To be fuming that DH has spent the whole day on his laptop?

[MamaOnTheCoast]

DH has spent the whole day on his laptop “working” in his home office and he hasn’t even seen me and the DC all day! He was up at 5am (the kids woke up at 6am) and he is still in his home office “working” now so we haven’t seen him all day! He even refused Christmas dinner as he said he was “too busy working”. DH does a senior office based job and he wasn’t meant to be working at all over Christmas but he is saying he apparently has to work today “because it’s urgent”! It’s Christmas Day and we haven’t seen him all day and DH can’t see the problem with this! The kids are really upset about it too! AIBU to be livid with DH over this? DH literally doesn’t see the problem but I’m fuming and the kids are upset too!

I am not sure they make a big announcement like the DH, pretty much telling the OP " I am locking myself in my home office for the day, don't disturb me, I am espionning" 😂

He started working from home at 5am and was still at it at 9pm last night -on Christmas day. I don't believe it's porn or an affair or espionage. He probably was asked to work a couple of extra hours but just sat in his office all day gaming - because he didn't want to be around four kids

No one needs money that badly that they need to work 15 hours on Christmas day unless they have to - one of the emergency services or others

Starting at approx midnight and working all through the night? Sure. I know people in the Uk who work tech support for US companies and whilst they do work to US times they don’t start work at midnight and work for 16 hours.

Why are people tying themselves in knots to come up with ridiculous excuses for this unacceptable behaviour?

It's got nothing to do with him being a man, women are equally capable of behaving unreasonably and often do. But there is no question whether he's behaved unreasonably, as the poster I quoted was suggesting.

Nothing to do with the fact he's male. Not even having five minutes for your wife and kids at Christmas is ridiculous

Why are you saying that like it's a reasonable explanation? He would also have been assessed as a foster carer, and if he doesn't want to do it then they shouldn't be doing it. He has MORE of a responsibility to these children than he would to his birth children.

Who says he works in tech support?

No one, I was talking about the people I know. but the point is the times. 5 am start here is late night/early hours US. So highly unlikely someone working for a US company would be starting work at that time, unplanned, on Christmas Day. Just showing your explanation and tying yourself in knots to justify yet more male cuntish behaviour to be utter bullshit.

No update OP?

Not really, it's just that it is possible in my world, so I'm just concerned that the OP shouldn't leap to dramatic and potentially life-changing conclusions based on the principle that no one else can envisage this situation in their own line of work.

As said earlier, though, I do think it's odd that he hasn't explained anything.

So what office work for a US company requires starting work on Christmas Day at midnight for 16 hours? Do tell

Your work needs a better contingency planning protocol, my friend

He's got four foster kids that he couldn't even be bothered spending five minutes with on Christmas day

What a prize twat. Why are you with him?

Jesus, it's bad enough reading about all the misfits who pick fights and argue over Christmas but this level of disengagement takes the biscuit. He clearly just doesn't, for whatever reason, want to "do" Christmas and OP needs to find out WTF is going on with some urgency I suggest.

whatever his jon he would definitely have had time for an explanation! He clearly didn’t care about spending the day with OP and foster kids and doesn’t sound as though he was sorry either

It sounds like he just works in a normal office Admin job, 9 to 5, and the office probably isn’t even open on Christmas Day.

Everyone I know that works over Christmas (work in 24/7 environment) KNEW well in advance they were working at Christmas, and so did their families. Exactly what hours, and based their Christmas around that. They had their dinners early or later depending on that.

So they might have had to work for some of it, but it wasn’t a surprise. They were also well paid for it. Make sure you see his payslip to see what extra money he got for being called to work, last minute, on Christmas Day for 12+ hours.

It sounds to me, that this lad just decided that being on his laptop was easier that being with his family. I’d be surprised if he was working at all.
Probably gambling. He is definitely not working all that time, he just opted out of Christmas Day with his family. This should be a time that you ask yourself if he is being truthful about a lot of things he is doing.

Good luck x x

Not unknown if they are addicted.

If you're a freelancer working for an agency that delivers on promises to monolithic corporate US clients, it is not unheard of for the client to shout "Jump!" at the worst possible moment, to test the agency's dedication ("How high?"). Especially around times of year when most staff are absent, freelancers can then come under pressure to complete the task, especially if they are closest to the project based on historical involvement.

Look, I know it's atypical but it's not impossible.

I'm not contorting myself to defend a man, or whatever else PPs have accused me of. In the absence of much concrete information from the OP, I'm just wary of taking the pin out of a hand grenade and hurling it into her Xmas family life based on my own assumptions. The situation is unusual, even suspicious, but I just don't share the absolute confidence of some PPs that this can only be interpreted as him being an arsehole.

Of course, he might be an arsehole. As I've said, it's odd that he hasn't explained anything.

this was apparently another made up story to argue amongst yourselves on Christmas

Has he opted out of home life and opted into another?

Hmm, what does he do for work OP? I work for a global tech gisht. One you all know and use regularly. I’d say we have office jobs however, there are certain departments that do ‘cover’ on a rota as you can imagine not everyone in every organization can go off at the same time. Could it be network outage? Or data breech etc? Anyway no excuse for him not just telling you what the issue is and plsnning your day accordingly. For the kids sake, make the best of it with them (leave him to whatever is so important£

Unplug his router

I would switch of the internet and fuck the consequences.

Can you disconnect the internet somehow?