Yes there are such things as accidental pregnancies

[greenwithglee]

I am getting increasingly frustrated with this on a site which is supposed to support mums and women. Someone will post for advice relating to an accidental pregnancy, and you can pretty much guarantee within the first 2 pages some prick will come along and ask "well how did it happen?". Errr quite frankly its none of your business and doesn't really relate to what the OP is asking.

It is judgemental, unhelpful and none of you bloody business. There are plenty of reasons birth control fails. Actually when you look at developments in BC effectiveness hasn't really changed for decades- availability and impact on pleasure has, but not effectiveness.

The reckon 50% of births globally are accidental pregnancies, and in the UK and UK that number is still 40-50%

When your doctor tells you about effectiveness rates, that is for one off encounters, the way the % compound over time means the failure rate is actually quite staggering, as illustrated here. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/09/14/sunday-review/unplanned-pregnancies.html

I dont think this perpetuation of these myths that unplanned pregnancies must be "someones fault", and us as women allowing these judgemental comments to go unchecked on this site is in anyway helpful.

You can't get pregnant accidentally. You have to have sex first. And you can't do that "accidentally".

HTH

I think that birth control failing if used correctly is very, very unlikely. If you’re not using it correctly you are pretty much actively trying.

Well 86 men in 100 will end up being responsible for an unplanned pregnancy after 10 years if they have sex with a condom. I doubt they believe they are actively trying...

I wonder what the statistics are for accidental pregnancies while using the pull out method. And what percentage of the overall number of accidental pregnancies are because contraception wasn’t being used, or not being used correctly.
If used correctly it is highly effective.

..which is why access to the morning after pill and safe, legal abortion is such a blessing for women who don't want to have children.

Accidental pregnancy - perhaps. Accidentally bearing a child? Nope.

Or 18 in 100 if they use them properly.

There are genuine contraceptive failures leading to accidental pregnancies. And then there are "we don't want a baby, but forgot to take the pill/didn't use a condom every so often, and didn't think it would happen to us." And I strongly suspect the latter category is much much larger than the former.

This plus, it takes two to make a baby. If both partners are using a reliable contraceptive method properly, then the chances of accidental pregnancy are absolutely minimal.

That is with 'typical' use. With correct use it is under 25.

Sex can result in pregnancy.

You dont trip over a stone, fall flat on your face and get up pregnant

The opposite of actively trying to get pregnant is not getting pregnant accidentally.

There's a whole big grey area of not taking precautions, not taking them properly, not knowing that contraceptives are less effective in certain situations etc etc.

They aren't accidents, they are failures to do everything possible to prevent pregnancy.

That doesnt mean anyone should be berated for it of course, its just that failure to prevent something doesnt make it happening an accident.

Of the people I know well enough to know these sorts of things, none of the 'accidental' pregnancies involved any sort of birth control.

Love to see where this 86/100 data comes from.

I've read posts on here from women saying they were having unprotected sex but weren't actively trying for a baby....

🙄

I think most of the time the woman actually wants it and just won’t/can’t admit it.

Calling it accidental just removes personal responsibility.

I was always mystified as to the difference between perfect and typical use with condoms. I think it was here that I learned that sometimes, people just put it on at the end 😲

The charts that you linked show that there are highly effective contraceptives available, including IUDs and implants. If a woman really wants to avoid pregnancy, she can.

I agree, OP. "How did it happen?" is massively unhelpful and it's of no consequence to the thread because the pregnancy isn't going to magically undo itself. It's also no one's business. The pregnancy could be a contraception failure, it could be due to rape, it could be part of domestic abuse, and it could well be a case of two people not taking precautions but the end result is the same. It's like people who ask "and why did you have children with this man?" when an OP mentions a useless part er, should OP just suck the children back into her womb and reabsorb them then...? A situation is what it is, how it occured doesn't change the reality of the here and now.

FWIW, I've had an accidental pregnancy. I was on the contraceptive injection and we were using condoms too because we really, really didn't want another child. Shit happens and hand-wringing about the circumstances of how it happened won't change that fact.

I think true accidents are probably quite rare and the term accidental is also used to mean I was irresponsible, whoops, which is not the same.

You are being entirely unreasonable. I am really bored with the number of threads of here where couples have another baby who is an accident and they can’t cope with the number they have.

It is very possible to take active steps - I refuse to take hormonal related contraception now and so am hyper careful. These couples choose not to.

Is unplanned a better way of describing this situation. I've not really seen people saying accidental but definitely unplanned.
As has been said. An unplanned pregnancy isn't an inevitable unplanned baby.

The problem with incorrect use of of contraception is you don't realise you've used it incorrectly.

Like oral contraception failing because you were sick, or an IUD slipping, the condom on not quite right etc.

Conception is extremely unfair. You've got women trying to avoid it getting pregnant, woman desperately wanting it failing to conceive... and some for whom everything aligns perfectly.

'Typical use' according to the article means 'not always using it correctly or consistently'. If you don't use it, of course it won't work.

I note that IUDs (either type), implants and depo-provera all have a 10-year failure rate of 2% or lower if used properly.

Its also massively overlooked by our 'betters' that you are most likely to have risky sex - ie unprotected sex - when you are ovulating as a woman, or with a woman that is ovulating. We are animals and our sexual pleasure is a byproduct of our genes desire to propagate. Anyone who does not believe that you can do something 'daft' resulting in a pregnancy lacks the true understanding of what we are as a species and is considering only their own perspective. Which is v common on MN!

Omg! Of course there are accidents! Especially when the healthcare advisors tell you your IUD is effective for 10 years when in reality it is 5!! Plus not all contraceptives are 100% reliable. ffs those voting unreasonable are heartless idiots!