Page 3 | Nothing from teens

Canonlythinkofthisone · 27/12/2025 16:54

Rosealea · 27/12/2025 16:06

I have made it very clear to my kids since they were old enough to understand that I never want gifts or cards from them for anything. It is my pleasure to be their mum and I'm not a selfish or greedy person so gifts or cards or anything at all are not required or expected.

I don't understand why parents expect their children to buy them things. It's pure greed and selfishness

Oh give over.

waterrat · 27/12/2025 16:54

This is disgraceful op

The mum who thinks its okay to let teens juat wallow in gifts and not think of their own mum is raising children who dont know how to choose gifts !!

I absolutely tell my kids it can be small or from a charity shop but they have to think of parents and grandparents

Ita gross for any young person to be so thoughtless

Op in this situation I would want your husband reading the riot act

I do however think your husband should have made sure they were getting it done though

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2025 16:55

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 16:52

What a disgusting comment.

Fwiw in our family we don't buy for adults... only children get gifts. Even if you do at what age is a child supposed to go from not buying a gift to buying one?

I couldn't give a flying fuck if my DC bought me a present or not.

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Do they buy you a present when it's your birthday?

BlackCat14 · 27/12/2025 16:55

Did they get your husband anything? Did you remind them to? Assist them with what to buy?

5128gap · 27/12/2025 16:55

Rosealea · 27/12/2025 16:06

I have made it very clear to my kids since they were old enough to understand that I never want gifts or cards from them for anything. It is my pleasure to be their mum and I'm not a selfish or greedy person so gifts or cards or anything at all are not required or expected.

I don't understand why parents expect their children to buy them things. It's pure greed and selfishness

Oh yes. Greed, that'll be it. Because we're all desperate to get our hands on a bar of dairy milk, and our avaricious eyes light up at a recycled gift set from the school fate.🙄
Its not about the gift. Obviously. It's about teaching DC about generosity, thought for others, the joy of giving, and starting early. Which requires teaching them via their first relationships.

Pigeonpoodle · 27/12/2025 16:56

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 16:27

I have two teens...15 and 17. They didn't get me anything and it would never occur to me that they should get me something for Christmas.

I’m not sure why you’re proud of raising your children to be so spoilt and ungrateful, they can’t even acknowledge their mother with a small gift.

All you’ve done is taught them to take the people who love and care for them for granted, and raised the next generation of people whose partners will be coming onto MN upset that they didn’t even get them a birthday card.

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 16:57

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2025 16:55

Do they buy you a present when it's your birthday?

Show quote history

No ..my DH buys me a gift and they all just give them to me. I don't need a specific present from my children...I'm really not that precious. They are nice kids...none of us are particularly grabby or gift focused

waterrat · 27/12/2025 16:57

@muckandmerriment teens and children benefit from learning the joy of giving

Even if I was giving them the cash for it I want my kids learning to think of others.

Its not about expense. But sitting and juat unwrapping gifts and not learning that there is also joy in thinking of others...that doesnt sound ideal to me

susiedaisy1912 · 27/12/2025 16:57

Did they get your husband anything?

Canonlythinkofthisone · 27/12/2025 16:58

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 16:27

I have two teens...15 and 17. They didn't get me anything and it would never occur to me that they should get me something for Christmas.

Why. Are you not a person?
Are you a robot?

tripleginandtonic · 27/12/2025 16:58

Rosealea · 27/12/2025 16:06

I have made it very clear to my kids since they were old enough to understand that I never want gifts or cards from them for anything. It is my pleasure to be their mum and I'm not a selfish or greedy person so gifts or cards or anything at all are not required or expected.

I don't understand why parents expect their children to buy them things. It's pure greed and selfishness

No it isn't, it's raising them to be decent human beings. Ive always told mine the cost isn't important but the thought is and it is better to give than receive.

Inlimboin50s · 27/12/2025 17:00

Nothing from my ds 18,I did a small hint last week but it's fine. Now he is an adult I said I'd only be getting him a few bits ( (£20ish). Older son keeps saying he has got me chocolate but it's in his car?! However,my eldest,dd of 26 goes all out with some small but very thoughtful gifts.

KaleidoscopeSmile · 27/12/2025 17:00

Rosealea · 27/12/2025 16:06

I have made it very clear to my kids since they were old enough to understand that I never want gifts or cards from them for anything. It is my pleasure to be their mum and I'm not a selfish or greedy person so gifts or cards or anything at all are not required or expected.

I don't understand why parents expect their children to buy them things. It's pure greed and selfishness

Ha ha! - you're a card

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 17:00

Canonlythinkofthisone · 27/12/2025 16:58

Why. Are you not a person?
Are you a robot?

