Christmas expense split unfairly

[Blackcat54]

I'm single, I go to my sisters for christmas who is married with two kids. Mum comes too, alone. Me and my sister do the Christmas food shop together and mum brings bits. I had one alcoholic drink on christmas day.
When it comes to splitting the expense for christmas food and drinks, my sister expects us to split it 3 ways between her (and her family) me, and my mum. I dont think this is fair because I'm one person, I barely drink, she's a family of four and she also keeps all of the leftover food and drink for her family. We havent sorted out the money side this year yet but will soon, how do I handle this? She can be very difficult when she doesnt get her own way.

It’s a lot of money for a significant portion of the population, surely you must know that?

I think this is really reasonable.

I’d also think hard about what you really would like to do next year. You are allowed to do your own thing at Christmas.

Just generally, 2-income households trying to contrive for single income female households to subsidise their children is REALLY unpleasant.

So feel free to ditch them next year and do your own thing - either with your mum
or alone.

This! If you’re not happy then host or go elsewhere next year. Otherwise perhaps instead of splitting it purely on money, divide up who brings what e.g crackers, soft drinks, desserts…

Come off it. The sister and mum are being rinsed and the husband contributes nothing. Why is he getting a free pass here

Some families wouldn't ask for a contribution at all or they wouldn't spend such a ridiculous amount of money in the first place

The sister and her husband are getting fed and alcohol -plus their two kids fed for 83 quid. Whereas the mum and sister have to pay 83 quid each. Completely unfair split. She's rinsing you both

Sack her off and do your own thing next year

Not cheap is an understatement. Pretty sure someone could cook a very decent Xmas dinner from scratch for 4 adults for less than forty quid. Easily

As someone who has done just that (and had more than enough leftovers for 2 small children) I entirely concur. I can't imagine spending £250. It smacks of someone wanting an extravagant Christmas (which is fine) knowing that others will foot a lot of the bill (which is not fine).

Id split food 4 ways amongst the adults.

She gets to keep leftovers because she cooks.

Drinks are bring your own

I totally agree.

How big is the booze bill? If someone doesn't drink, I'd never expect them to pay for it. You're best off asking to split the bill 4 ways this year and then next year, get ahead of it by shopping with her but asking for the alcohol to be kept separate as you won't be drinking. Then show up with a bottle of wine if you think you might like a glass.

She will still have had to do all the cleaning, all the organising, all the clean up afterwards.

Why would she?

I think given it sound alike her spouse doesn’t muck in it’s not good to expect you all to just split 3 ways

but then she does have all the mental prep and planning as it’s in her home as well as all the other cleaning etc

if I could afford it I’d leave it - but say next year can we put the alcohol aside

yea that’s the way just split the food and make sure you bring your own alcohol contribution

The OPs sister doesn't need to be spending 250 quid on food and drink for four adults and two kids. That's the bigger issue in my view. No way would I be paying 83 quid for a Christmas dinner and one drink.

I don't have loads of money - that just isn't doable for me on any level

As I have said - keep the alcohol out

you have to take into consideration her house is hosting - cleaning up afterwards etc which you’d get out of!

I think the contribution is £250
btw

I t try think £250 for 6 people is very cheap

most people spend double that

Really? My family don't

The sister could do a meal for 6 plus alcohol for much less than 250 pounds

Everyone I know does

some up to 1k for hosting what with gifts and all

im low income group

But she didn’t

it all adds up and OP went shopping with her so assume they agreed

I live on a low income - where would I get 83 pounds to give a family member?

She really cant justify a three way split if she has a partner, it has to be 4 way. For next year, I would suggest a 4 way split on the food bill but everyone brings their own booze. She can't have spent £250 on one meal for 6 people. If she objects, you a d your mum could eat out.

That's ridiculous sorry. No one needs to be spending a grand at Christmas even with gifts included. Lots of people struggle - and the OPs sisters husband pays nothing - they keep all the alcohol and don't even give the OP and her mum leftovers to take home

I honestly couldn't live like this. We hosted Christmas. In laws brought a pudding, wine and some snacks to have during the day, which was all lovely but not expected. We would never ask for money for coming to our home. That is not hosting.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd just go out with your mum for lunch next year and see your sister for a drink and cake or something.

This

Only you can say

Yes I’m always staggered by hosts wanting payment!