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Original poster

DH is a spoilt brat

214 replies

arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 09:11

He is going to be gifted a perfume today. He asked for 100 ml but Mil asked me to order 200 ml. I helped her out with her online orders. Partner said oh did I ask for a perfume? I told him yes. He said: but did I ask for 100 ml? I said yes but your mum might have gotten you more since she's generous, you will see.
He goes off yelling about not being able to take it on his travels (100 ml limit) and I should have known better and he has no use for 200 ml. I told him I don't travel often neither does Mil so how the fuck were we to think that he wanted his perfume for travel.

Mil has thrown ticket and box away so can't return. I am so furious with dh acting like a spoilt brat. Our kids would never act like this even if disappointed- they are teens and polite.

Later on he came and said sorry I shouldn't have reacted like that...and then he went on again talking about how he'll have no use for it and he will buy his 100 ml himself and how he will never ask for anything again ! Bonkers ! If it wasn't for my kids I would be leaving for a couple of days. Immature entitled twat!! I have been disappointed with gifts but never said something but believe me this year I will not save his feelings and will tell him to return anything I don't like. Would that be unreasonable?

OP posts:
Bedhead1234 · 25/12/2025 18:48

Andepeda · 25/12/2025 12:59

He wants staff to be impressed by his bottle. Nothing to do with the scent.

.

Puffalicious · 25/12/2025 19:06

When did men start calling it perfume? Even DS21 & DS19 call it aftershave, whether they're shaving or not. It just sounds weird. And all this 'It's about the bottle' would give me the absolute ick. What a bell-end.

ForeverHopeful3 · 25/12/2025 19:15

Cupboarddoorknob · 25/12/2025 09:12

Wow. You sleep with this man?

Right??? She found THIS attractive enough to marry and have kids with! Some women love being with manchilds!

DisabledDemon · 25/12/2025 20:20

How on earth does he get himself to work every day - do you have to hold his hand?

Original poster
arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 20:42

ForeverHopeful3 · 25/12/2025 19:15

Right??? She found THIS attractive enough to marry and have kids with! Some women love being with manchilds!

Show quote history

Jesus. I have described one incident. Dh doesn't have form for being entitled and rude- quite the contrary. That's why I found it so strange and unsettling and thinking that he's close to a burnout.

I have done and said things in the past that I'm not proud of- it doesn't make me a horrible person. I condemn his behaviour but he's a decent man in general. Who I found attractive enough to marry and have kids with. I hope you don't judge yourself and others so harshly irl over isolated incidents.

OP posts:
Original poster
arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 20:43

To pp who wondered. Yes, cologne/after shave. I just call it perfume- always have. As long as we understand each other I hope that's OK. 😉

OP posts:
myotheraccountsa · 25/12/2025 20:51

This is a weird thread. You post asking if DH was being a spoilt brat. The majority reply confirming yes he was. You jump to his defense and get annoyed people are saying that. Why post at all, and might you be enabling his brattiness by excusing this sort of behaviour?

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 25/12/2025 22:16

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 15:06

It's not just about the contents of the bottle, it's about the bottle itself. The 100 ml bottle will look different, feel different in the hand, take up a different space on the dresser or in a bag. Some people notice and care about such things.

But those people need to grow the fuck up, quite frankly.

wildlifeobserver1 · 25/12/2025 22:23

I think his reaction is poor but I have to agree with him.
I understand the kind intent of the larger gift but he did ask for the 100ml and now he’s got a gift he’s unable to use, and now has to buy himself the 100ml again. I am also fed up of receiving gifts ‘similar’ to what I asked for but not quite the same.

Everyone is linking atomisers but they’re only little and good for a few spritzes, certainly not something that would last a few days away!

MamsKnit · 25/12/2025 22:25

arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 13:08

😂 that's so funny. Noone will see his bottle in his hotel room. He just likes beautiful objects, some people do. I understand that but he could just buy himself 100 ml and leave the 200 ml at home. I even offered to do it but he went all " no, no, I'll handle it".

To be fair, he normally wouldn't be this mental about it but might have muttered something. So he's def overreacted due to stress.

Show quote history

What is it that you love about him?

Randomchat · 25/12/2025 23:03

ThereWillBeReaperCushionsSoBeWarned · 25/12/2025 16:14

He shouldn’t have a tantrum but he did ask for the 100ml bottle in fairness.

Show quote history

That's the kind of thing my dh would do. I would say "I would like this perfume in a 100ml bottle". He would buy a bigger one because it's better value or because he wants to be generous. But it's not what I want. It's what he thinks I want. Or he'd buy me a slightly different perfume because he thinks it's better.

It drives me crazy.

But I wouldn't have a serious tantrum. I just roll my eyes and wonder why I bothered asking.

ThePoetsWife · 25/12/2025 23:24

Get a decanter / I have these and one is enough for a few days

InSpainTheRain · 26/12/2025 00:41

But if he uses it regularly why can’t he use the 200ml bottle at home? Surely he doesn’t only wear perfume when travelling? Manchild!

