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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
Cando6 · 26/12/2025 13:49

Why did you put voting on? Did you think there was a chance somebody would think this was OK?!

Happy No-abusive-twat 2026 and thank you for illustrating one of my firm beliefs: That nobody should make big decisions about a relationship until two years in.

Bellyblueboy · 26/12/2025 13:50

Your children are watching this. Why would you let someone treat you like this?

Dollymylove · 26/12/2025 13:51

YABU for having this excuse of a man around you and your kids. What a loser.
Bin him off

ThisElatedShark · 26/12/2025 13:52

You deserve much better. Throw this one back 🐟

Lovelanza · 26/12/2025 13:53

Life’s too short for this shit. Block him on everything and enjoy the New Year !

usedtobeaylis · 26/12/2025 13:57

Fuck sake. Don't subject yourself or your kids to any more of this. Enjoy your day with your children and fuck him.

Bananalanacake · 26/12/2025 13:57

And did he bring anything positive to your life? thank god you don't live together, so much easier to ignore.

CountryMusicFan · 26/12/2025 13:59

You said you’re being ignored, does that mean you have contacted him? Why? You don’t live with him, haven't been with him long and he sounds like a complete loser. Just block. Don’t let a man like him near your kids again. Poor kids.

PersephonePomegranate · 26/12/2025 14:04

He's a knobhead. The fact you had to ask him not to create 'drama' verifies that. Those sorts want drama and chaos all day long. He's horrible and you're well rid.

Paramaribo2025 · 26/12/2025 14:04

What a twat,

Just delete and block him.
Your kids deserve better than this shithousery.

MaggieBsBoat · 26/12/2025 14:04

Are you sure OP. He sounds like a right prince!

somanychristmaslights · 26/12/2025 14:04

Why on earth are you putting your kids through that???? You only let him come over if he promised not to cause a drama? WTF?!? So this clearly isn’t a new behaviour, but you’re exposing your kids to this. For goodness sake dump and block this man and focus on your children!!!

Sasha07 · 26/12/2025 14:07

Seems like you got the present you really needed, him leaving. What an absolute arse. Me and DH were washing up in between cooking, not a word was said about the workload or anything. Your guy wasn't thinking of making Christmas Day special alongside you, he was expecting you to make it special for him. And for him to have the audacity to leave like that, that performance on it's own would have made me certain he'd never be around my kids, or me, again.

Please, please don't let him have a hold over you. He left but you can chose to lock and bolt the door after him. You're worth so much more than a man baby, make sure he never has a chance to make you feel like shit again.

RoamingToaster · 26/12/2025 14:08

He’s never going to improve. Please stick to your decision. Happy Boxing Day and a happy new year!

coconutchocolatecream · 26/12/2025 14:11

He's not necessary for your happiness, and in fact, he's contributing to your unhappiness. Since you don't have children together or share a home, you don't have to deal with him, so don't. He can stay out.

SchrodingersKoala · 26/12/2025 14:12

Block, delete, never let this man be around you and your children again. Thank goodness you don't live together or have children together, just breakup and never give him a second thought. Enjoy the rest of your christmas with your children.

Justchilling07 · 26/12/2025 14:12

MamaJenni · 26/12/2025 12:49

You dont live together?
youre not married/financially tangled together?
theyre your kids not his?

block him and dont look back. Once you see them for what they are, theres no return!

best of luck on your new year adventures 🤪

Yes, this.

ZookeeperSE · 26/12/2025 14:13

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life OP ❤️.
You and your children will be fine now xx

Voneska · 26/12/2025 14:15

I'm sorry for what I'm about to say dear sister, My heart goes out to you; if I was your close friend I would give you a hug. You see it's like this : He's having FUN - Seeing how far he can push you. I only Read a few lines of your post to understand that HES TOXIC and you will prob . Need Medication soon if you continue because YOU are the ONLY one in this relationship. You ARE GASLIGHTING YOURSELF into thinking you are TOGETHER !!!!! It's sooooooooo saaaaad really. Get yourself a good counsellor to find a resolution to your distorted view of thus relationship. Apologies if this is too blunt a truth. I just want to help. Life is hard enough without adopting A MAN - CHILD.

Eyeshadow · 26/12/2025 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Americano75 · 26/12/2025 14:16

Happy blocking! What an absolute arse.

SweetMotherofAbrahamLincoln · 26/12/2025 14:17

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

Christ, you couldn’t pay me to enough to even spend an hour in the company of a man like this, he certainly would never have made it into my home and around my children. No man is worth this. Throw him back to the shit heap he belongs on

cadburyegg · 26/12/2025 14:20

And he adds to your life how?

Sounds like an extra child!!!

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/12/2025 14:20

Ooft, the trash took itself out. Block, move on, you are well rid op. Start 2026 with a spring in your step never having to put with this twat’s shit ever again.

Scout2016 · 26/12/2025 14:23

Good for you OP. Don't let him wheedle (sp?) his way back in. Here's to a dickhead free 2026 and beyond!