To have not lied to DS about trans actor in Last Christmas?

[DungOnATwig]

Watching above with DD17 (lesbian) and DS11 (straight) earlier today. One scene where a female presenting (long hair + fake eyelashes) but clearly biologically male actor plays a doctor (just Dr). DS says "that......lady sounds like a man".

I said yeah it is a man love. A man who identifies as a sex they are not.

DD paused then typed a wee bit more furiously than usual for 30 secs but then was ok. She knows tbf. She's lesbian and not pan.

It was so distilled down to me at the point of his very innocent (and tentative so as not to offend question) that I am not prepared to lie to my kid about the fucking fundamentals of life and tell them that person is a woman. Fuck that.

Merry Christmas 🍷

Also FUCK THAT FILM 😭😭😭😭😭

Pointing out that you can see someone is a man, isn't quite the same thing as (for instance) when the Queen of Spain was dissected for wearing a particular dress whilst middle-aged, but in the same week Eddie was praised for it (the exact same dress. And I might add, she looked lovely, but it didn't suit Eddie's body at all).

On the other hand, if these blokes want to be treated like women, here we go, that's what it should be - women in the spotlight have their appearance criticised all the time.

Sorry how can an 11year old be described as ‘straight’? Or did I read it wrong? They’re still a child, surely?

Exactly. Drop the “born as” and just say “He’s a man who likes to dress up and pretend he’s a woman”.

Being factual with the next generation is the only way this bullshit is going to go away.

I’m not cooing over anyone. I’m responding to someone who claimed that trans people aren’t subject to that scrutiny and ridicule. That claim is BS.

I’m pleasantly surprised by some of the responses on this thread. Mumsnet used to be an absolute cesspit of anti-trans sentiment but things seem to be changing.

If you are in the UK, you know that simply is not true.

I've watched that film. Had no idea there was a trans person in it. Looked through the photos and wouldn't be able to pick out which person was trans.
It's getting to the point where it's all a bit Lineham. People yell he's a 'protector of women' and tells the truth.
Yet his tweet to Victoria Coren because they dared have a trans woman on a quiz show. That's nothing to do with 'womens safety ' same as a trans woman being in a film. You're just showing you don't like them existing.
The same way that people don't mind gay people as long as they don't 'ram it down your throat'. Yet ramming it down your throat is holding hands or mentioning a partner.

It's really important to be honest. I always have been with our 12yo. It can be tricky though.

There's a trans boy in his school who he has known since infant school. One of his newer female friends likes this child. DS asked me if he should tell her that "Henry" is really a girl. I said none of your business unless friend develops romantic feelings for Henry.

😁

Have you seen what's been done to Caroline Farrow, Posie Parker, Sandie Peggie, Jennifer Melle, Rachel Rooney etc.

You absolutely can be brought in for questioning, have devices confiscated by the police, be placed on years long disciplinary procedures, hounded from your job etc. if you are not sufficiently deferential to a man who says he's a woman, and especially if you attract the attention of the wrong one (the ones who say they are lawyers, or who are/were in the police being particularly vindictive)

Omg bbz you were sooooo brave and sooooo right!

Its utterly nauseating when bigots come on here already under zero illusion they are BU, to disingenuously "ask" if they were BU just so they can bask in being told how wonderful they are.

Bet you couldn't wait to come and post after that exchange.

Its Christmas eve, instead of seeking validation from a bunch of like minded harridans on the internet like youre 12 years old, go outside and engage.

Ahh 'bitter', the good old misogynistic motive only ever dished out to actual women.

Nor for me 🤔 must watch again...

But it's true? He is not female?

What's with the weird misogynistic 'panties in a bunch'?

Surely this has come up in conversation before bearing in mind your daughter is 17? All seems a bit of a fuss over sod all to me.

You said what you think,fine.But there no 'one-time shot' to have perfect conversations...you can discuss as much as your kids want/ask. Later your Dd might disagree,and your son too. But you can,um,talk about it and also remind each other that you're all entitled to your own opinions - and that they often change over time.

Now stop being so serious and get on with Christmas Eve!🎄

Chill

Hilarious.

As if that isn’t exactly what men who want to present themselves as women crave. As if women aren’t punished for not providing it.

OP you are not only being entirely reasonable to be honest and truthful with your dc, you are also being entirely reasonable to promote honesty and truthfulness about a misogynistic ideology that harms all women, regardless of their beliefs, and destroys safeguarding of children and vulnerable adults.

Thank you - said it better than me!

go outside and engage.

Ditto to you, mate.

OP, you were right. I don't see what is "anti trans" in explaining to a child that people cannot magically change sex?

Do you see anything ‘anti-trans’ in saying ‘fuck that film’ for nothing more than casting a trans actor?

Read her post again. Try and understand it this time.

It's good to speak honestly to children in their own home, as they will get a lot of dishonesty elsewhere.
Also, the OP's "also, fuck that film" comment, with loads of crying faces, is clearly about the sadness of the ending not the trans character.

I don't see what is "anti trans" in explaining to a child that people cannot magically change sex?

Nobody in this thread has claimed that it is anti-trans to explain to a child that people cannot magically change sex.

All the child noted was that a 'female' character in a film sounded like a man.

I'm not sure where this claim that someone has magically changed sex that needs to be corrected has come from.

This. Forewarned is forearmed.