To have not lied to DS about trans actor in Last Christmas?

[DungOnATwig]

Watching above with DD17 (lesbian) and DS11 (straight) earlier today. One scene where a female presenting (long hair + fake eyelashes) but clearly biologically male actor plays a doctor (just Dr). DS says "that......lady sounds like a man".

I said yeah it is a man love. A man who identifies as a sex they are not.

DD paused then typed a wee bit more furiously than usual for 30 secs but then was ok. She knows tbf. She's lesbian and not pan.

It was so distilled down to me at the point of his very innocent (and tentative so as not to offend question) that I am not prepared to lie to my kid about the fucking fundamentals of life and tell them that person is a woman. Fuck that.

Merry Christmas 🍷

Also FUCK THAT FILM 😭😭😭😭😭

Because I get sick of men being praised for things women are torn down for?

Women are scrutinised mercilessly for their appearance.

Men, even the ones pretending to be women, don’t have that same pressure.

Look at Eddie Izzard. A woman would be destroyed by other women for dressing how he does but women fall over themselves to talk about his “amazing legs” and how amazing he is for wearing heels.

It’s internalised misogyny.

👆

I've never seen such bitter nonsense.

Sorry but this is absolute nonsense.

Trans people are routinely openly discussed on sites like this based on criticisms of their appearances in a lose-lose way.

Trans women who make efforts to pass are derided for either failing to pass or for ‘reducing’ womanhood to makeup and clothes. Trans women who make fewer efforts to pass, or are unsuccessful in doing so are mocked for that fact. Try looking for sneering references to male pattern baldness on this forum.

The experience of trans people is of being routinely subject to public ridicule or scrutiny of their appearance.

I wish I could cherry pick the easy stuff and fuck the periods, period pains, hormonal issues, menopause, squeezing a human out of my vag, misogyny, pay gaps, fear of walking alone at night, fear of walking alone in an unfamiliar area, menopause, weight gain, sexism in the workplace etc etc etc

fuck it though. I have nice make up.

Trans people are allowed to be actors.

Trans people are allowed to appear in films.

Deciding a film is shit and "fuck that film" on the sole basis that a trans person appears for what sounds like a very brief background role is just transphobia.

There's no way it can be dressed up as legitimate GC concern.

Women are scrutinised mercilessly for their appearance.

Men, even the ones pretending to be women, don’t have that same pressure.

Trans people of course famously never have their appearance judged, ridiculed or criticized.

I would have just said it was a man dressed as a woman because that's what it was. There have always been men dressed as women and women dressed as 'principal boy' in Christmas things, nothing new about that and no need to be so cross, 'fucking' this and that. It's not our fault you were displeased by what you saw and having to explain it to your son but, honestly, it was hardly a big deal. I'd have had no problem explaining.

Or you could just say “yes it’s probably a trans person - man who believes he is a woman.” Doesnt mean you agree with it. You dont need to try and alienate your daughter.

A better answer is, “think it’s a trans woman”

Because men with a fetish for dressing up as women are insisting on using female only spaces, so it very much affects us

i would have simply said It is a woman

But seemingly it does though. Hence the continuous litigations.

See also Adam Ant and Richard O'Brien

That's not neutral. It's also a bit of a pompous lecture for an 11 year old who asked a simple question.

How about: yes, that is a man. Some men feel happier in women's clothing?

I don't see that you could lie, OP and why would you?

Born male=are male. Presentation, stereotypes,and dysphoria come on top of those facts

Why should a lesbian get her panties in a bunch over what a trans person is described as or not?

I could write a long list of how women have been disadvantaged by the recent male to female trans lobbying, but you won't listen anyway.

OP was right not to lie to her son and entitled to ask an AIBU without being attacked for it.

Because the safety and functionality of women’s spaces, both literal (changing rooms, refuges) and virtual (quotas, prize lists) depend on the exclusion of men.

The lie is that we are meant to accept those men who dress as women magically become one when they put a dress on
men can wear what they want and we have to affirm that
that’s absolutely true

If an intelligent and understanding group of people can see problems in accepting people as the sex they are not, in all and every situation, maybe that's because there really is an issue.

YABU to get so wound up over seeing someone like this on your tv. People like this exist everywhere - why is seeing them represented on tv getting you so angry. It’s quite embarrassing.

Either you wanted other people's opinions or you didn't. Are you just going to mock the people whose views might not align with yours?

To be fair, women are judged on appearance from when they are children. We are taught that our value is tied to our perceived beauty.

So what's the issue?

They wish to be treated like women?

Women are torn down CONSTANTLY.

A woman with receding hair, badly applied lipstick and a leather miniskirt will not be well received, we all know it.
So why coo over men doing it?
So stunning. So brave.
It's pathetic.

I assumed she meant "fuck that film" because it's one of those that has you sobbing by the end of it? Or maybe that's just me, I can't watch it without becoming an emotional wreck. Same as with "Me Before You" 🤣😭