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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I a strict, unreasonable mum to 15 year old DS?

158 replies

echinaceaberry · 26/12/2025 08:08

NC'd for this.

I wrote a long post and then thought, all I want to ask is: what is reasonable amount of time for a 15 year to be gaming in his room on non school days?

It is the endless war in our house and I'm really depressed by it, by how I'm made out to be over challenging it.

OP posts:
MeouwKing · 26/12/2025 11:58

What about RSI? Do teens who excessively game get RSI?

usedtobeaylis · 26/12/2025 12:45

usedtobeaylis · 26/12/2025 11:36

My daughter gets a certain amount of regulation from methodical, systematic elements of screen time. That is very different to using them all day long to the extent of extreme reactions when having to come off them. I honestly don't know what I would do if she gets to 15 and it becomes this big thing. I feel for you, teens are often difficult to parent on general without this added in. I think as others have said I think it's about the overall balance. Can you even try talking with him during the week and agreeing a schedule of sorts for the weekend where he does do other things for a couple of hours? I kind of do this with my daughter so she's not on her tablet for long stretches and I find it works better to be firm and clear beforehand and stick to it - although I'm under no illusions that this can be absolutely pointless with an older teen.

*she also gets regulation from swimming, riding her bike, climbing and reading. Justifying excessive screen time with 'regulation' is a bit strange.

ParmaVioletTea · 26/12/2025 13:57

echinaceaberry · 26/12/2025 09:04

Anything. Learn an instrument. Write a short story. Cook. Listen to music. Read a book (has become an enormously reluctant reader)

I'm a creative, so that would be obvious for me but anything other than gaming.

Yes, he games a lot with friends. Sometimes chooses to be on his own.

Show quote history

Totally reasonable @echinaceaberry and I sympathise. Children today don’t seem to have the hobbies that children growing up any time before the 90s had.

And they don’t read enough - I’m seeing this in the undergrads I teach (humanities). They just don’t have the background of wide reading that I would expect for undergrads supposedly devoted to the discipline I teach ( they talk about their dedication in the UCAS forms and interviews but I see limited evidence in seminars …)

Hankunamatata · 26/12/2025 13:59

5 hours is max me and dh allow. And they have to take a break every 1.5 hours for 30 mins

Bedrock81 · 26/12/2025 14:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

teaandtoastwouldbenice · 26/12/2025 15:29

As long as homework gets done and some attempt at being present in the home/also getting up for school in the morning. I accept defeat. The battle isn’t fun.
The more I make less of a fuss, the more he finds time to do other things - but then he’s younger at 12, so Lego and some other toys are still a draw.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 26/12/2025 18:54

Hang on until he’s 16 and then push him to get a pt job. Neither of mine were massive gamers, loved their screens though, but sport, scouts and most definitely part time jobs as soon as they were 16 were great distractions, got them out of the house and and were the absolute making of them.

SummerFeverVenice · 26/12/2025 18:56

So long as they are doing their schoolwork, eating, showering, a bit of exercise and sleeping. No limit.

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