Roobarbtwo · 26/12/2025 04:24

arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 09:11

He is going to be gifted a perfume today. He asked for 100 ml but Mil asked me to order 200 ml. I helped her out with her online orders. Partner said oh did I ask for a perfume? I told him yes. He said: but did I ask for 100 ml? I said yes but your mum might have gotten you more since she's generous, you will see.
He goes off yelling about not being able to take it on his travels (100 ml limit) and I should have known better and he has no use for 200 ml. I told him I don't travel often neither does Mil so how the fuck were we to think that he wanted his perfume for travel.

Mil has thrown ticket and box away so can't return. I am so furious with dh acting like a spoilt brat. Our kids would never act like this even if disappointed- they are teens and polite.

Later on he came and said sorry I shouldn't have reacted like that...and then he went on again talking about how he'll have no use for it and he will buy his 100 ml himself and how he will never ask for anything again ! Bonkers ! If it wasn't for my kids I would be leaving for a couple of days. Immature entitled twat!! I have been disappointed with gifts but never said something but believe me this year I will not save his feelings and will tell him to return anything I don't like. Would that be unreasonable?

Why does he need to take aftershave or cologne on his travels. Don't get me wrong I like perfume but if someone got me one that was 200 ml I would go out and buy a smaller cheaper one from aldi or lidl and not act like an ungrateful cunt

Roobarbtwo · 26/12/2025 04:28

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 15:06

It's not just about the contents of the bottle, it's about the bottle itself. The 100 ml bottle will look different, feel different in the hand, take up a different space on the dresser or in a bag. Some people notice and care about such things.

Sorry what? If my mum bought me 200 ml of perfume I would be so thankful for it.

Roobarbtwo · 26/12/2025 04:35

arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 20:42

Jesus. I have described one incident. Dh doesn't have form for being entitled and rude- quite the contrary. That's why I found it so strange and unsettling and thinking that he's close to a burnout.

I have done and said things in the past that I'm not proud of- it doesn't make me a horrible person. I condemn his behaviour but he's a decent man in general. Who I found attractive enough to marry and have kids with. I hope you don't judge yourself and others so harshly irl over isolated incidents.

Show quote history

Sorry - burnout doesn't entitle you to act like a dick when someone has been decent enough to buy you a really decent present

The fact that he said he will have no use for it is preposterous. He's never home in between his travels?

I suffer from ptsd. It's horrible and debilitating. I don't use it to act like a dick if someone buys me a present I don't want

I hope his mum doesn't find out how he acted over this

NoSoupForU · 26/12/2025 05:04

He's obviously overreacted, and only you know whether that's the norm or wildly out of character.

But he asked for something specific. Then you and his mother have decided you know better. He shouldn't have to justify his reasons for requesting the specific size.

Ponoka7 · 26/12/2025 06:24

Is it really about him not being listened to, not being considered and him being ignored? That's what 'wrong' gifts usually symbolise for women. If he uses it at home, then it's a tantrum, but if he never, them I'd understand it. Is your marriage honestly ending, or are you joking? If it wasn't, I'd say start to talk to each other, because it does sound as though he's going into burnout.

Original poster
arcticpandas · 26/12/2025 07:14

Ponoka7 · 26/12/2025 06:24

Is it really about him not being listened to, not being considered and him being ignored? That's what 'wrong' gifts usually symbolise for women. If he uses it at home, then it's a tantrum, but if he never, them I'd understand it. Is your marriage honestly ending, or are you joking? If it wasn't, I'd say start to talk to each other, because it does sound as though he's going into burnout.

I am not going to leave him because he acted like a dick on this one occasion. He cried yesterday saying he felt close to the edge of burnout. I am supporting him obviously and forgiving his outburst. He's a decent man normally and a good father to our children.

OP posts:
pictoosh · 26/12/2025 07:48

You won't get many responses to your post there. It's not what people here want to hear.
Personally I'm glad you have been able to talk it out and move on from the incident. I think he behaved like an utter twat but to be honest and fair, many of us have our moments and so long as we can own them and apologise, life goes on.

PantaloonMad · 26/12/2025 07:52

He does sound pathetic and rude, and he can just buy a travel atomiser very cheaply and easily if he wants to decant some to travel with. Very sorry for you and his mum!

SapphireSeptember · 26/12/2025 08:10

arcticpandas · 26/12/2025 07:14

I am not going to leave him because he acted like a dick on this one occasion. He cried yesterday saying he felt close to the edge of burnout. I am supporting him obviously and forgiving his outburst. He's a decent man normally and a good father to our children.

Show quote history

Been there, done that. It's the tiny thing that sparks and causes the explosion. Hope you're both okay. 💐

Celestialmoods · 26/12/2025 08:23

This is a perfect example of classic MN double standards and the crazy man haters are all over it. There are plenty of threads from women on here saying that they are upset by their present, all receiving sympathy and understanding and being told that they deserve better.

He reacted badly, but it is it reasonable to be a bit upset when you have been asked what you want for Christmas, then specified an exact thing, and been given something different. Men are not allowed to be disappointed with presents on MN, let alone express it.

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 08:31

arcticpandas · 26/12/2025 07:14

I am not going to leave him because he acted like a dick on this one occasion. He cried yesterday saying he felt close to the edge of burnout. I am supporting him obviously and forgiving his outburst. He's a decent man normally and a good father to our children.

Show quote history

Oh they won’t like that OP. You’re supposed to hate men with every fibre of your being and file for divorce, not actually take marriage seriously. Shame on you. 😃

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