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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
dannyufcfan · 26/12/2025 12:48

Sounds a keeper.

MamaJenni · 26/12/2025 12:49

You dont live together?
youre not married/financially tangled together?
theyre your kids not his?

block him and dont look back. Once you see them for what they are, theres no return!

best of luck on your new year adventures 🤪

KarmenPQZ · 26/12/2025 12:50

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama
sounds like he has past form if you had this conversation so it doesn’t sound like his behaviour has changed, just that you’re wise to him and ready to end it. Well done sounds like a good plan!

AmayaBuzzbee · 26/12/2025 12:51

I hope you are going to make sure he will not come back -ever. Give yourself the best present by blocking him on everything.

Vinvertebrate · 26/12/2025 12:51

Sounds like the rubbish took itself out 🤷‍♀️

I suspect he wanted out and engineered a situation. Either way, you’re well rid.

littleblackdress26 · 26/12/2025 12:52

Perfect timing you can start the new year fresh bye bye and good riddance!!

Thortour · 26/12/2025 12:53

Block. Sorry OP.

Beekman · 26/12/2025 12:54

Time for a fresh start. Think how much better things will be without this loser.

ilovesooty · 26/12/2025 12:55

Just remove him from your life. I can't see that he brings anything positive to it. I'd have got rid after the carol concert and wouldn't have had him for Christmas day.

DahlsChickenz · 26/12/2025 12:56

You're making the right decision to get rid, who could be bothered with all this arseholery

PollyPlumPeach · 26/12/2025 12:56

Always blows my mind the way some women have such low standards that they settle for someone like this. If you'd been married and his behaviour had changed over time that would be one thing, but you don't even live together, and you knew enough about his awful behaviour to give him a warning before inviting him for Christmas, yet you still thought things would work out somehow

Jellycatspyjamas · 26/12/2025 12:56

Why did he need to promise not to create drama? I suspect he’s prone to bad behaviour, which was never going to be better at Christmas. Just get rid really, who needs the stress of a poorly behaved, inconsiderate partner at any time of the year.

BCBird · 26/12/2025 12:56

Don't waste ur precious time on.this ' man baby

Ministerofmumbles · 26/12/2025 12:57

Seriously OP, how have you allowed this man that you’ve only been in a relationship with for 2 years around your kids?

AhBiscuits · 26/12/2025 12:58

Sounds like an issue which is easily sorted. Be happy that you aren't more tied to him and can have a lovely fresh start being single into the new year.

ThisJadeBear · 26/12/2025 13:01

If you let him back in you must want your head testing. Shouting that in your home in front of your kids?
Bin.

BookArt55 · 26/12/2025 13:01

Please don't talk to him or restart anything else.
The fact that you said that you only let hom come to Chrismtas if he promised to not cause any issues... that isn't a normal conversation.
You deserve better.
Your kids need to see either a healthy, happy relationship or a mum who knows her worth and is happy and healthy being single.
Glad you're having a lovely day with the kids.
Block him, don't allow him to waste another minute of your life.

Gymnopedie · 26/12/2025 13:01

Ministerofmumbles · 26/12/2025 12:57

Seriously OP, how have you allowed this man that you’ve only been in a relationship with for 2 years around your kids?

Oh come on. I know some on MN think you shouldn't introduce them until you're on your 25th anniversary and the kids are 40. Two years is reasonable.

Aluna · 26/12/2025 13:02

Why have you imposed this man on your kids?

Focus on them, and don’t date again until you’re ready for zero tolerance for nonsense.

SmileyMoonset · 26/12/2025 13:02

You are absolutely doing the right thing breaking up with this excuse of a man.

However:

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama

You need to take a look at your boundaries, you shouldn’t be dating a man you need to ask to make this promise, let alone letting him anywhere near your children.

Children learn how to have relationships from
those they see modelled around them. Witnessing this disfunction is really bad for them.

Cherrysherbet · 26/12/2025 13:03

Get rid of him op, with all the other Christmas rubbish. You’ll feel so much happier, and so will your children.

UninitendedShark · 26/12/2025 13:04

What a charmer! You’re well rid. Here’s to a new year without this let down of a bloke.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/12/2025 13:04

I agree with all the posters who have said get rid of this absolute bellend, @Cheeseyminky.

outerspacepotato · 26/12/2025 13:05

He sounds toxic and like he deliberately tried to spoil yours and your kids' Xmas. You are well rid of that gigantic asshole.

Gymnopedie · 26/12/2025 13:05

That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.

Please don't be sad about that. You are far better off without him and so are the DCs. Block him and put him out of your mind

Happy Boxing Day!

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