Just to take lots of presents straight in the charity shop

[Bestreached]

I know I'm being ungrateful, but FFS please can everyone stop buying me shit I don't need! I have been so clear to everyone for years now that I don't want any presents. The acquisition of pointless stuff stresses me out. I have everything I want and need. I do not need more things, and if I ever do I can get them myself and don't need you to give me them on an arbitrary day!

I could not have been clearer with people. Much as I love you for thinking of me and putting the effort / expenditure in, please please please do not do it because I don't want you to. This isn't false modesty or whatever. I don't mind getting you stuff if you want. If you really do want to get the joy of giving, give to a charity on my behalf. I just do not want more things!! Argh!!!!

So AIBU to not even bother opening the many presents that my apparently deaf friends and relatives have got me and just take them straight to the charity shop? And if anyone thinks I'm being ungrateful and should think of all those people who want presents but don't get any, I would gladly give all of mine to them. Pick them up from the front garden in the morning.

I have a sil who is a shopaholic and goes way ott esp with my dc. Dh wasnt much help this year either with his last min spree on xmas eve that i tried to reign in. I msgd her to say thanks etc in reply to her ty msg, i added in 'next year secret santa😃' and she had the fucking cheek to reply saying its us needs to stop and went on to say she buys all the kids stuff (which is far too much) to help ease the financial side - we are not broke by any means. We dont need it. Cant reply without seeming like a cheeky cow.
Mil even said herself last night shes got an addiction.

Exacrly. They dont consider the impact and emotional/physical labour dumped on us to manage and store it all. We havent room for the stuff thats left here.

@Bestreached I am curious....even though you didn't want an advent calendar why haven't you just taken the chocolate out and put it in your cupboard to eat?

24 individual unwrapped bits of chocolate just sat in my cupboard? Neh. If I want chocolate I will buy a chocolate bar and eat it.

Not when one side goes against normal societal expectations. If you are the one who is being different and against the norm then a bigger responsibility falls on you, both to communicate it and to accept it with grace.

The communication you've used so far doesn't seem to have worked, if people still aren't getting it then you need to find a different way.

I get stressed by unwanted gifts too. Do charity shops even want some of the shit that gets handed out at Christmas? Festive themed tableware and clothing? Calendars and diaries that will be out of date soon? Personalised items that can’t be easily sold? I feel I am just passing on future landfill that they then have to pay to dispose of. Do food banks want sweets?

My lovely in laws have given me another scarf I won’t wear which will get donated as it’s decent quality and will hopefully make some money for the charity but I’d feel guilty about donating other stuff.

That’s great. I don’t drink so I would have to put it on Olio app since I don’t have anyone to give it to.

Still doesn’t take away one could easily not buy things in the first place for someone who doesn’t want gifts.

I think many people don’t want extra unnecessary presents. And there is a genuine issue of overconsumption.

However, you are even offended by somebody just offering you a cup of tea. And you think it is a slight on your independence. That is quite extraordinary behaviour and shows an unusual level of discomfort with social norms.

Put it in the food bank. Don’t be obtuse.

Only on MN does getting a tube of Bayliss and Harding hand lotion (other brands are available), cause huge stress. Meanwhile back in the real world we’d stick it in the School fete donations bag for the summer. It’s not hard.

Now to me this is just being ridiculously stubborn.
Just eat the blasted chocolate.
(I doubt they're unwrapped - but if they were just stick them in a food bag/container)

It absolutely has worked, I don't get any presents and I am delighted with it. I'm posting in solidarity with OP who hasn't achieved that yet.

There's more and more adults saying no presents please. The societal norm is shifting. And it doesn't change the fact that it's perfectly possible for anyone with a degree of emotional intelligence to reframe their need to buy shit as buying what the other person actually wants. If that is nothing then they should graciously give that. Still giving a gift, the gift of not burdening people with stuff they don't want. Everyone's happy then.

It's probably shit chocolate. The quality of chocolate is deteriorating these days, and decent chocolate is getting harder to find. I wouldn't eat it.

Or why didn't you just use the Advent Calendar as intended?
I mean seriously how much of an effort is it to just open a tiny door each day and eat the chocolate?
It's not exactly taking time out of your day other than about 10 seconds.

She said it was Lindt.

Agreed. The OP is being deliberately awkward to make her point. Talk about a drama llama.

Ah yes, of course. I had forgotten that unless chocolate is at least 90% cocoa, costs five times the price of standard chocolate and comes from an obscure chocolatier that no one has heard of, it is not worthy of their oh-so-exquisite taste.

Agreed. I think we are taking self-absorbtion to a whole new level here!

No!!!! Not Lindt! This has been decreed-from this year - as the Bayliss and Harding of the chocolate world! No one with any taste would go near them, apparently
In fact, one poor MNetter on another thread said the palm oil made them stick in her throat (she probably suffers from B&H itching too - how unlucky can you be?)

Exactly. Lindt is better than most brands, but only really upper-middle. I don't mind it, and wouldn't turn it down, but it wouldn't be first choice.

You sound like th Grinch.

One or two low-end brands are still OK. However most have poorer-quality, cheaper ingredients than they used to. This affects aroma, taste and texture for the worse. The price differential to make a real improvement is indeed 4 - 5 times standard these days.

Shifting but not shifted. Your stance remains the minority.

OP's communication needs to be better then, perhaps you could give her your solution.

Because I don't want to spend any time in my day opening a tiny cardboard door and extracting a small piece of chocolate. I am not 8 years old and it serves no purpose at all.

OP, I see where you are coming from, but please don't bin your board games and t-shirt. A charity shop would be glad glad of them, and it's lovely as a customer of charity shops to find unused items.