To be a little annoyed by this token gift

[slightlyjadedbythis]

I do a lot of free babysitting for my nieces and nephews.

One family got me a really lovely gift voucher. It was really appreciated and came with a really lovely card. It genuinely brought tears to my eyes.

The other family (who I’ve probably babysat for for over 200 hours this year) have got me a gift set that is currently on sale for £3. My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly.

AIBU to think that this is a little cheeky when I do so much free babysitting?

Ah, it seems they think they are entitled to your time and labour (and it is labour even if you love the kids to pieces).

Start saying no more often. They are treating you worse than with would treat an actual staff member.

You can ‘uncommit’ to the babysitting next year. Give advance notice if you’re inclined to. I.e say ‘’I’m happy to do the babysitting for January but I’m not available thereafter on a regular basis’’

you don’t have to give them a reason - you don’t owe them anything! Maybe they’ll appreciate you more when you’re gone..

use that extra free time to do something you enjoy !

You are entitled to change your mind! As long as you give them plenty of notice to source an alternative, I would just make myself much less available in 2026.

I think of babysitting as being in the evenings, or is it weekend daytime? I enjoy the latter as I get to spend time with the kids but not the.former, then youre just unpaid help...

I already know how this is going to go down. I told them no because I’m in holiday and they started saying that they have no help and they never get a break. Notwithstanding the fact I babysit pretty much three times a month!!

A last minute no-thought £3 gift from comfortably off people is pretty crap anyway. Then, considering how much you do to help them, they are just taking you for granted, aren’t they. If someone did 200 hours of babysitting for me and I was able to afford it, I’d get them a £100 gift card without thinking twice. 50 pence per hour for someone reliable and you can trust is a bargain. They’ll value you if you’re less available, the fools. Honestly, I’d be tempted to do virtually nothing else for them.

So uncommit.
Tell them that things have changed and you are no longer available.

Theyll be furious.
That is ok. Its ok for someone to be cross with you. It won't kill you and it will not feel as bad as it feels right now.

Cross posts. What @Jellyx said.

Let them react however they want! They’re allowed to be disappointed! You’re not their free babysitter! Let them be upset- not your problem!

Basically they're users. Shame you're going to be so much busier from now on, they'll need to use someone else.

Yes, but they made the choice to have children. Looking after them is their responsibility, not yours.

They can throw a tantrum, that’s fine. Treat it like you would a toddler tantrum - just don’t give in.

My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly.

They think so little of you they didn't even remember to get you anything until they remembered on Christmas eve, then grabbed something in the supermarket thinking 'It's crap but It will do'.

I'd not be babysitting for them again. I love the way little children are so open.

How it goes down is their problem, no? You don't have to take on their disappointment as your responsibility.

I have to admit it makes me want to stop. It really has made me feel like shit. They’re going on three holidays in the first five months of next and they could only get this?

We then, change your mind and plans.

I think you need to be blunt here and say, “Look - I’m not a paid-for childcare service. Your expectations that I’ll always be available are totally unreasonable. I’m doing this entirely from good will and I’ll do it when I’m available. You should be happy that I’ve helped you as much as I have and wishing me a nice holiday, not grumbling that I’m not available.”

So what? Not your circus, not your monkeys. They’ve shown you how little they value you. Believe them - and value yourself x

Then just don’t do it.

So it’s clearly not a money issue and they also could afford babysitting. I’d do no more, sorry but they don’t value you.

You can't have it all ways. If you want to do it do it but if you don't, don't. It would never occur to me to look for thanks of gifts for something like that. I do loads too but I find it really awkward and uneccessary if anyone gets me anything to say thanks. No thanks needed.

A gift is a gift. It is not payment for services rendered. If you want to, charge for your time. If you don't want to then don't.

Apologies if I’ve missed this, but how are the two adults related to you? Brother? Sister? DH’s brother or sister?

time to un-commit then. You suddenly have root canals scheduled every friday night for the foreseeable future

You're accepting what you believe you are worth.
Time to change your beliefs.

You need to speak to your brother and tell him unloved and unwanted his actions have made you feel.

Thanks are always needed when someone does something for someone else.

It's not hard. It's just good manners.

If you don't expect people in your life to appreciate things you do for them or at least have the good manners to say thank you, that's just you and it's quite sad actually that you value your deeds so poorly.