Yes there are such things as accidental pregnancies

[greenwithglee]

I am getting increasingly frustrated with this on a site which is supposed to support mums and women. Someone will post for advice relating to an accidental pregnancy, and you can pretty much guarantee within the first 2 pages some prick will come along and ask "well how did it happen?". Errr quite frankly its none of your business and doesn't really relate to what the OP is asking.

It is judgemental, unhelpful and none of you bloody business. There are plenty of reasons birth control fails. Actually when you look at developments in BC effectiveness hasn't really changed for decades- availability and impact on pleasure has, but not effectiveness.

The reckon 50% of births globally are accidental pregnancies, and in the UK and UK that number is still 40-50%

When your doctor tells you about effectiveness rates, that is for one off encounters, the way the % compound over time means the failure rate is actually quite staggering, as illustrated here. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/09/14/sunday-review/unplanned-pregnancies.html

I dont think this perpetuation of these myths that unplanned pregnancies must be "someones fault", and us as women allowing these judgemental comments to go unchecked on this site is in anyway helpful.

Statistically and scientifically it is actually quite difficult to get pregnant and keep the pregnancy so I’m not sure I buy all the “accidents” I read about on here.

You do also get cryptic pregnancies, where women don't realise they are pregnant until very late, or at birth.

A friend had a pill baby and a coil baby. And quite a few friends, their first babies weren't planned at the time they happened, but they were wanted - they just were thinking they'd be further down the line. They all had degrees, one even a PhD, so they weren't daft or ignorant.

I know several women who got pregnant with IUDs. Those seem.to be really ineffective.

I got accidentally pregnant. Was using the pill which I took at the same time every day as I’ve always done. The condom split but as I was on the pill and hadn’t been sick or had diarrhoea I thought it was fine
plus he noticed the condom had split and didn’t finish…

Gosh, it’s almost like there aren’t instructions on on the pill packet.

I have 6 children work only 1 being planned.
My first was due to me not taking my pill properly
2nd was planned
3rd I'm sure I was talking the pill properly
4th no idea how he was conceived
5th was on the pill
6th was on the pill and husband was told he was infertile due to chemotherapy.

According to my gynecologist I'm extremely fertile.

I took the pill correctly from age 17 to 53 and never had a pregnancy, an accidental pregnancy or a pregnancy scare either.

I had my second daughter accidentally. I never missed a single pill, took it at similar time every day because I take it with my thyroid tablets and I’ve always had one of them days of the week pill things. I hadn’t been ill or anything so it wouldn’t work. Anyway she’s 21 now 😸
When she started school when she was little a few other mums were saying the same thing had happened to them.

And what has prompted this thread? I personally don't believe the stats quoted whatsoever. If you don't want to get pregnant and both partners are careful and responsible it is highly unlikely you get pregnant. This may involve avoiding fertile times of the month with less reliable forms of contraception, avoiding sex when the pill may have failed due to vomiting etc, morning after pill for a split condom etc. Of course, despite this some people may still get pregnant but it will be a much smaller number than the total number of 'accidental' pregnancies.

I became pregnant whilst on the pill. These things happen.

I got pregnant with a coil. I don't judge.

I've known a couple of women who fell pregnant despite having a coil fitted (both married with children already) and one was on the pill (albeit had been sick which I'm guessing contributed to it's ineffectiveness. To be fair, even with just a 1% failure rate, someone is going to fall into that 1% so I can believe accidents happen. If its 99% effective you probably don't think it will happen to you.

The answer is to have an accidental abortion - makes just as much sense.

Same. I know people who have got pregnant without actively wanting a baby at that time, hoping they would get away with it, but I don’t know anyone who has been using contraceptives properly and still got pregnant.

ETA I know that there are exceptions, and a friend of my husband’s cousin’s science teacher 20 years ago got pregnant with a coil fitted, but it’s rare.

Did you consider sterilisation at any point?

I'm amazed that people who have got accidentally pregnant on the pill would continue to use it tbh...

You cant imagine how thick your smart arse post makes you sound.

I know two people who got pregnant with the IUD, no form of contraception is 100%.

Pregnancy is a result of sex, most people don’t have sex to get pregnant. The amount of people who do get pregnant is probably quite small compared the yearly number of people who engage in sexual activity.

Contraception is never perfect. We use condoms, and even though they are well over 90% effective when used correctly (which we do) that means if we have sex 100 times a year (which we probably also do since that's only twice a week) there is a chance of pregnancy. So we very rarely have sex when I'm ovulating for that very reason.

YANBU @greenwithglee,I had an accidental pregnancy in my 40s. No contraception is 100%, so to deny it happens is ridiculous and usually misogynist.

No. That’s NOT what the research you linked said. It said 86 out of 100 times will lead to pregnancy, showing a sliding scale of typical usage that seems to indicate that people get more careless the longer they’re with a partner. The rate for perfect use was only 18 out of 100, and if you use the pill perfectly it’s only 3 in 100. The implant or either type of IUD has a failure rate of less than 1 in 100, even after 10 years according to those charts. So if you’re really serious about not getting pregnant, knowing that yes, few of us will have “perfect usage” every day for ten years, then you combine methods - there is 0 out of 100 chance of pregnancy after 10 years if you have an implant, AND use spermicide, and possibly either withdrawal or a condom. I mean, if you want to have sex and REALLY can’t get pregnant, then yes, there are ways. As someone who is seriously disabled and would be unable to survive a pregnancy, I can’t afford to fuck around and find out. And in a country where abortion is legal, you REALLY can’t claim any pregnancy was “unplanned,” by the time you give birth. You found out you were pregnant, you decided to keep the pregnancy; that’s definitely a plan. So no. There are no truly accidental pregnancies here in the UK. Those of us who are disabled or cannot afford a child, or both, like me, have no choice but to have foolproof birth control or be abstinent. Sorry, OP.

@Chiseltip To be utterly correct, if a man ejaculates near the vagina it can be enough, without sex, to get those little blighters scrambling towards an egg.

When most people say accidental, they mean unplanned but for some reason, accidental sounds better than unplanned.

I have two much loved children, both completely unplanned, both contraceptive failures. I chose not to have a third that was conceived while on a different form of contraceptive, a decision I never thought I would have to make as I had been so careful. My body thought otherwise. It was not a decision I took lightly.

Exactly this.

I don't know why people who really don't want a pregnancy and rely on something like the pill or coil don't back up with a condom to be safe. I'd never trust just one form of contraception, I'm too paranoid.

What do you mean by at the end?