I'm done..

[Cheeseyminky]

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

He was adding nothing to your life, so you're well rid.

I can’t believe you had to warn him not to cause drama. And yet you invited him to celebrate Christmas Day with your poor children. ugh.

Although not ideal, I think busy high pressure times like Christmas highlight people that add things to our lives and people that drain away our energy.

He doesnt seem to be adding anything, not even simple support. Get rid.

Brilliant!
You'll be starting the new year single, and without an absolute bell end of a boyfriend!!

You sound capable and normal and nice, he sounds like a cunt.

Block and delete

Please just break up with him. I'd do it today and start as you mean to go on. You deserve better than this.

Men like this have red flags waving from very early on and just by reading OPs post you can see that there is no concern for the effect on her dc and what it must have been like for them to be around him, but all about their feelings.

If life is better without him around, why would you ever have him around?

It does sound as if he is striking up the resentment and was looking to a pick fight. Ordinarily this is bad but it's a 100 times worse when your kids have to witness it.

Why are you saying you're in his bad books again? It's what you think of HIM that counts, he shouted and swore in front of your kids, caused drama when you asked him not to. He let you down at the last minute (carol concert) and he couldn't be bothered to wrap the gifts YOU bought yourself.

Good riddance.

I agree with this, it's such a blessing that you don't live together.😄
He thinks you'll soon be begging him to come back and when he doesn't hear from you he'll try and provoke some sort of response from you.
I would leave him twisting in the wind for evermore.

Not if they're a douchebag though.

I voted YABU because why would you even entertain staying with him when it sounds like this isn’t the first time he’s acted poorly. Especially when you have children to think of.

Move on. You won't miss him.

Agree with this.

OP, was the father of your kids much worse than this? I'm guessing someone has messed with your boundaries at some point.

Make sure you change your locks.

What a pig , no way should you or your kids see him again.
A waste of space

Good riddance. He did you a favour. I wouldn't ever contact him again.

Why would you want to be with this person?

You’re so much better off without this awful man. He sounds so selfish and immature. Enjoy being with your children, family and friends and don’t let him back into your life. Good luck

Speaking from experience, it's traumatic to a child to have a volatile, aggressive unrelated male in your home. They'll have been walking on eggshells, and feeling like they have to protect your from the boyfriend.

Only accept dates from exceptionally high quality, intelligent, feminist men, and best not to make you kids get involved.

And women, the only moral here is that, if your husband doesn’t buy you a present, or gets you a crappy last-minute gift when you’ve spent much of the year contorting yourself around his desires, he is telling you loud and clear that he’s not prepared to expend any resources - any time, any energy, any mental capacity, any money - on getting to know you, on seeing you as you really are, on enhancing your happiness or on recognising your value. This Christmas, don’t let anyone convince you that this isn’t a big deal.

https://open.substack.com/pub/rachelhewitt/p/why-are-some-men-so-bad-at-gift-giving

Goodness me, stop putting yourself AND your kids through this! Block his number, change the locks and whatever else you need to do to remove this negative person from your lives!

Sorry but no boyfriend of mine would act out like that in front of my kids.

He has spoilt a special family day and he's not even family.

What a childish and spoilt twat he is. I can't imagine that he brings anything positive to your life. Get rid of him as a belated Christmas present to yourself.

Time to ghost this idiotic motherfucker.

Dont answer his calls or text, if he comes to the door, just tell him that it’s finished.

what an absolutely spoilt useless man baby bell end

Don't allow this man back into your lives! If you have to get someone to promise there won't be any drama, they probably shouldn't be invited in the first place.