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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
parakeet · 26/12/2025 13:30

Well done on seeing him for as he is. Stay strong and don't take him back - just focus on giving your children a lovely rest of the Christmas break. Have a wonderful 2026.

Sharpzebra · 26/12/2025 13:30

Time to get rid of him doing this Infront of your children isn't great and you let this happen for 2 years or has the behaviour got worse? Either way block him don't entertain him again and say good riddance

RedGreenNeverSeen · 26/12/2025 13:30

You and your kids deserve so much better than this.

SunnyViper · 26/12/2025 13:32

So he has form for this and he is still in your life??

TheMorgenmuffel · 26/12/2025 13:33

When he resurfaces, i hope you tell him to stay fucked off.

He's not worth it.

VikingsandDragons · 26/12/2025 13:33

It's only 2 years in, don't sign up for a third. He's shown you who he is, believe him and act accordingly. Your children's lives would have been better yesterday without him in it, I'd hazard a guess they'd always be better without him in it.

HK04 · 26/12/2025 13:34

The best present 💝 be to kick him to the kerb. He’s shown you who he is many times and you need to listen. Better to be on your own. Well done you for pulling it back and concentrating on the kids.

Daleksatemyshed · 26/12/2025 13:34

The best Christmas present you could give yourself Op, locking the door behind him and blocking his number. He's another manchild, he can't cope with you putting anyone before him so well done on finally seeing him so clearly. Have a happy New Year without him @Cheeseyminky

socks1107 · 26/12/2025 13:35

Take back any keys he may have, block him and move into the new year without this lazy waste of space.

LoudSnoringDog · 26/12/2025 13:36

God. Bin this one.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 26/12/2025 13:36

Ministerofmumbles · 26/12/2025 12:57

Seriously OP, how have you allowed this man that you’ve only been in a relationship with for 2 years around your kids?

Erm, because it's 2 years not 2 months.

Gremlins101 · 26/12/2025 13:37

What a horrifically awful man. Congratulations on getting your life back!!

CraftyPlayer · 26/12/2025 13:37

Don’t let him back in op. What a prick. You and your kids deserve better.

CocksBolingey · 26/12/2025 13:39

Hope your not entertaining seeing this toxic bellend again?

Pipsquiggle · 26/12/2025 13:40

I think you breaking up with him is the best present you could give to yourself and your DC

Allmychickenscometoroost · 26/12/2025 13:41

KarmenPQZ · 26/12/2025 12:50

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama
sounds like he has past form if you had this conversation so it doesn’t sound like his behaviour has changed, just that you’re wise to him and ready to end it. Well done sounds like a good plan!

💯 this. He sounds like an attention seeking twat and a drain on your energy. You'd be unreasonable to expose your children to him ever again. You have a choice in bringing him into their lives whereas they do not. They have to put up with it. Make better choices.

Zov · 26/12/2025 13:42

Oh FGS @Cheeseyminky ditch his ass. He sounds awful!

MO0N · 26/12/2025 13:43

OP, sounds like this man wants to be admired and to be the center of attention, has to be the important one in the relationship etc.
In his mind he has put in two years of effort trying to train you to be what he wants you to be. He may well try to reel you back in by buttering you up. He might pull out all the stops and be as nice as pie in an effort to get his feet under the table so that you can't get rid of him.
Don't fall for it @Cheeseyminky

Alittlefrustrated · 26/12/2025 13:44

Your children deserve much better than being forced to have this emotionally and verbally abusive man in their home.

Toomanysofttoys · 26/12/2025 13:44

Your 24 month contract is up.. yippee. Don't renew but look for an upgrade.

Message him a we are done text then treat yourself.

SabrinaCarpetCleaner · 26/12/2025 13:46

I don't normally comment on these types of threads, but I just had to chip in on this occasion. Because he sounds vile. You're conferring to yourself a lifetime of misery if you stick with him. I've been married for 20 years, and my husband never sat down at all yesterday. He also bought and very thoughtfully (he bought packaging he knew would make me laugh) wrapped my gifts. Tell the waster to gtf.

Applesonthelawn · 26/12/2025 13:47

Just remember that you and your kids deserve so much better than that. Why would you waste time lowering your standards to have such a loser in your life? It is a blessing that he's gone, make sure he stays gone, and make sure you are on your own until someone who deserves you all shows up. Don't waste a single moment thinking about him. Onward and upward.

cocobanana922 · 26/12/2025 13:48

Your poor children. Get rid of this piece of crap, if only for your children if you believe you don't deserve better than him.

ArtfulScreamer · 26/12/2025 13:48

Is he doing that thing were he's a complete cock so that you bin him and then he gets to act all woe is me and be the victim because you've dumped him. Either way he's a cock so block and move on no child whatever age they are need this example of a prince among men!

Interpink · 26/12/2025 13:49

He’s just not that into you.

And also a cunt.

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