To be fuming that DH has spent the whole day on his laptop?

[MamaOnTheCoast]

DH has spent the whole day on his laptop “working” in his home office and he hasn’t even seen me and the DC all day! He was up at 5am (the kids woke up at 6am) and he is still in his home office “working” now so we haven’t seen him all day! He even refused Christmas dinner as he said he was “too busy working”. DH does a senior office based job and he wasn’t meant to be working at all over Christmas but he is saying he apparently has to work today “because it’s urgent”! It’s Christmas Day and we haven’t seen him all day and DH can’t see the problem with this! The kids are really upset about it too! AIBU to be livid with DH over this? DH literally doesn’t see the problem but I’m fuming and the kids are upset too!

Has he got another family abroad he is spending the day with online? A captured hostage somewhere? Or is he addicted to gambling online or buying selling shares...Is there a huge financial crisis somewhere...top secret threat of alien invasion? I don't understand what would keep him in there all day?? Sounds like he's fully engaged/ hooked on something else anyway which isn't great - If that was my partner I'd need to know what was so urgent and was there anything to be very worried about?

Maybe because its foster kids.... not his own

I asked my office based senior management husband. He’s suggesting it might be the difference between striking an end of year deal meaning a 50k bonus or not…. Or maybe keeping his job?
I would expect him to be explaining the why to you though.

Working hard is one thing. Whats the point in "paying for it all" if he blanked his family all day? Pointless.

He wasn’t working, that's for sure.

On a Teams calls on Christmas Day? I think he's just avoiding you. No one is on a bloody Teams call on Christmas Day unless they work in the kind of business that is open 24/7 and something urgent has happened.

Very sad

So you are stuck because you can't foster on your own? Did he want to foster? Unless he's part of the Trump administration, it's totally BS.

Why are you having a pop at her?

Why do so many people seem to think anyone needing to work over Christmas is the problem? That is not the problem.

What is the problem?

Because she's a foster carer and she has a responsibility. I highly doubt this is the first instance of this kind of behaviour.

For 15 hours, starting at 5 am, completely unexpectedly, with not a word of explanation to your family?

So why do you think she's posting on here asking for advice and support? Do you think it might be because she knows he is behaving in an unacceptable way?

Mate I can't help you. @

Workaholic or he just hates you all.

That's fine, I don't require help, thanks, mate @.
Just clarification.
However, no matter.

Yes indeed. It's a strange one.

Some sort of private life firefighting going on. OW in crisis or in labour or something.

Unless he is planning on carrying out brain surgery this week, he has no reason for not participating in the joy for the children on Christmas Day, even for a few hours, no matter how urgent the issue is.

By work he either means chatting to Sheila from the office or watching BabyDemon69 from OF. No way he’s working back to back all day.

For US clients, yes, quite possible! I haven't personally gone to such extremes, but have done similar. I don't think it's fair to assume he's having an affair or just avoiding the family, although OP might be along to give us more clues.

Does he work for a company based abroad where it's a normal working day? If so, although it's disappointing for you and your family - it's not unreasonable that he might be expected to deal with an emergency, especially if he is senior management.

If he is catching up with something important that should have been done before Christmas (due to his poor management/timekeeping skills ir procrastination), he needs to get his act together to save both his job and his marriage.

If he doesn't want to engage with you and/or his family on Christmas Day, because he would rather do something else, or he simply doesn't want to be with you, you have a serious problem. If it's this one, I'm assuming his lack of engagement with family life is not a new problem and your relationship is already in trouble.

This is not ok… especially if they are foster children! I am a social worker ( I am now a children’s guardian) and I can’t see how it is ok for these children to see that one of their carers is not available for them on a day that is likely to be tricky. I have lots of work I could do on Christmas Day due my job (which I didn’t) but I can’t see any office role that means it’s urgent.

Is he Father Christmas himself carrying out his online duties for the world? Beginning to think this is a wind up thread