“Husband accused me of an affair” threads… not ATAAT but a question.

[CunningLinguist2]

Is @devoed okay? Threads disappeared & I am rooting hard for her & her kids against the KH.

Then take it back to court, say it’s unreasonable to have your schedule not fixed as you can’t make any plans etc. The DSC can flex around yours.

You can self rep.

You are making a rod for your own back here @Devoed by trying to negotiate with a man like this. Stick 100% to the order. That’s it. The other children are not your problem, that is for him to organise with their mum. If he doesn’t like it, he can return to court. Orders with “agree between parties” are so open to manipulation and they shouldn’t be allowed in my view.

Yep this is what I would do. I would make it clear that he is completely controlling your life and the order needs to be clear and fixed.

I’m nervous to go back to court because KH wilL push for 7/7 to fit in with DSC, which DC will hate; and the court may grant it to save on conflict

But he isn’t having fixed 7/7 with DSC so that doesn’t work hence the reason you are taking it back to court.

Does your DC enjoy seeing him or want to increase contact. Can you evidence he has lied about his times with DSC?

DSC is 9 times out of 10 a fixed 7/7 but, say the hols started on 1 Aug and it was mums weekend, dad would normally have them 7-14. They switched it so he had them 2-7, and then expected me to do the same after ignoring me for ages.

DC don’t understand the weight to a lot of the questions they’re being asked. I’m not sure the current pattern is working.

I can evidence he lied, yes.

This is outing but for Christmas….

KH should have DSC Fri-Fri, Mum have them Fri-Fri and KH then have them Fri-Sun.

However, they’ve agreed that DSC will be there Tues - Sat, plus some time the next week. Normally, Mum would drop them off at lunchtime on Christmas Eve and collect on Christmas Evening.

The only think agreed is that I drop them on Christmas Eve lunchtime and collect at a set time of Christmas afternoon. I’m not prepared to forgo that and I also don’t want DC bunching around all over the place. This would mean them not seeing DSC really though which I know he’ll kick off about.

I would just iterate that we agreed X for Christmas which took into account your regular contact with DSC, if you’ve changed that then that is on you.

If DSC are not on a regular schedule and KH wants them to see DC, then it is up to him to alter the DSC's schedule. You and DC will be sticking to the court order.

The only think agreed is that I drop them on Christmas Eve lunchtime and collect at a set time of Christmas afternoon. I’m not prepared to forgo that and I also don’t want DC bunching around all over the place. This would mean them not seeing DSC really though which I know he’ll kick off about.

So? He can kick off if he wants, he does not have to like it and he is allowed to have his own feelings about it. None of that needs to affect you. Arrangements for Christmas have already been set out so just stick to the agreement.

You don't need his approval and should stop looking for it.

I’ve said this over and over. There is an order. He does not get to decide how that order is interpreted to suit him. Ignore and do what is set. Everything else is his problem.