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It because I'm a person that I don't give a shit about gifts...I couldn't care less. I'd say it's more robotic to just expect a gift because it's December 25 and it's the done thing

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2025 17:01

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 16:57

No ..my DH buys me a gift and they all just give them to me. I don't need a specific present from my children...I'm really not that precious. They are nice kids...none of us are particularly grabby or gift focused

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It's not about being precious or grabby though. It's teaching children to be thoughtful and to think of other people and the joy of gift giving.

BlueMum16 · 27/12/2025 17:01

Rebecca7300 · 27/12/2025 16:02

I’m hurt that my 3 teens - 13, 16 & 17 didn’t get me a single thing for Christmas. No Christmas card, no chocolate bar. I put in a lot of effort for Christmas and do it all by myself & I just feel so under appreciated. They all get pocket money & live near shops. My husband got me some earrings that I knew about because we chose them together but no surprises, no card. I just feel very sad. Is it normal that teens just ignore you at this age? I’m really finding these teenage years very, very difficult.

My DH checks with our DC they they have presents for me.

I check that they have presents for DH.

They need prompting and often cash at this age.

Do they get you a birthday or mother's day presents? What's different about this Christmas?

Longtimegardener · 27/12/2025 17:01

Sympathies OP. I have been there- albeit DH has stepped in to rectify. This year (age 18 and 20) was the the first year that they organised themselves and bought really thoughtful gifts. I get people staying they don’t expect anything but for me it’s the fact they thought about it that matters. Hang in there it does get better!

DuckTales1234 · 27/12/2025 17:01

It has to be taught. I take my 2 DC to xmas shopping a week or so before xmas. Give them money and we go to the city centre for lunch and then shopping. They both have to buy 3 gifs with cards for the other family members, including each other. I’ve been doing that every year so they got used to it and now they know this is the xmas dynamic. They get gifts, but also gift their loved ones. I don’t check on the gifts they choose so it’s all a surprise on Xmas day. It’s lovely to see them carefully looking for something special for each family member, and they love the process these days.

DuckTales1234 · 27/12/2025 17:02

Longtimegardener · 27/12/2025 17:01

Sympathies OP. I have been there- albeit DH has stepped in to rectify. This year (age 18 and 20) was the the first year that they organised themselves and bought really thoughtful gifts. I get people staying they don’t expect anything but for me it’s the fact they thought about it that matters. Hang in there it does get better!

Forgot to add, kids are now 11 and 13.

sorry, quoted the wrong post!!!!

Pigeonpoodle · 27/12/2025 17:02

Princesspollyyy · 27/12/2025 16:52

@Pigeonpoodle

Just answering the Op’s question on whether it was normal or not, thats all. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you think your answer was “just answering her question”, I think that proves my point about your thoughtlessness.

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 17:02

Pigeonpoodle · 27/12/2025 16:56

I’m not sure why you’re proud of raising your children to be so spoilt and ungrateful, they can’t even acknowledge their mother with a small gift.

All you’ve done is taught them to take the people who love and care for them for granted, and raised the next generation of people whose partners will be coming onto MN upset that they didn’t even get them a birthday card.

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Your comment is vile ..you have no idea if my DC are spolit or not. Fwiw my teenage ds literally couldn't care less about gifts either... obviously I buy him them but he genuinely isn't particularly fussed.

Tulipvase · 27/12/2025 17:04

I too think that’s pretty shoddy behaviour.

Mine are between 15 and 17 and the money spent varied hugely ( Poundland v high end garden centre and JL). But they all bought something for us. And each other actually which was sweet.

It sounds like you don’t really go in for presents though and maybe they picked up on that?

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 17:04

2dogsandabudgie · 27/12/2025 17:01

It's not about being precious or grabby though. It's teaching children to be thoughtful and to think of other people and the joy of gift giving.

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There's a million ways to teach people to be thoughtful and considerate that don't involve being a materialistic drone to please the marketing men at Christmas.

Comedycook · 27/12/2025 17:06

And I really don't understand if there's a specific age a child goes from not buying a gift for a parent to buying one...and how do they know they are now meant to buy one?

Pigeonpoodle · 27/12/2025 17:07

DuckTales1234 · 27/12/2025 17:01

It has to be taught. I take my 2 DC to xmas shopping a week or so before xmas. Give them money and we go to the city centre for lunch and then shopping. They both have to buy 3 gifs with cards for the other family members, including each other. I’ve been doing that every year so they got used to it and now they know this is the xmas dynamic. They get gifts, but also gift their loved ones. I don’t check on the gifts they choose so it’s all a surprise on Xmas day. It’s lovely to see them carefully looking for something special for each family member, and they love the process these days.

You’re right, it does have to be taught… When they’re very little I’d get the gifts they give (0-4 ish)
When they’re a bit bigger i’d go with them to get presents (5-8 ish)
When they’re bigger still I’d remind them and check they’d got something (9-11ish).
By the time they reach high school, they knew what was expected without reminding.

OP, I’m guessing this wasn’t your experience with your children?