To refuse to let DD vape?

[CoastAndSand]

DD (16) wants to vape in her room. We have tried everything for 2 years to get her to stop vaping and she won’t so the rule so far has been no vaping in the house or garden.

DD has asked recently if she can vape in her room. DH thinks it’s fine as long as she has her window open but I don’t agree with him. AIBU? I’m not happy with DD vaping at all, let alone inside the house! What would you do?

No realistic standard

Exactly so let them do it safely and not illegally behind parents back. This is like parents who refuse to buy condoms or put there daughters on birth control. Teenagers will experiment its a parents job to make sure they do it safely

And this attitude to bringing up children is one massive reason why our future is looking so bleak. No hope.

If I caught my 15 year old with a vape he would have his phone and computer taken off him.

I would be working out where she is buying them from. Search her wallet for fake ID!

Your house, your rules. Action and consequence.

Exactly! This is ridiculous.

Agree - no money, no phone access and a lengthy grounding

I wouldn't let her vape at all, in the house or out - just as I wouldn't let her smoke or drink.

I mean, it won't affect the house if she vapes in it. But it leads to chain vaping.. I've stopped vaping the last 6 weeks because I was waking up in the night and realising I was vaping in my sleep! It ends up where it's never out of your hand. At least if she has to go outside it won't be constant

They'll just vape elsewhere though if they really want to

So your underage daughter is illegally vaping for the last two years from the age of 14 and now at 16 she wants to vape in the house?

So, reasons for the hard no from me:
It’s illegal
its unhealthy
I wouldn’t support this behaviour
She is wasting either your money or her own
She has no respect for you if she is asking to do something illegal in your home
You aren’t parenting by letting her do this

If you don't want your DD to vape in the garden. Where do you want her to do it?

Even just passing a cloud of vape in the street from someone makes me gag. No way on earth I'd let anyone vape in my home because I don't want to breathe it in! Or have my home stink of artificial chemically stuff.

The fact that she's 16 and living at home means she has to tow the line.

I think it's really disappointing your husband is so accepting of it that he thinks it's ok to vape in her room. Is he not concerned about her lungs?! 😢 Or your home stinking?

How exactly is OP going to force her DD? She is 16! I think that boat sailed 2 years ago.

At 16 I worked and had my own money! I also studied. I bought what I wanted!

Nope. If she wants to vape she can go outside.

I work with drug addicted people. Cannabis IS the gateway drug, so get off your haughty horse 🐎 why don't you? And talk about something else

@CoastAndSand - make your husband read this

Same procedure for drugs?

Where is she getting the money?

Vapes are an expensive habit. Where are these teens getting the money ? If it’s allowance money then that should be stopped . Harder if they have a part time job though

I would not be letting my child vape anywhere at home/garden. I would be confiscating it if I found it. And, I would not be paying pocket money that could be financing it. Vaping/smoking is a hard No.

We have vastly differing standards?

Utter bollocks.

Every heroin user I have ever worked with has used cannabis. Not all cannabis users go into use other drugs.

How was she affording vapes at 14? That’s shocking.

This reminds me of when dd came back from uni after the first year with shit mental health (thanks Covid) and a weed habit. She was an adult so I ‘let’ her smoke in the garden on the weekends only cos she had a weekday 9-5 summer job my dh got for her.
A couple of years down the line - no more weed as it makes her too paranoid.
under 18 I wouldn’t allow vaping/smoking in the house. Wasn’t as fussed on alcohol but obviously sitting in your room w a bottle of vodka would not be tolerated. A cider with a meal would be. Impossible to police what they do out of the house, though.

@Nanny0gg absolutely not. Drugs are illegal. They are very much aware of the damage they cause to the people who use them, and those around them.

Drugs absolutely terrify me. Hence my approach to the vaping with my teen (17)