To be a little annoyed by this token gift

[slightlyjadedbythis]

I do a lot of free babysitting for my nieces and nephews.

One family got me a really lovely gift voucher. It was really appreciated and came with a really lovely card. It genuinely brought tears to my eyes.

The other family (who I’ve probably babysat for for over 200 hours this year) have got me a gift set that is currently on sale for £3. My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly.

AIBU to think that this is a little cheeky when I do so much free babysitting?

You need to take control - you hold the cards. You are rightfully upset at the lack of appreciation and thought so in your shoes I would be serving notice that I will no longer be as available to them. It’s not your problem if they are upset / will struggle to get an alternative babysitter. Claim back your time and agency. They are taking advantage of your generosity - time to stop it.

@ZeldaFighter ..Time difference here so slow to respond. She definetly felt slighted and minimized the hurt by saying”she didn’t want anything anyways” but she has retold me this…cases of wine and jewlery gifts for other people but not her” so I know it hit hard.

the little girls love her. They get a bit anxious if my dd mentions not babysitting anymore. The parents changed the night from wed to Tuesday and now my dd is back in school but she continues to babysit as the little girls are worried and will say “ please tell me you will
still be able to babysit” and they are only 6 and 10 expressing this concern. I think the lack of gift is crappy myself. She does a lot of drop offs and pick ups and seems to be very helpful to the family

OP - my suggestion is that you tell them that among your other Xmas presents was an amazingly thoughtful unlimited cinema subscription / series of bridge classes / ten paid sessions for jiu jitsu (delete as appropriate) and that being the case your previously free time in 2026 is now too busy for babysitting after all. With a breezy ‘Sorry!’

Its hard because wanting a gift for doing the babysitting ... makes it not free. I get it, it's the principal of it all.
What happened last Xmas?

I think next time I was there to babysit I would bring the gift and leave it there, saying its not really of any use and that you're happy to let them know what products you would use if they do want to say thanks for all the babysitting!

Then you’re a mug.

Ime people treat you as shabbily as you allow.
Free rides over imo.
You are seen as staff - not even that, a volunteer! .. And a mug.

Its not "free" babysitting if youre expecting (and judging the families based on) a gift.

And its a bit crass ro be like I babysit for free i deserve a more expensive gift

What did your sibling (or best friend) buy you for Christmas Laura? What did you buy them?

Did it cost more than £3?

Cancel some of the baby sitting. They are obviously not appreciative. I get it, less about the price, it's about some recognition. Frankly it's insulting.

You don't have to babysit op but its s great way to forge a lifelong relationship with your nieces and nephews. I never expected or received gifts or payment even when I looked after mine for days at a time, and now I am really close to them which is priceless. Just a thought.

Uncommit to the ungrateful gits. No longer your problem

Do your siblings get you a Christmas present Uxmal ?

Do they appreciate you, and graciously accept if you have to say “no” to a babysitting request?

Well uncomit

Nah sod that! You are going to tell them you have got a job as you we'd the money. They will either pay you or not. You know where you stand

Start seeing your nieces/nephews at times that suit you. Start a tradition where you take them to the cinema once a month.
They are being so ungrateful I’m shocked!

I babysit for my nieces and have them come for sleepovers too but never expect anything in return. For me it is a win win as I get to spend fun time with them and their parents get a break.
We don't do adult presents in our family and I don't have young children so I spend and don't receive. My DSIL got me a personal token gift that probably cost a tenner at most and it didn't even cross my mind to connect how much I babysit to the value of the gift.
If you think your family are taking the piss and advantage of you, and you don't get anything out of spending the time with the children then you should stop for sure.

You sound wonderful and we would love to have you in our lives and would get you wonderful Christmas and birthday gifts! I think scale back this year - giving something out of love and not feeling the appreciation back will just make you feel bitter.

Stop babysitting for free.

It doesn't matter that you have told them you will babysit throughout next year. Let them know you are no longer available. They have adequate time to find someone else.

Tell them you are working part-time and are no longer available. Then babysit for people who pay you.

You could be running a side hustle for 200hrs a year, resting from your job/life or doing a hobby.

Like others have said, They've shown you what you mean to them.
Your choice how you proceed.

People treat you how you let them.

Tell them that you’re not feeling appreciated. If they explicitly said the gift was for all you have done the past year then you need to spell it out to them. I would also either reduce the time you’ve offered them or, if you don’t want to be upfront about the gift then tell them in light of the economy (or whatever you feel comfortable saying if you’re not comfortable telling them you’re fed up of being used) then you will have to charge for your time going forward

Honestly, they are users, who are completely taking advantage of your kind nature.

Toughen up, and don't stand for this anymore. Tough shit on them if they are furious or hacked off, just don't do it anymore.

Either tell them you are no longer available, OR tell them you'll be charging £15/hour from now on, payment due on the same day. No more favours for these piss takers.

Do NOT feel bad about it.

Unfortunately your kindness has just escalated to the point where it’s gone too far. As people have said it is time to change things moving forward. It would never last forever anyway.

You are bound to get busier yourself and your time more sparing at some point soon. So even if this wasn’t triggered by a Christmas gift, something else is likely to crop up in your life to change your arrangements. It’s a shame that a Christmas gift has made you realise they expect to take advantage of you if you let them. At the very least moving forward you should be paid for your time.

Just be careful when you do articulate whatever you do with them that they don’t twist it around into suggesting you don’t like babysitting the kids. If they are that selfish they might try and twist it around and make you feel guilty.

For a slightly different context and perspective, we had a Cleaner for several years who we paid hourly every week and often overpaid her by rounding up to the nearest hour. At Christmas we would also give her £100 cash as a thank you for all her hard work. This is obviously in addition to paying her. This was our way of demonstrating our appreciation even though we were already paying her.

You will learn as you get older that it is important to set boundaries with many people in order to not get taken advantage of. It is time they started paying you something at least, otherwise you need more personal time back. You don’t need to make up an excuse or a lie, you need to set an honest boundary. I wouldn’t link it to the Christmas gift though. Also, stop booking yourself so far ahead. You have made life far too easy for them.

Good luck OP!

It works both ways, they don't have to get OP a gift, but it helps the relationship and her availability/loyalty.

They're saving £££ in babysitting costs or would have to cancel a lot of the social stuff.

It's like saying not getting a bonus from your employer is ok when others have.
It's not a should, but helps the relationship.

OP saw the gifts to neighbours etc, so it's normal to feel undervalued.

She can still see the nieces and nephews when it suits her.

To book you for next year just shows how grabby they are.
They expect you to be available or for thier calendar to take priority.

Unfortunately, there are users in this world, and usually it's the ones very close to home.

Just babysit for the nice family from now on.

Tell the other family that you are no longer available to babysit for them. They can pay professionals to babysit. I absolutely hate wealthy people who are penny pinching and mean when they are receiving so much valuable help and support. Their gift was insulting, not kind.