate to give this as a present and make me open it in front of everyone. DS now isn't speaking to me after I told him in no uncertain terms that the three of them couldn't move in when their degrees are finished- which he had the nerve to suggest over Christmas Dinner?! AIBU?

AngelofIslington · 27/12/2025 18:14

Whilst I think the way he told was shows his immaturity you have do decide what you do more.
Do you love your son more or do you hate the way his life has turned out and tailor your response accordingly.
Hopefully it’s the former and you can work through this without ruining your relationship with your growing family

Crochetandtea · 27/12/2025 18:14

I would presume she wants to stay in the UK? A positive pregnancy test isn’t a baby yet! Who knows what will happen . He didn’t go about the announcement the right way but he’s not a teenager and he is living his life the way he wants to. I say let him crack on with it!

harriethoyle · 27/12/2025 18:14

Christmaseree · 27/12/2025 17:59

How did your parents react when you were pregnant at 17 or 18, in a similar way?

I know it irritates some people but this is definitely a thread where I’m happy to say: “first post nails it”!

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 27/12/2025 18:15

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/12/2025 18:02

I would let my son and the woman carrying my grandchild move in if they needed to. You don’t want her fleeing to Korea. If baby is born here your son will have more rights. but I’m confused you said she’s leaving the country, but they want to move in?
if her parents are kinder, strong chance your son will become a tefl teacher in Korea and they’ll both move out there

Agree with this.

Depends what you want.
If you want your son and GC in UK you.might want to have a rethink...

If you wrent fussed about them all livong in Korea ... crack on...

MrsEndeavourMorse · 27/12/2025 18:16

isyouready · 27/12/2025 18:02

How awful for you. I just wanted to post as I saw you had no response. They are people that care about your situation. I hope you get replies from people wiser than me.

You posted because she had no response in 3 minutes? I mean, she actually did because people take a few minutes to type then post. Christ. Bump after literal seconds

Notdoingthisanymore · 27/12/2025 18:17

He's just 20 years old, probably scared and in need of the support of his mum.
I wouldn't blame him if he went to live in S Korea with the mother of his child as you have been so cold hearted to him.

BillieWiper · 27/12/2025 18:18

Squirrelchops1 · 27/12/2025 18:01

Ouch, but yes, a pretty relevant point!

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Yeah if she got pregnant at 17 why can't this other woman do it nine years later?

RanyaJerodung · 27/12/2025 18:18

Christmaseree · 27/12/2025 17:59

How did your parents react when you were pregnant at 17 or 18, in a similar way?

This. Talk about hypocritical.

Newyearawaits · 27/12/2025 18:18

Fingers crossed it all works out for them
Sorry that you are having to deal with this OP, a roller coaster of emotions

Pippa12 · 27/12/2025 18:21

I can see why you’d be concerned. Perhaps your worried about history repeating itself, especially if you found it difficult with having your son young.

However, there are worse things in the world than babies, and s/he’s coming whether you like it or not. Your behaviour now will dictate how involved you want to be in your first grandchild’s life.

ByNeatRoseMember · 27/12/2025 18:21

Notdoingthisanymore · 27/12/2025 18:17

He's just 20 years old, probably scared and in need of the support of his mum.
I wouldn't blame him if he went to live in S Korea with the mother of his child as you have been so cold hearted to him.

She just overreacted to a shock. Too harsh.

justasking111 · 27/12/2025 18:24

My son is sitting here studying final years of masters. He's been with his girlfriend six years. She's a lovely girl but they're as poor as church mice still with all the educational expenses plus personal ones. So I'd be worried . They've earned some fun and need to get financially secure before starting a family,

It's going to be a hard road for them to hoe coming from two different continents. They've only been together six months.

isyouready · 27/12/2025 18:25

MrsEndeavourMorse · 27/12/2025 18:16

You posted because she had no response in 3 minutes? I mean, she actually did because people take a few minutes to type then post. Christ. Bump after literal seconds

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Ok fair enough. I'll wait longer next time. My mistake

Naala · 27/12/2025 18:25

He'll likely be a graduate when the baby comes. Quite different from you barely having had chance to do a levels when you gave birth.

Were you never going to let him come home after uni, or just now he'll have a child?

SallySue87 · 27/12/2025 18:25

Sleepasaurus · 27/12/2025 18:03

What would you like him to do?

Perhaps, not hand his mother a pissy stick over christmas dinner… 🤮

mathanxiety · 27/12/2025 18:25

I wouldn't let them move in with you either.

