Christmas expense split unfairly

[Blackcat54]

I'm single, I go to my sisters for christmas who is married with two kids. Mum comes too, alone. Me and my sister do the Christmas food shop together and mum brings bits. I had one alcoholic drink on christmas day.
When it comes to splitting the expense for christmas food and drinks, my sister expects us to split it 3 ways between her (and her family) me, and my mum. I dont think this is fair because I'm one person, I barely drink, she's a family of four and she also keeps all of the leftover food and drink for her family. We havent sorted out the money side this year yet but will soon, how do I handle this? She can be very difficult when she doesnt get her own way.

50% sister/husband, 25% you and mum and all provide your own drinks.

Are you actually trolling here? You're on a low income but you think people spending a grand on Christmas is no big deal?

Unless you are struggling for money I don’t get the angst.
Hosting is a massive PITA. As others have pointed out, the cleaning and prep before is a job. Then there is cleaning after, keeping the heating on so everyone is comfortable. I presume her oven was also switched on for several hours. In our family someone brings the booze, someone sweet treats and crackers, someone pays for the turkey etc.

Never said it was no big deal

I am low income group but I mix with many diff groups but no big earners

hosting costs a lot

Why doesn't the husband pay his share? Why do the mum and sister have to pay a third when he pays nothing

83 quid for a Christmas dinner with one drink? No thanks

Hosting does not cost a lot. The oven would be on anyway. Heating would be on anyway. I have just spent three nights at my mums house for Christmas and I did not contribute to her cooking costs or her fuel costs in any significant way.

No one needs to clean and prep on their own. Most people clean as standard and the OP said she helped with the meal prep as well. Stop trying to make excuses for someone who is rinsing members of their own family

£250 is daft! I charge my daughter and son in law £65 and they stay five days!

You obviously can’t tolerate difference

I’m happy to disagree

obv we would buy diff things and host differently

I can tolerate difference thank you. I just don't agree with you that 250 pounds on one meal for four adults and two kids on Christmas day is reasonable - it is not on any level

The OPs sister could easily make a Christmas dinner for 6 people for forty pounds. The husband pays nothing so the burden falls on the mum and sister to pay their share

And keep on with it

I don’t agree with you and you keep coming back repeating yourself - suggests you can’t tolerate differing opinions

I don't host. I go to my mums every year because she has more space than me. I live in a one bedroom flat and she has two bedrooms. She also has pets she can't leave overnight (rabbits) whereas I have cats that I can leave and walk down to see them and feed them the next day

For context. My mum brother and myself had a takeaway on Christmas day - cost less than 23 quid.

You don't need to spend a fortune to be fed at Christmas. It's about being with family or friends in my view. Not how much you spend on food

You quoted me to start with but don't worry - I won't respond to you again. Hth!!!!!

£83 for a full Christmas meal of several courses, and the evening meal, hosted and cooked by someone else, at their house, is not unreasonable.

The race to the bottom police will no doubt be on this thread to pearl clutch that "carrots are only 5p a bag" etc etc, but actually, £83 is not a crazy price in the context of today's prices. Do you really want to be that person who's twittering that a meal for one is £4.50. Buy that and sit on your own then?

Hyperbole that £83 is soooooo expensive doesn't help anyone. If I could pay £83 and then shrug off any responsibility on Christmas day and have all my food served to me, it would be very appealing. How about you host for all three households and do all the work next year and see who's got the better deal?

Same here

hope you had a lovely time!

Oh gosh it’s you!

still going on

My thoughts entirely

The husband pays nothing. That's quite a big issue I think. The mum and sister pay towards booze and the sister doesn't drink. They get nothing to take home with them

I'd happily be that person to sit on my arse at home rather than pay 83 quid to a meal when the husband pays the square root of fuck all

Go. Away. You started quoting me and then got personal. Off you go.

I probably quoted you to relate what I was going to say

I don’t keep coming back and telling you you are wrong and keep going on!

Our family always came to us on Christmas Day and the meal cost me a small fortune. But now that it’s just the two of us, I don’t suppose I spend much less. The turkey still cost me £120, I still bought a gammon joint, sausage meat, bacon, cocktail sausages, loads of vegetables, xmas pudding, cream etc. Its just something I’ve always budgeted for and I would never have accepted any payment from anyone - I don’t charge guests for coming to my house!

I'm quite fucking happy to have had a takeaway that cost 23 quid between the three of us and brought my own booze because I wasn't being rinsed by my own sister who expected me to pay not only for her kids meals but her husbands dinner.... Because "hosting"

This is a good method OP. She may be annoyed, it may make her think twice about inviting you next year, but you shouldn’t be paying the same as for a 4 person family.

I host my parents (and my DH and 3 kids) and I pay for everything as they give us a lot of support throughout it the year. It really doesn’t have to cost £250. How does it cost so much?

Veggies and potatoes are under £1 with the 15p veg. We’re vegetarian but I’m assuming meat is going to be around £50(?), then maybe £20 max for sides; stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkies and sauces. Thats £70. Plus two tubs of chocolates, crackers, biscuits, cheese, crisps and a pudding, maybe another £40? Plus a few bottles of wine; £30.

How did you spend an extra £110?

We spend less than £100 all in for 7 of us.

I think that's more than fair. Stand your ground!

Wow, is that how much a turkey costs?! We’re vegetarian so I’m not up to speed on costs. I can imagine ever spending that on one food item on the plate.