To be a little annoyed by this token gift

[slightlyjadedbythis]

I do a lot of free babysitting for my nieces and nephews.

One family got me a really lovely gift voucher. It was really appreciated and came with a really lovely card. It genuinely brought tears to my eyes.

The other family (who I’ve probably babysat for for over 200 hours this year) have got me a gift set that is currently on sale for £3. My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly.

AIBU to think that this is a little cheeky when I do so much free babysitting?

FFS stop the free babysitting.
Don’t give any notice, at least that is the one advantage of not charging, just send a message
« I feel that the 100s of hours of free babysitting I did for you are not appreciated so I have decided I won’t be doing it in 2026 anymore. Please don’t ask me as the answer will be no, surly you’ll agree that I have already helped more than anybody else and you will find someone else - or use a professionnel babysitter ».
If they guilt trip you, remember that you don’t owe them anything, their children are not your responsibility, and why would it be yours more than all their other family members / friends?

They absolutely did, and in that way it was very different from OPs situation. But I think that OP may reap benefits later in tetms of the relationship even if the parents are unappreciative now.

Oh dear they got unhappy that their free labour is going away
Op you have created this situation ,you can put a stop to it.
It's madness.
Baby sitters are hugely expensive ,charge or don't do it.
They don't respect you and why would they ? You need to respect yourself first.

This shows you how little they value you - STOP DOING IT!!!! End of. 🤷‍♀️

Often the contempt the parents show descends a generation though. I wouldn’t bank on the niece/nephew maintaining a strong relationship if the parents don’t. Especially once the OP has her iwn children. The position of a childless aunt us quite different to that of an aunt who has her iwn family demanding her time.

2000 hours is a lot as well! Its way more than necessary to form a good bond with the children.

Personally I’m not bothered about gifts.

But yes, OP. In your circumstances, that really stinks.

Sorry typo! 200 hours is a lot!

Why on earth are you being such a doormat. You work the same hours as them and then do free childcare for them, which is obviously not appreciated. Get out of this arrangement sooner rather than later!

If you don’t enjoy babysitting or feel like you’re taken advantage of by babysitting don’t do it or become less available . If you really enjoy it then yes I’d be a bit pissed off too so I’d still maybe become a bit less available so they have to pay for babysitters or struggle to find another family member might make them appreciate you a bit more . I think they’re CF actually

Don't agree to any more dates. Do what you've agreed and simply don't book anything else in.

Or, drastically decrease what you do book in. Maybe once a month or once every 6 weeks. Suggest a babysitting agency or someone you know who does paid sitting if they say they are stuck.

Stick to it. They'll know why.

If they ever get shirty about you not being available then just cancel all the dates. You're not their staff!

Maybe mention the other family’s gift? Just in passing…..

Just give notice that you can no longer baby sit due to new commitments at work/ new hobby etc. They’ve disrespected you and do not value you at all. Please do not allow them to use you anymore.

Their reaction to your single refusal tells me that they feel they can treat you badly in the knowledge that you’ll still show up for them….

Please don’t be a doormat, OP!

You need to set yourself some boundaries and NOT providing free child care for people who treat you like should be one of them! They are taking advantage of you for certain.

You are worth more than this.

It’s not just about the rubbish Christmas gift, it’s about their disrespectful attitude towards you and your kindness. I would do as a previous poster said, and cancel any arrangements you have made more than 2 months away.

I think they are tight arses and they are using you. How much have you saved them?
i think id develop a hobby which v quickly starts to take up a lot of your time 😉.

Decommitt, OP. Tell the cheapskates that things have come up and that you're moving on. Or just tell them straight out that they are being CFs and that they cap pay for help.

Just be mostly available for the nice ones, and mostly unavailable for the CFs.

The ocean is smaller than the piss your siblings are taking!
Fuck their tantrums, such pathetic behaviour that you need not be an enabler to

That's to excuse them from buying something decent

You can still change your mind or charge if you give notice

We took 2 of my nieces on the polar express last year, bought the DVD to watch first, then matching PJ's for us all so a pretty expensive trip. bought them home, didn't get a thank you. That was the last time i have taken them anywhere if they or their parents can't be arsed to say thank you, i can't be arsed to take them anywhere again. This year we have had a lovely couple of nights at a spa with the money which is usually spent on Christmas gifts.

Find a hobby so you are less available. They need to learn to respect your time.

This should be carved in stone.

You tried to invalidate OP's reaction to the shit present she got from her SIL after 200+ hours of free babysitting by humble-bragging about yourself.

That's gas-lighting and in my experience there are two kinds of people who gaslight: sadists and masochists.

These people are users. I’d be offering my services very sparingly from now on (and only if I enjoyed looking after the children from time to time). They should have bought you a thoughtful, not mean present too.

I could say that pink is blue in my experience but it still wouldn't make it true 🤷‍♂️