Your son has behaved really badly, and I would like to know why he thought getting this woman pregnant in under a year of seeing each other, and springing the news of the pregnancy on you in this way were good ideas, along with the thought that they could all move in with you. It's all egregiously immature and selfish.

It's the 'thought process' of a relative of mine, who has a total of seven children now, with seven different women. He does not see most of the children as the mothers rightly got tired of his shit. His career as a begetter of babies started in university and continued into his 40s.

Let your son figure out how to support his baby and where the three of them will live, if you want to limit the number of grandchildren you'll end up with (and taking care of) by the time you're 45.

I can't believe there are women here who think any of this was ok.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 27/12/2025 18:25

Squirrelchops1 · 27/12/2025 18:12

What an amazing opportunity for your son to live in Asia. I sound sarcastic when I'm being absolutely genuine.

I was thinking this too. Especially if he isn't getting the support of his mother.

Littletreefrog · 27/12/2025 18:26

justasking111 · 27/12/2025 18:24

My son is sitting here studying final years of masters. He's been with his girlfriend six years. She's a lovely girl but they're as poor as church mice still with all the educational expenses plus personal ones. So I'd be worried . They've earned some fun and need to get financially secure before starting a family,

It's going to be a hard road for them to hoe coming from two different continents. They've only been together six months.

Yes it will be hard but generally the response you should give someone (especially your offspring) when they are facing a hard situation is 'how can I help?' not 'well don't expect any help from me'.

Kingsleadhat · 27/12/2025 18:27

It's weird that he thinks his child is somehow a gift for you. Wrong on many levels

TY78910 · 27/12/2025 18:27

mathanxiety · 27/12/2025 18:25

I wouldn't let them move in with you either.

Your son has behaved really badly, and I would like to know why he thought getting this woman pregnant in under a year of seeing each other, and springing the news of the pregnancy on you in this way were good ideas, along with the thought that they could all move in with you. It's all egregiously immature and selfish.

It's the 'thought process' of a relative of mine, who has a total of seven children now, with seven different women. He does not see most of the children as the mothers rightly got tired of his shit. His career as a begetter of babies started in university and continued into his 40s.

Let your son figure out how to support his baby and where the three of them will live, if you want to limit the number of grandchildren you'll end up with (and taking care of) by the time you're 45.

I can't believe there are women here who think any of this was ok.

Your relative’s experience is so wildly different from what’s happening here ffs

mathanxiety · 27/12/2025 18:27

Notdoingthisanymore · 27/12/2025 18:17

He's just 20 years old, probably scared and in need of the support of his mum.
I wouldn't blame him if he went to live in S Korea with the mother of his child as you have been so cold hearted to him.

Lol.

If you think he and she and the baby will get a warm welcome from her family in Korea, think again.

Littletreefrog · 27/12/2025 18:28

mathanxiety · 27/12/2025 18:25

I wouldn't let them move in with you either.

Your son has behaved really badly, and I would like to know why he thought getting this woman pregnant in under a year of seeing each other, and springing the news of the pregnancy on you in this way were good ideas, along with the thought that they could all move in with you. It's all egregiously immature and selfish.

It's the 'thought process' of a relative of mine, who has a total of seven children now, with seven different women. He does not see most of the children as the mothers rightly got tired of his shit. His career as a begetter of babies started in university and continued into his 40s.

Let your son figure out how to support his baby and where the three of them will live, if you want to limit the number of grandchildren you'll end up with (and taking care of) by the time you're 45.

I can't believe there are women here who think any of this was ok.

He didn't "get her pregnant" it takes two to become pregnant and both parties are equally responsible for making sure it doesn't happen if they don't want it to.

Overalls · 27/12/2025 18:29

This can't be real can it?

shuggles · 27/12/2025 18:31

@mathanxiety he thought getting this woman pregnant

He did not "get this woman pregnant." The woman was also a participant.

It's the 'thought process' of a relative of mine, who has a total of seven children now, with seven different women. He does not see most of the children as the mothers rightly got tired of his shit. His career as a begetter of babies started in university and continued into his 40s.

A man who has children with 7 different women, then leaves each one, is an asshole.

A woman who chooses to have a child with a man who has already left multiple women is on a whole other level of stupidity.

mathanxiety · 27/12/2025 18:32

TY78910 · 27/12/2025 18:27

Your relative’s experience is so wildly different from what’s happening here ffs

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You don't know my relative. He started out exactly as this young man did.