To be a little annoyed by this token gift

[slightlyjadedbythis]

I do a lot of free babysitting for my nieces and nephews.

One family got me a really lovely gift voucher. It was really appreciated and came with a really lovely card. It genuinely brought tears to my eyes.

The other family (who I’ve probably babysat for for over 200 hours this year) have got me a gift set that is currently on sale for £3. My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly.

AIBU to think that this is a little cheeky when I do so much free babysitting?

If they haven’t been grateful during the year then I don’t think it’s a surprise that they are not being grateful now. Is it your brothers kids?

Can you tell them at some point that you feel they are taking advantage of you?

Do you have any children, @slightlyjadedbythis ?
If you don't but hope to have some one day, when you have children your siblings will expect you to still babysit for them and will probably never babysit for you.

Our paid babysitter had a token of £25 for Superdrug... Just saying.

This is usually the way op tight arses. I would just let them down a few times this year day before if they cannot give you a gift that appreciates you they obviously don’t they use you your free and there personal help it would be a no from me. Let them down then don’t commit any time to them unless it suits you make sure you have the last laugh horrible selfish fuckers. They are ungrateful tight wads.

I think Christmas is a great opportunity to show appreciation to others who help and support us. If they aren't showing appreciation (at any opportunity ) I would scale back on babysitting favours.

Hi @slightlyjadedbythis just uncommit if feeling appreciated is more important?

You are free to choose or not to help out. It would be a problem for them. It may cause ill feeling but they seem very happy with the arrangement!

It does sound quite shit.
How old are the children? Is this a couple of hours in the evening when the kids are in bed, or daytime babysitting? How close are you to the family?
Do you have children etc etc???

I think that somewhere along the line the generous gift of your time babysitting has become an expectation and an obligation. Now you know that, and the gift is just a symbol of this, you need to reset the whole thing.

No-one has to babysit for anyone, and 200 hours a year is a huge amount. I'd say once a month is fine for me, let them know asap or in New Year, say you are taking up the gym more/going out more, and that's what's on offer, if they fuss or say anything negative, then you know that this has gone out of control and may want to step back further.

They have a lot of money, know what you like, know you give the gift of your time all the time and that's what they are prepared to do effort-wise, it's up to you to reset this unbalanced dynamic.

Three times a month is a lot - you are being used. They clearly don’t care enough about doing this to you.
In a few days time please do message them and say your New Year’s resolution is to X and that will mean you’re not as available so can only do one evening per month maximum. Then reduce that to one evening per six weeks. Do go over and see them for lunch/ a cuppa but please regain your time and self worth.

The gift and the babysitting are two separate things.

These are your nieces and nephews, so presumably your sister or brother’s kids. it’s not your responsibility or duty to care for them. You can do it if you want to, but it’s at your convenience not theirs. Their kids, their job.

So what if they don’t like it? You have the power over your own time and what you do with it. Say no.

Your sibling could do better at presents. And you don’t need to babysit.

Stop gas-lighting her.
Her brother is treating her like a doormat.

This is not what gaslighting means...

Then uncommit yourself. Now you know how little you’re valued.

Give them enough notice to get other childcare. Make yourself leas available. They've shown what little they think of you. They take you for granted.

Yes, very hurtful indeed. People like that only place as much value on you as you insist they place. I would cancel all sitting for the forthcoming year. Just say you now have plans that make those suggested times impossible.

Unfortunately, if you are the kind of person who gets taken for granted, this never changes unless you decide to not let it happen again.

It is FINE for you to no longer be free to sit for them next year, fine to tolerate the discomfort this causes. If you like, you could say, you made it pretty clear at Christmas how little you value me, and that made me reflect on how much I am willing to be there at your convenience.

Let them squirm.

Oh wouldn’t you, aye?

Send them a list of your (new and now) hourly rates. 😉

Un-commit then

Stop babysitting for them very simple

Errm no.

If I would, I wouldn't have bothered saying I wouldn't 😳

A £3 gift chosen by the children...fine as long as its accompanied by something more substantial from the parents!

But this is all besides the point. OP is doing it for love and she wants only to be recognized with love. Her family can recognize her with a gift, or a huge fuss, or with a costly/fussy gift but mere money won’t do it. She will feel cheap asking for cash or food and they will respond even more contemptuously relegating her to a servant.

What was the gift though? Some people arent big on presents, I doubt it’s personal.

Honestly I don’t really believe you. I mean I believe you think this is true but I doubt that it is. Its a statement about how different your experience is from OP’s. Either the people in your life express appreciation for you in ways that you accept and enjoy or you don’t put yourself out for selfish people so you have no real knowledge of the situation. No visceral grasp of what it is to come up to a moment of gift giving/solemn and festive season of recognition of family ties, and see yourself as a begrudging afterthought.

They’ve taken you for granted and treating you appallingly. Not classy at all. I’d explain that you're prioritising your time differently in 2026…give them a date you’ll no longer be available. I’d say April .