To refuse to let DD vape?

[CoastAndSand]

DD (16) wants to vape in her room. We have tried everything for 2 years to get her to stop vaping and she won’t so the rule so far has been no vaping in the house or garden.

DD has asked recently if she can vape in her room. DH thinks it’s fine as long as she has her window open but I don’t agree with him. AIBU? I’m not happy with DD vaping at all, let alone inside the house! What would you do?

Perhaps show her this article also

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/i-going-through-one-disposable-33101419.amp

Vaping is so prolific and problematic amoungst teens. It is the new smoking. And in some ways worse. An unregulated market, which cares little for its users, and even less for the environment, and is intent on keeping users using- it is more comparable to the drugs industry tbh. Vaping is more addictive than smoking, largely because there is no natural stop (the end of a cigarette) nor social stigma- these kids are constantly drawing nicotine which leads to a reliance that imo is above and beyond that of smoking (now- when there is a societal judgement/ expectation - most would be ashamed of a twenty, let alone a forty sixty or eighty a day habit of cigs- rather than in the past when it was more the norm ) I certainly wouldn’t let mine do it at home.

You said the same thing 3 times. Why? What was the point?

I vape, and I vape in the house. But it's your house so your choice whether you let her or not. I'd be pissed off she was vaping underage, and I'd be questioning where she gets them from, but also I've never been asked for ID in any vape shops other than one.

If you give her pocket money and this is how she's buying her vapes, stop giving her pocket money. If someone else is buying them for her, I'd be finding out who.

On one hand, you’re correct, there’s no causal link.

On the other, a 14 yo being socialised into addiction for no discernible reason, is dreadful. And I do think probably makes her more at risk of other addictions. At least getting high is fun. Vaping is simply addiction for its own sake. Batshit.

Hard no from me.

1. It's illegal to sell vapes to under 18s so how exactly is DD getting them? Find out, and report the shop.
2. How is DD paying for this?
3. Vapes are illegal for a reason. We don't know the long term effects yet but pumping artificial chemicals into your lungs cannot possibly have a health benefit
4. Your house your rules.

I don’t get it either. I had to work really hard at stopping smoking due to my nicotine addiction. Why anyone would choose to vape having never smoked is beyond me!

Yanbu , it would be a hard no from me

I would stick to the no vaping in house or garden rule

Australia is one. Nicotine vapes can only be bought from chemists after a pharmacist consult. (my state anyway).

However, we've now got a huge black market. Tobacconist shops popping up everywhere & openly selling. DS's 13 year old friend vapes. Started at 12.

Police have finally raided these shops where I am. People are desperately pleading on FB community pages for where to get them, almost like they were pleading for food & ranting about how horrible and unfair it is. It's pathetic.

Unfortunately the crims have gone to delivery mode & you just have to pm the FB page admin for the info. A smoke shop I pass every day was raided & has become an 'eithic supermarket' overnight.

Laws will only work if there's consequences for the buyers and sellers, including staff. Right now people vape openly.

I have a really serious fragrance allergy. Vapes are made with food flavoring, much of which is actually artificial fragrance.

My daughter can’t even buy whatever makeup she wants because bringing it in the house is dangerous. She has to buy things that are safe for me. If she brought a vape into the house it would be wwiii here.

so no, I don’t think you should let her vape. What she is doing is dangerous for her and other people.

There is also now research coming out how vapes wreak havoc on your oral microbiome. I work in dentistry and we have seen a huge rise in teenagers and young 20 year olds coming in with acute ulcerative gingivitis. Something that was common in the 70's and earlier when people were chain smoking. Cases of AUG lowered significantly until recently when vaping became popular. Put it this way, I've worked in dentistry for 15+ years and I can't remember seeing a case of AUG in that age group until recently. Now I see 2 cases a week sometimes. The smell and swelling from the gums is absolutely awful.

I vape. I wish I never started. I can’t believe anyone would think allowing a child to vape was ok? Inside or outside. Confiscate the ones she has and make sure she has no money to buy them. How the hell has this gone on for 2 years? You have to really put your foot down now. You can do it.

How do you even raise a child that gets to age 14 and does something like this? Were there no parenting happening in the house? Were the kids just allowed to do whatever they want and parents just didn’t bother. I don’t know a single teen who does the things that I read on here. Trying for 2 years op, since she was a little 14yo? I’m truly baffled

You need to report them to trading standards

Why haven't you reported these shops?

Why on earth does your DH want to allow this?

I absolutely would not! Making her go outside makes it harder for her which deters her affecting her health as much.

Absolutely not, I have 2 teens and the vaping would not happen full stop, let alone in the house.

My teenager vapes. I buy them for them. Hear me out.
I work on substance misuse, I see the damage illegal vapes do. The ones that contain THC and nitrazines etc.
Teenagers will tend to do things behind your back if you condemn it. I would rather know what is in the vape than them using one that they got from a friend or an illegal one.
We have tapered down from 2% nicotine to 1% and recently to liquid that doesn't contain nicotine so they will stop soon, hopefully 🤞🏻

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11813728/

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c93y82e9j90o.amp

I've posted the links so you understand my reasoning. Bear in mind I work with this on a daily basis.

I agree with you

No sorry, not in my house. I’m incredibly grateful never to have faced this but I think you’re allowed to say your house should be free of this utter shite. Agree with reporting the shop.

But it's bad for your health and allowing the DD to vape in her room would be tacitly encouraging her bad habit.

This is depressing.

Disgraceful parenting. Firstly to have not nipped it in the bud and now your husband actively encouraging it. How anyone can think vaping is safe long term is beyond me. Shameful.

Vaping is so insidious, it creeps up on you until you’re sucking on it morning to night. I’m three weeks free, using nicotine patches has been so easy. Perhaps agree to buy her patches to help her stop.