DH is a spoilt brat

[arcticpandas]

He is going to be gifted a perfume today. He asked for 100 ml but Mil asked me to order 200 ml. I helped her out with her online orders. Partner said oh did I ask for a perfume? I told him yes. He said: but did I ask for 100 ml? I said yes but your mum might have gotten you more since she's generous, you will see.
He goes off yelling about not being able to take it on his travels (100 ml limit) and I should have known better and he has no use for 200 ml. I told him I don't travel often neither does Mil so how the fuck were we to think that he wanted his perfume for travel.

Mil has thrown ticket and box away so can't return. I am so furious with dh acting like a spoilt brat. Our kids would never act like this even if disappointed- they are teens and polite.

Later on he came and said sorry I shouldn't have reacted like that...and then he went on again talking about how he'll have no use for it and he will buy his 100 ml himself and how he will never ask for anything again ! Bonkers ! If it wasn't for my kids I would be leaving for a couple of days. Immature entitled twat!! I have been disappointed with gifts but never said something but believe me this year I will not save his feelings and will tell him to return anything I don't like. Would that be unreasonable?

It's not about the perfume though. I understood that later and so would you if you had read the thread.

Fortunately he puts up with my "shit" as well. None of us are perfect and sometimes we act in ways that are not becoming. What matters is how you deal with the aftermath; accountability and remorse.

Perfume was my choice of words. He would probably say cologne/after shave.

All men I know are using them so I must be surrounded by drags.

You're way too reasonable, OP 😉 Have a good weekend with your family.

The men's market is 40% of the overall market and growing. Have you not see the ads for Sauvage and Bleu De Chanel plastered all over the place? Men have been wearing Old Spice for nearly a century. Were they gay?

Thank you. This is very much the case. I had a friend in tears on the phone over having forgotten an ingredient for the christmas meal. So much emotions at christmas and all the stress that comes out when you take time off from work and allow yourself to feel. Women are allowed this but not men apparantly. I don't buy this misogynistic worldview. My sons feel comfortable crying when they are sad and dh and myself console them and talk about their feelings. I thought we had gotten further than this when it comes to stereotypes about male/female behaviour.

You're defending him now but remember you were the one who started the thread and called him a spoilt brat!

My vagina just dried up due to secondhand ick. What a princess he is.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 "at breaking point" over a 'perfume'.

We don't know the reason, like most have said, probably not about the actual perfume.
Calling someone you don't know names is going to help OP in what way?

Then she talked to him, and updated accordingly.

It's ok to have a rant sometimes or or you little miss perfect?

Stop with the pulling someone down.

Would you be happier for OP not to resolve issues and divorce him, how does being so negative and holding on to the past enrich your life?

Either comprehension isn't your strong point or you're deliberately being obtuse and delight in couples breaking up over little things.

OP isn't leaving him, so tough for you.

Tbf OP, whilst you have clarified in later posts, the title says DH is a spoilt Brat, not acted like which suggests a trend or at least more than just one scenario (with extenuating circumstances that were essentially drip fed) so you cant really blame posters for calling him childish etc

Had you have started your post with DH is having a really rough time atm, is breaking g down crying and is on the edge of burnout, AIBU for thinking hes acting like a spoilt Brat in this scenario... you may have gotten a flaming yourself

See I like reading and contributing to mumsnet but it is rare the occasion I'd seek advice here...particularly about my kids or marriage. Some of the advice can be brilliant but it's a task to pick it out from the base level negativity.

Oh and guilty as charged too...earlier in the thread I was scathing about the DH.
But when OP returned, said they'd talked it out and all was well, I believed her.
She would know after all.

If I were her I'd leave the thread now, it's ongoing comments either from people who haven't read it, or those who think they know better...or those who are disappointed by the outcome.

It gives perspective. When a man behaving in this ridiculous way is your norm, you sometimes become blind to just how unacceptable it is, and what it reveals about his character. If you justify it, then the next step is to change your own behaviour to avoid 'putting him through it' again, be more careful, jump through hoops. A stranger's immediate response shows you that for other people its not remotely normal or acceptable, so if you choose to indulge and pander, that's up to you, but don't feel you should have to.

Not relevant as OP has clarified, time and time again
But seems the man & marriage haters are out in force this Christmas.

Why not believe OP when she says they've resolved it?

If this is the start of abusive behaviour, an OP should feel comfortable enough to come back and ask for more advice and be open.
As it stands there's little chance of that happening when you've had your loved one called names, OP also called names and people saying LTB over one little insight.

Her Dh said sorry before OP posted, so she clearly just wanted a rant.
Just like the bathrobe of doom threads.

This should be a forum to help and encourage, but a lot just want to see the breakdown of a family unit.

Concern would be asking if he's normally like this, is he stressed at work, hows the relationship with his mum, could there be something else behind it etc....

Yet many just jumped to insults and name calling, which isn't helpful at all.

That is quite the leap...says more about your mind to be honest.

My autistic DH would react similarly if he got something that wasn't exactly what he'd asked for - not blowing up and being angry, but he'd state his disappointment and why it was now useless for what he wanted it for. He would just tell it how it is without thinking about the social impact of his truth. You say your DC is autistic - is this from you or DH? Usually one or both parents are!

He has apologised - hopefully it will be a running joke and I would send him.off to buy his own gifts next year and just transfer the money!

The OP asked for comments on a specific instance of behaviour and that's what she got. If the insults to her husband have caused her to back track due to protectiveness of a man who isn't as bad as this incident suggests, then that's perspective too I guess.

Says you calling people little miss perfect

Not over a perfume. But I don't think you understand even if I explained it to you. I will let Google explain what pp referred to;
The idiom "the straw that broke the camel's back" describes a minor or routine action that causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction due to the cumulative effect of previous small actions. It alludes to the proverb "it is the last straw that breaks the camel's back"

Will take this advice. Thank you to those who have left insightful/helpful comments. 🩷

Ok, because that's the same 😅.

It was a rhetorical question fgs.

Why is he wearing perfume?? Is he a drag act